Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
Tag Line: Share the continuing story of the Wakefield twins and their friends - their laughter, heartaches and dreams.From the Back of the Book: Will Jessica steal Todd from Elizabeth? Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield are identical twins at Sweet Valley High. They're both popular, smart and gorgeous, but that's where the similarity ends. Elizabeth is friendly, outgoing and sincere--nothing like her snobbish and conniving twin. Jessica gets what she wants--at school, with friends and especially with guys. This time Jessica has set her sights on Todd Wilkins, the handsome star of the basketball team--the one boy that Elizabeth really likes. Elizabeth doesn't want to lose him but what Jessica wants, Jessica usually gets....even if it ends up hurting her sister.
Well, here we are. The first book of a
new series. We have new places to explore and a whole lot of new
people to meet. The cast of characters in Sweet Valley is pretty
extensive but there are a few that tend to show up pretty
consistently.
First we have our Wakefield
clan............Ned is the patriarch. He's a lawyer and
pretty successful judging by the brand new in-ground pool that the twins can't stop bragging about. Alice
is the matriarch. She's an interior designer who seems to care more
about fabric swatches than her own offspring. Steven is the
older brother. He's away at SVU but comes home frequently to
uncomfortably “flirt” with his sisters (you'll see what I mean).
Elizabeth is the oldest of the identical twins. She pretty
much always thinks she's right and anyone who disagrees with her is
just stupid. And then there's Jessica. A lot of bloggers
like to call Jess a sociopath but it's not entirely accurate. She
does feel bad about what she's done, just not bad enough to do
anything about it. I think she's more of a narcissist. She needs
everything to be about her all the time. She's also very histrionic,
making a huge deal out of absolutely everything.
Outside of the Wakefields, we have a
few characters that get a lot of page time. Lila is Jess's
best friend. Her dad is one of the richest men in the city (new
money) and her personality is basically just....rich. We have Enid,
Liz's best friend. She's one of those quiet, bookish girls that we
all know and love. Bruce is the son of the other richest man
in SV (old money) and he's pretty much the dick of the series. Todd
is the basketball hunk that everyone seems to want to get with for
reasons I can't even explain. Ken is the quarterback and
Winston is the school nerd. All of these characters are
massive stereotypes.
Before we kick off, it's important to
note that these books were published way back in the last century (1983 for this one) so
not only are they very politically incorrect but they're also
extremely sexist. Yes, it sucks but it is what it is.
Here we go...........
We meet Liz and Jess right off the bat,
of course, because this is their world and everyone in it exists to
please them. They are described as being “generously blessed with
all-American good looks”, “silky blonde hair” that brushes
their bronzed shoulders, “stunning figures”, “almond-shaped
eyes the blue-green of the Caribbean” and long legs that make up
most of their 5'6” frames. It's okay if you hate them already.
Their personalities aren't going to change that.
It's pretty rapidly established that
the identical twins are extremely different. Jess eats the souls of
babies and sacrifices kittens and puppies on a regular basis while
Liz has never done a single wrong thing in her entire saintly life.
Liz is a huge martyr, by the way. She constantly sacrifices her own
happiness for Jess's but then whines about it incessantly.
Jess is all in a tither because today
is the day they find out if they made it into Pi Beta. No, I don't
know why their high school has a sorority. I guess some do. It's
basically a popularity contest so Jess feels like she's a shoe-in.
Liz only pledged because the twins do absolutely everything
together.......except they don't. At all. So I don't know
what kind of BS that explanation was. Jess is a cheerleader and Liz
is on the school paper so they obviously explore different interests
all the time. Whatever.
The phone rings and super-social Jess
dashes off to answer it. It's Todd and he asks to talk to Liz. Jess
lies and says Liz can't possibly come to the phone. Then she babbles
about the Pi Beta thing and Todd wishes her good luck with that.
When Jess goes back into Liz's bedroom, Liz asks who was on the
phone. Jess says Todd called to wish her (Jess) good luck and Liz is
a little disappointed. She has a huge crush on Todd and thought he
might be interested in her too.
The twins go downstairs so we can meet
their absentee parents. Ned hints that he's working on a huge
lawsuit that involves SVH somehow and says he'll be working late with
fellow lawyer Marianna. Alice will also be working late on a
new project so the twins will be on their own for dinner. Both Jess
and Liz have to stay after school for cheer practice and a newspaper
meeting so they can't ride the bus home. Therefore they are allowed
to take the family's second car to school. This isn't your mama's
Corolla. The second car is a Fiat Spider convertible. No
16-year-old should be driving this car.
Jess pouts when she's told she can't
drive. She was involved in a minor accident a few days ago and is
grounded from driving for three weeks. She whines and rages about it
all the way to school. When Liz doesn't immediately take her side,
Jess accuses Liz of not loving her. She harps on this until Liz
promises to try to get Jess's grounding revoked. Jess is a master of
manipulation. That settled, Jess tells Liz that she thinks their dad
is having an affair with Marianna. Liz dismisses it but she's also
suspicious about the two of them.
They also have a very odd conversation
about the Patmans (Bruce's family) and the Fowlers (Lila's family).
The Patmans are old money and they want to preserve the historical
integrity of the town. The Fowlers are new money and want to build a
bunch of buildings everywhere. I wouldn't even mention this bizarre
thread of conversation but it actually turns out to be foreshadowing
for something later.
When they get to the school, Jess gives
Liz a big hug and steals the keys to the spider out of Liz's pocket.
Liz doesn't even try to get them back. She runs off to meet her best
friend Enid. Jess is pissed about this because she's worried people
might assume she's the one talking to loser Enid and it will ruin
Jess's reputation. She's a peach.
Enid gushes to Liz about a new boy
named Ronnie who Enid has a huge crush on. In the middle of
this conversation – which is very important to Enid and therefore
should be important to her best friend – Liz starts thinking about
how she's going to be a famous journalist someday. Right now she is
the star writer for the school paper and everyone worships her
genius. Especially the teacher that oversees them, Mr Collins.
He practically salivates every time Liz is in the room and it's just
as creepy and inappropriate as it sounds. Liz's most prominent
column is the “Eyes and Ears” column but no one knows she writes
it. It's a gossip column and her identity is kept secret from the
student body. There's a tradition that if the Eyes and Ears writer
is discovered, the entire student body with throw him or her into the
swimming pool fully clothed and Liz wants to avoid that at all costs.
Todd rocks up and Enid gets all shy and
takes off. The bell rings before Todd can actually say anything to
Liz but they arrange to meet later after the newspaper meeting and
his basketball practice. Because at SVH they do basketball and
football at the same fucking time somehow.
The girls make it into Pi Beta because
of course they do. #allhailthewakefieldtwins I really have nothing
else to say about that. I guess there's a dance associated with the
sorority and their brother fraternity but that's the only importance
it has.
Liz's meeting runs a little late and by
the time she dashes into the parking lot to meet Todd, she sees him
zooming away in the spider with Jess. She's devastated at this turn
of events AND she has to walk home. Poor Lizzy.
Back at home we meet Steven. Liz goes
on and on about how handsome he is and how he makes all the girls
swoon and what an amazing body he has and I'm just as uncomfortable
with this as you are. He announces he's hungry and orders her to get
her butt in the kitchen where she belongs and cook him something.
She finds this charming and goes to make him a sandwich. Of course
it had to be a sandwich. Jess comes in while he's eating and she
also gushes about how gorgeous he is. I thought SV was in
California, not Alabama.
Liz asks Jess why she took off with
Todd after school and left her stranded. Jess says she took him to
get decorations for the dance. She thought Liz was going to ride
home with someone else which makes so actual sense since Liz was the
one who was supposed to drive the spider. Liz asks if Todd mentioned
their meeting and Jess says no. Liz assumes Todd just forgot all
about her.
Steven leaves without really telling
them why he was home in the first place. Jess assumes he must have a
girlfriend that he's keeping hidden from them. She vows to go all
Nancy Drew on his ass and find out what he's up to.
We take a hop to school the next day.
All anyone can talk about is how Jess and Todd are the hot new couple
on campus. Liz naturally just mopes about this, whining to us about
how much she 💓LOVES💓 Todd even though, as far as I can tell, they've
barely ever spoken to each other. I think Liz just loves the idea of
Todd. Jess, meanwhile, is doing everything she can to get Todd to
ask her to the dance. He doesn't seem super interested in her which
Jess takes as a character flaw on his part. Clearly she's the best
girl in the whole damn town and she'll do whatever it takes to make
him see that.
After school, Jess runs into Rick
in the parking lot. Rick is a year older and a high school dropout.
Somehow he has tattoos even though you have to be 18 to get them. I
guess he has a fake ID. He flirts with Jess, calling her “Heaven”
(#gag) and then orders her to get in his camaro. For some reason she
does.
Main character seriously needs to watch
a few episodes of Law and Order SVU? Check.
Rick drives fast and dangerous but Jess
is thrilled by it. She wishes someone – particularly Todd –
could see her with Rick because he's just so cool. Rick knows where
Jess lives without her having to tell him which is really just creepy
but he drops her off around the corner so her parents won't see her
with him. He tells her to meet him in the same place tomorrow night
and then he drives off like a bat out of hell.
Jess arrives home at the same time as
Alice. She notices Alice is tense and assumes Alice also suspects
Ned of bending Marianna over his desk and giving her a good legal
briefing...if you know what I mean.
We skip to the next night. Jess has
dressed with care in a short skirt and low-cut top because she wants
to look older and more sophisticated. Liz assumes Jess is going out
with Todd and mopes some more about how horrible her life is.
Rick takes Jess to a biker bar and
orders them beers and shots of whiskey. Jess doesn't really touch
hers but he downs his beer and both the shots within the first ten
minutes of the date. He begins to get a little physically aggressive
with her and she does her best to fend off his roving hands. When he goes
in for a very non-consensual kiss, she gets pissed and orders him to
take her home. Despite the fact he's very obviously impaired and shouldn't be driving at all. Sigh.
Main character seriously needs to watch that very special episode of Full House about drunk driving? Check
Rick tells Jess that she shouldn't “put anything in the window that you
don't sell in the store” and tries to kiss her again.
I'm not even going to go into how wrong this attitude is. You all know this by now. It's 20 fucking 20.
Jess jumps up from the table, telling
Rick she'll just call a cab. He gets pissed and yanks her back down,
telling her she isn't going anywhere until he has his fun. Another
man at the bar asks if she's okay but it's pretty clear his
intentions are just to get her away from Rick so he can have his own
way with her. Rick gets pissed at the random dude and throws a
drunken punch. A bar fight breaks out and the police are called.
The bartender decides to press charges against Rick because this
isn't the first time he's caused trouble in the bar and Rick is
arrested and taken away.
Jess is sure that her entire life is
over but one of the remaining cops recognizes her as LIZ because his
daughter also goes to SVH. Jess does nothing to correct his
erroneous identification. He takes her home but lets her off with a
warning. He doesn't even bother to talk to her parents or anything.
He calls her Liz as he drives off and some chick named Caroline
who apparently also goes to SVH overhears and immediately begins
making phone calls.
By the next day at school, everyone has
heard the story about how Liz was arrested after being involved in a
bar riot with Rick. Liz is horrified but doesn't immediately make
the Jess connection because she's nowhere near as smart as she thinks she
is. Even Enid thinks Liz is guilty despite Liz insisting she's never
even met Rick and definitely wasn't arrested for anything. Enid
tells her that they can still be friends but apparently Ronnie isn't
so sure he wants to be associated with anyone who is associated with
Liz. This makes Enid unsure of whether she should continue to
support her troubled friend.
These people are all assholes.
Liz finally gets a clue and confronts
Jess after school. Jess manages to deflect the entire conversation
because she's in a hysterical fit about Steven dating some girl named
Betsy. I guess Betsy is the town's least favorite drugged out ho and Jess is sure that
her entire life will be ruined if anyone at school finds out that
Steven is dating her.
Suddenly it's a new day and we're
crashing Enid's first date (?) with Ronnie. But it's okay because
Todd is also crashing the date. He's all mopey about Liz being a
delinquent and Ronnie brought him along to the beach to cheer him up.
Ronnie bags on Liz the entire time saying that she's awful and
untrustworthy and that no boy should ever date her. He says that if
a girl he liked did something like that, he would drop her
immediately and never forgive her. Not sure why she'd need his
forgiveness but whatevs. Enid tries to defend her friend but she
also doesn't believe Liz is innocent so it's very wishy-washy at
best. Mostly she just frets that Ronnie might find out she was
arrested once but she doesn't bother to tell us that story because it's the plot for book 2. Todd
just mopes that Liz isn't who he thought she was.
The rumors continue to swirl at school
and everyone is treating Liz like actual garbage but she doesn't
bother to tell anyone that it was Jess because Liz is a martyr and she gets off on this stuff. Jess
doesn't think they need to clear anything up because a new scandal
has emerged. Apparently the lease the school held on the land where
the football field is located has expired. Both the Patmans and the
Fowlers want to buy it. The Patmans want to turn it into some kind
of a botanical garden and the Fowlers want to build a factory.
Apparently they've gotten some kind of injunction and now no one can
use the field. The team might not be able to play any more games this season.
Ken and Todd, as the reigning jocks of
the school, organize a rally. They decide to have a sit-in on the
field to protest. As they're all standing there working each other
up, Bruce and Lila wander by. The crowd turns on the two of them,
blaming them for the sins of their fathers. Bruce counters by
throwing major shade at Liz and it actually pricks Jess's conscience.
She decides to admit the truth to Todd. Todd thinks that Jess is
just trying to take the rap for Liz and decides that Jess is an
amazing person. He kisses her and asks her to the dance. Jess just
goes with it.
When Liz finds out about their PDA,
she's crushed. Winston feels bad for her and when Bruce shows up to
really rub it in, Winston white knights the fuck out of the situation
and asks Liz to the dance. She agrees to go with him as friends.
Back at home, Jess is on cloud nine
while Liz mopes. Steven comes in and he's pretty down as well. Jess
is furious that they aren't giving her the attention she deserves so
she dramatically flings herself about and declares that their father
is definitely having an affair despite her having no actual proof of
this. It pisses Steven off and he yells at her for not having more
faith in their father. Jess angrily tells him that he's just like
their dad with his skanky drug ho. Steven reaches apoplectic levels
of mad and asks her what she's talking about. Jess starts to
hysterically cry that no one knows how fucking hard her life is and
they're all just a bunch of bullies. Martyr Liz rushes to her
defense and tells Steven that they know he's seeing Betsy. Steven
corrects them. He was seeing Betsy's sister Tricia who is much more
appropriate but she's broken up with him because he refused to be
seen with her in public.
Someone should just torch the entire
fucking house with everyone in it. They're all awful.
We skip to the night before the big
dance. Jess has just found out that Liz is going with Winston and
it's led to some major screeching about how Liz must be out of her
mind. Liz just calmly says that she and Winston are going as friends
and she plans to enjoy herself.
After that completely pointless scene,
we skip to the night of the dance. Todd arrives to pick up Jess
about 30 seconds before Winston arrives to pick up Liz. The two guys
make awkward small talk while they wait for the girls to come down.
Liz arrives first in a white strapless dress that looks sensational
on her. Winston makes a big deal about her being the most beautiful
girl in the world which makes Liz laugh. Todd seems pretty pissed
about it though. Winston and Liz take off and then Jess makes her
entrance in a slinky blue dress. Todd tells her she looks pretty and
Jess is disappointed that he doesn't go into raptures like Winston
did for her sister.
At the dance, Jess and Todd “really
started getting into the music in a very sexy way” whatever the
fuck that means but then he catches sight of Liz and his attention
stays locked on her for the rest of the night. Jess is fuming. She
tries everything to get him to pay attention to her but he only has
eyes for Liz. She vows revenge.
After the dance, Jess comes in to talk
to Liz. She collapses on Liz's bed sobbing and tells this story
about how she had to fight off Todd and he wasn't taking no for an
answer. She tells Liz that she was begging him to stop as he put his
hands all over her. Liz is horrified.
We spend a chapter with Steven. He
realizes he was awful to Tricia and goes to apologize. Tricia
accepts his apology and they make a date for later. After he takes
her home, he realizes his father's car is in front of him so he
starts to tail his dad. Turns out his dad is going to Marianna's
house late at night. Steven is sure this proves the affair Jess was
talking about.
Over the next week, Todd tries very
hard to talk to Liz. She does everything she can to ignore him
thinking he assaulted her sister. Finally he calls. He tells her
that he's spent a lot of time thinking about it and he thinks he can
forgive her if she agrees never to see Rick again. He makes it sound
like it's an immense sacrifice for him and he's doing her a massive favor. Liz gets angry and says he
has a lot of nerve judging her for something she never even did when
he's much more problematic. He has no idea what she's talking about
and tells her that she's making him angry and she should stop having
opinions if she wants to date him. She tells him she never wants to
talk to him again and she hangs up.
Liz goes to cover the hearing with the
Patmans, Fowlers and the school board. She's surprised to see that
Marianna is handling all the speaking instead of her father. All
three sides make impassioned arguments but the judge sides with the
school board. SVH will keep its football field. When she gets home,
Alice announces that they're having a guest for dinner and Liz is
dismayed to hear it's Marianna. She's convinced her father is going
to reveal his affair to the entire family over dinner.
He doesn't. You know, because he's not
actually having an affair. They're just colleagues and the twins are
idiots.
We skip ahead a chunk of time. A week
maybe? Liz is trying to tell herself that she hates Todd but it
isn't working. One night they go to the Dairi Burger and Todd is
there with some friends. Liz and Jess decide to leave but as they're
getting into the car, Rick jumps in. He hijacks the car, doing
donuts in the parking lot and almost killing a bunch of their
friends. Todd sees it through the window and sees the terror on
Liz's face. He runs out to get into his own car.
Rick is drunk and he drives recklessly
toward that biker bar, intending to get some kind of revenge on the
bartender who pressed charges against him. The twins are terrified
but can do nothing to stop him. When they get to the bar, Rick grabs
both of them, intending to drag them inside but Todd arrives to save
the day. He and Rick get into a fight in the parking lot and Todd
wins because of course he does (even though it makes no real sense
that he'd be able to kick Rick's ass). Liz is so thankful she kisses
him.
Todd follows them back home and then he
and Liz talk. She tells him it was Jess who went with Rick to the
bar and he finally believes her. Then she confronts him about
assaulting Jess and he tells her that it never happened. She
believes him because she knows her sister. They end up making out
and I guess all's well that ends well. I guess. I mean, he's awful
and controlling and he didn't believe her when he should have but I
guess that's all fine.
Liz confronts Jess and Jess very
masterfully turns it all around to make it sound as if Jess was just
trying to protect Liz. Liz actually seems to buy it. Then Jess says
she only let everyone believe Liz got arrested because if anyone knew
it was her, Jess would have been kicked off the cheerleading team.
She says she knew Liz would want to help her and Liz reluctantly
admits that's probably true. Liz forgives her but decides she needs
to get even.....just a little.
At a student rally, Liz pretends to be
Jess and then turns “Liz” in as the Eyes and Ears columnist. The
student body descends to throw her in the pool. Jess tries to tell
them who she is but Todd sinks that by calling her Liz. Jess is
thrown into the pool.
The book ends by setting up the next
one. Enid arrives at Liz's door in tears. She says she's done
something awful and Ronnie is never going to forgive her for it.
So we survived our first dip into the
shark infested waters of Sweet Valley. Did you escape with all your
toes? Remember, you can lead a normal life with just 7 or 8 of them.
