Brokenhearted (SVH #58) by Francine Pascal

 **This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.

NOTE: I am very aware that these books were written by ghost writers but since Pascal put her name on the cover, I'm holding her solely responsible for everything that happens on these pages.

Tag Line: Who is Elizabeth’s true love?

From the Back of the Book: When Todd Wilkins moved to Vermont, Elizabeth Wakefield’s heart was broken. She thought that she would never get over losing him. But after months passed, Elizabeth fell in love again. Now she and Jeffrey French are one of the happiest couples at Sweet Valley High. Then Todd writes to Elizabeth and tells her that he is moving back to Sweet Valley and that he still cares for her. Although she loves Jeffrey, Elizabeth realizes she still has strong feelings for Todd. Suddenly she is faced with a very difficult choice – a choice between the only two boys she has ever loved. What will Elizabeth do?

Meet the Cast

*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.

*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies

*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer

*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer

*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole

*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type

*Todd Wilkins – To be determined.

*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money

*DisgustingBruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money

*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd

*Jeffrey French – To be determined.

There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.

This book was published in 1989 and this is my first time reading it. You know, I have no idea who that is on the cover? Is it supposed to be Jeffrey? Todd? Either way, it looks dumb.  The models look like siblings.  We're having a real Flowers in the Attic moment here.

{{{Note from future me: Todd is described later in the book as having dark hair so I guess this is Jeffrey.}}}

In the last book, Jess built a lie detector so she could prove Lila was lying about her father’s famous girlfriend (she wasn’t). Oh, and Olivia developed a crush on her art teacher. Said art teacher bordered on creepy and I did not enjoy my reading experience.

Missing, Presumed Dead: KirktheJerk, Jade and Roger remain buried deep under the Wakefield Compound. At this point I’m going to take them off the milk cartons because I suspect they are gone forever. Unfortunately Prince Albert was also kept below ground. Not one of those Wakefield bastards thought to bring him along when they made their escape. I’ve also just realized that we haven’t seen Recorder in a few books. I guess he ended up in the dungeon as well.

Escaped From the Wakefield Compound: EvilNed, VileAlice and CreepySteven unfortunately made their great escape. None of them brought the dog.

#freethedogorweriot

We start with Liz tossing and turning in bed because of the news that Todd is returning to Sweet Valley. We get a recap of all their “special times” and then a recap of when Todd moved to Vermont and he and Liz failed at having a long distance relationship. Liz tells us that he’s not dating Suzanne anymore. I kind of forgot that was a thing.

Liz still hasn’t said anything to Jeffrey about Todd's reemergence. He’s been away visiting relatives so he hasn’t heard the gossip yet but she knows it won’t take long for word to reach him. She agonizes over how to tell him and whether she wants to date him or Todd. She doesn’t think her feelings for Jeffrey have ever been as strong as her feelings for the douchebag. I mean Todd.

I love how she’s just assuming that Todd will want to date her when he gets back.

We skip to the twin descriptions and I’ll spare you the love poem to their physical beauty. In this one, Liz is called the twin that prepares for the future while Jess is the twin who lives for the moment.

That was less inaccurate than usual. Do we have a new ghostie filling in?

Jess comes in and asks Liz what she’s going to do about Todd because Jess also assumes Todd wants Liz back. Liz says she doesn’t know. Jess suggests Todd and Jeffrey duel for Liz's affection.

I could be on board with that.

Liz thinks it’s odd that Todd never wrote to her to tell her he was moving back. Most people would take that as a possible sign that he’s not interested in a reconciliation but not our confident queen.

We skip ahead an hour or two. Liz breaks the news of Todd’s return to Jeffrey before school. He’s clearly shocked but he tries to recover. He says he looks forward to finally meeting Todd because everyone has such nice things to say about him. I don’t. He’s clearly upset but trying to hide it. Liz can tell that he wants some kind of reassurance from her that they’ll stay together but she can’t give it to him because she doesn’t know what she’ll do.

Liz is the worst.  The fact that she's even considering getting back with Todd means it's time to break up with Jeffrey.  He deserves better.

And Todd deserves Liz.  I say that with absolute malice.

We skip ahead a couple of days. Liz goes to the Dairi Burger after school with Enid hoping to trauma dump all over her but they run into Jess, Ken, Lila, Aaron and Jeffrey. Lila is telling the entire table about Todd’s dad being made the president of some tech company. He’s going to be super rich now and they’ve bought a mansion just down the road from her house. Liz can’t picture Todd living in a mansion.

Sounds like Lila got a letter from Todd.  We know Winston did as well.  Interesting.

Ken says he got a letter from Todd saying that he’s not going to be returning to Sweet Valley High. Now that they’re rich, his parents have enrolled him in some private prep school. Liz is hurt that Todd’s apparently written letters to everyone but her. She goes off on a panic spiral that Todd will be more popular now that he’s rich and she might have competition for his time and attention.

Liz makes me tired.

We’re in Jeffrey’s head. He’s very anxious about Todd coming back and taking Liz away from him. He considers that a loss but I consider it a blessing. He can tell that Liz is conflicted and that makes him even more anxious. When Liz and Enid leave, he asks Ken and Aaron what kind of guy Todd is. Ken starts singing his praises but Aaron shrugs and says Todd is just a regular guy.

He pronounced 'douchebag' wrong.

We’re back with Liz. She gets home from school on Friday to find a letter from Todd. It’s clear it was written quite awhile ago but it got hung up in the mail somewhere. He writes about how excited he is to be coming back to Sweet Valley. He tells her that he still cares about her and he’d like to start dating her again but he knows she’s seeing someone.

Clearly that’s not going to deter him much.

I hate Todd.

We get endless pages of Liz talking to Enid about her Big Choice and taking to Jess about her Big Choice and Taking to herself about her Big Choice.

Haven’t had to use that one in awhile.

Jess encourages Liz to choose Todd because she really wants to meet a rich private school boy.

We skip to Sunday. Todd comes over to the compound as soon as his feet touch Sweet Valley soil. Liz puts on a locket he gave her with his picture in it so RIP Jeffrey I guess. Todd is excited to see the locket and they hug. He makes his intentions to win her back pretty clear and they almost kiss.

These are not nice people and they deserve each other.

We skip ahead a few days. Todd comes to dinner at the compound at the invitation of EvilNed and VileAlice who have apparently missed him. Jeffrey is really hurt about it and I can’t blame him.

Jess pumps Todd for details about his new private prep school. Todd tells them all about the amazing campus and all the rich people things he now has access too. Liz frets that she’ll never be able to fit into his new life.

Seriously?

Liz, you’re fucking rich too. You live in a massive house with an in-ground pool and you have every advantage you could possibly need. Miss me with this ‘I’m just a poor girl in love with a rich boy’ bullshit.

Later Todd tells Liz that he’ll wait for her to figure out whether she wants to date him or stay with Jeffrey. He just needs some kind of sign from her that there’s hope. She implies that there is without actually saying anything definitive.

Liz dithers some more about her Big Choice. I want to smack her. With a shovel.

We skip to Friday. Jeffrey brings Liz flowers and takes her to the Valley Inn for a romantic date. He’s trying very hard here to hold onto something that isn’t good for him in the first place. He’s an absolute mess thinking of losing her.

We skip ahead again to some party that Winston is having. People are gathered around taking bets on who Liz will choose. We see Hugh at this party. I almost forgot he existed. He’s Enid’s boyfriend, by the way, in case you also almost forgot he existed.

Todd and Jeffrey have a very awkward first meeting while Liz stands there and looks miserable. Todd seems uneasy and Jeffrey seems terrified.

Is this over? I want this to be over. Where do we stand on that whole quitting the blog thing?

No?

Sigh.

We skip ahead to Thursday. I can’t believe how quickly we’re flying through the days. You know, with the amount of calendar skipping we do in these books, the twins should be 35 by now. Anyway, Jess convinces Todd and she and Liz absolutely need a tour of his new school and he’s happy to oblige. Liz is intimidated by the place. She’s heard rumors from Lila that Todd has been seen at the country club playing tennis with a classmate named Courtney several times.

Another name for the spreadsheet. Sigh.

So when I went to add her, I realized we’ve encountered a Courtney before. She was the daughter of one of Bruce’s dad’s friends. We met her in that super edition where they went on the bike trip and she spent her time flirting with Todd. I thought for a minute it might be the same girl but Liz is acting like they’ve never met so it must be a different Courtney who is rich and flirts with Todd. Seriously, Pascal?

Todd introduces them to another spreadsheet addition named Sheffield. Jess flirts with him pretty heavily and he seems receptive. A beautiful girl comes up and Liz realizes that it’s the Courtney that Todd’s been playing tennis with. Apparently he’s also escorted her to several rich people events as a favor to his father (his dad works with her dad). Liz thinks that Todd belongs to Courtney and the school now and she could never compete. Todd seems to sense her discomfort and he reassures her that he hasn’t changed and he’s the same douchebag he was before his dad got rich. They almost kiss again.

Later Jess advises Liz to do what’s best for her and to put her feelings first. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Liz was going to do anyway. It’s all she ever does.

We skip ahead to Saturday. Liz talks to VileAlice about her Big Choice and VileAlice basically says that everything will become clear in time. Liz just has to wait it out.

That's not helpful but I'm not surprised.

Lila, Cara and Enid come over to use the pool. Lila is full of news about a party Todd is having to show off his new house. She says that he asked Courtney to be his date and she’s going to act as co-host. Liz is crushed.

Stupidly, we’re in Courtney’s head. She’s at the school getting ready to ride one of the horses that apparently live there and are available to the students. She thinks to herself that Lila has been very useful in her quest to get Todd from Liz. Courtney is sure that Todd really wants to be with her deep down and she just has to remove the distraction of his ex-girlfriend.

As she’s riding, Courtney comes across Sheffield playing tennis with his brother. She stops to talk to him – telling him that she’s worried Todd is going to get hurt when he finds out that Liz has no intention of leaving Jeffrey. She says that she heard from a Wakefield family friend that Jeffrey gave Liz a promise ring.  She's hoping Sheffield will run right over to Todd to relay this completely made up information.

Now we’re in Todd’s head. Sheffield finds him and tells him about the promise ring just like Courtney had hoped. Todd is devastated. He decides he needs to step aside and admit defeat. He was hoping Liz might be his date for his party but since that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, he decides to ask Courtney. It will make his father happy at least.

We’re with Jess. She goes on a date with Sheffield who seems very nice but she finds him boring.

We skip head several days and now we’re in Liz’s head. She gets the invite to Todd’s party and it’s addressed to “Elizabeth Wakefield and friend”. She assumes this means Todd doesn’t want her back anymore because he’s encouraging her to date Jeffrey.

Or maybe he figured you’d bring your actual boyfriend that you haven’t bothered to break up with to the party, Liz.

Liz finally admits to herself that she loves Todd and she’d rather be with him than Jeffrey. But since she thinks Todd doesn’t want her anymore, she doesn’t break it off with poor Jeffrey.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

We skip ahead to the day of the party. We’re hopping back and forth between Liz and Jeffrey and it’s really annoying. He feels physically sick because he can tell she doesn’t really want to be with him. He’s heard the rumors about Todd and Courtney and he thinks Liz is only with him because she can’t have Todd.

Jeffrey is perceptive.

Hang in there, buddy. Maybe Enid will break up with Hugh who barely exists and then she can buy a wagon full of canned peaches to repurchase you. It worked once before after all.

We see most of the cast at the party, including CreepySteven who emerged from the basement of the compound in order to dance with his underage girlfriend. He’s not the only fully adult man at the party dancing with an underage girl. Lila is there with someone named Drake who is way too old for her.

At some point in the evening, Jeffrey witnesses Courtney slip a piece of paper into Liz’s unattended jacket pocket. Liz is in the bathroom so Jeffrey follows Courtney to see what she’s up to. He does not, however, remove the piece of paper from Liz’s coat. Courtney approaches Todd and claims to have a horrible headache. She asks him to take her to the gazebo where it will be more quiet. Todd agrees to walk her out there. Jeffrey follows.

We slide over to Jess. She’s enjoying showing Sheffield off to all her friends. They seem impressed by him….or at least by his money. Somehow the topic gets turned around to his senior class project and Jess is dismayed when he says he’ll be living and working in a homeless shelter for the entirety of his senior year. He’s also going to sell his Mercedes and donate the money.

I like Sheffield. I assume this is his last appearance in the Sweet Valley universe and I’m grateful for that. He’s too good for this series.

Back to Liz. She finds the note in her jacket pocket.  It appears it's from Todd asking Liz to meet him in the gazebo. She thinks it’s weird that it’s printed instead of written in cursive because apparently Todd is a cursive boy. She’s too excited to question it much and she rushes out the door.

How does she know where the gazebo is?

We’re with Todd. He ends up half carrying Courtney to the gazebo after she fakes an ankle injury. She clings to him when he tries to leave her there and then she forces a kiss on him.

Not cool, Courtney.  He's a douchebag but consent still matters.

We’re with Liz. She sees Todd and Courtney kissing as she’s meant to. She starts crying and runs off.

Now we’re with Jeffrey. He watches Liz’s dramatic reaction and realizes that she still loves Todd. He finds the note on the ground where Liz dropped it and figures out what happened. He knows he can keep his mouth shut and he won’t lose Liz but he wants her to be happy even if it’s not with him. He goes to talk to Todd.

Jeffrey has always been too good for Liz. Which isn’t hard. Be free, Jeffrey. Be happy.

Maybe you should move to Vermont.

Or start dating Annie.  We haven't seen her in like a hundred years at this point.  I'm pretty sure Pascal forgot she exists.

Liz drives away from the party and ends up at Secca Lake. There’s an abandoned boathouse where she and Todd used to make out so she heads for that. She realizes she needs to break up with Jeffrey because she “can’t give him her whole heart” anymore. As she’s sitting out there sobbing, she hears a car. It’s Todd. They run into each other’s arms.

Todd explains the whole gazebo incident to her. Liz realizes that Jeffrey sacrificed his own happiness for hers. Todd and Liz make out for awhile and then head back to the party so she can talk to Jeffrey.

The book just fucking ends there. I guess the next one will pick up where this left off? I hope? I can’t believe Pascal cheated us out of an ending. She made us slog through a hundred plus pages of Liz going back and forth between the boy we all knew she was going to pick and the boy who was too good for her anyway and she didn’t even give us a resolution.

I hate Pascal.

Coming Up Next: I don’t fucking know. It’s called “In Love Again”.

Teacher Crush (SVH #57) by Francine Pascal*

 **This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.

*NOTE: I am very aware that these books were written by ghost writers but since Pascal put her name on the cover, I'm holding her solely responsible for everything that happens on these pages.

Tag Line: Has Olivia met the man of her dreams?

From the Back of the Book: Madly in love… Pretty and talented Olivia Davidson has always seemed independent. So it comes as a total surprise to Elizabeth Wakefield when Olivia confides in her that she’s lonely. Everyone she knows is going out with someone, and now she’s ready for a new boyfriend. Then Stuart Bachman, a gorgeous artist, starts teaching at Sweet Valley High. Olivia takes his class and is completely swept off her feet by him. Soon Mr Bachman is all Olivia thinks or talks about. And it looks as if he may return her feelings. Has Olivia found true love, or is she headed for a heartbreak?

Um….two things. One, that description makes me feel very, very icky. Two, it wasn’t included on the Goodreads or the Amazon listing. Here’s what the Goodreads listing says: “Elizabeth Wakefield is surprised and worried when her friend, the pretty and talented Olivia Davidson, develops a crush on the handsome new art teacher.” The Amazon listing is slightly different but still cuts out all mention of the teacher returning her feelings. I had to go to ebay and search for a seller that had a picture of the back of the book in order to find what was actually written on it at the time of publication. Maybe it’s just because the book is old and Amazon and Goodreads didn’t get the blurb info but I kind of wonder if they changed it on purpose because it sounds so bad.

📢TRIGGER WARNING📢: The art teacher in this gives off creepy vibes. While he technically didn’t do anything that I would call illegal, he did act inappropriately several times and just generally made me uncomfy. If questionable student/teacher relationships are a trigger for you, please don’t read this one.

Meet the Cast

*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.

*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies

*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer

*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer

*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole

*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type

*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont

*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money

*DisgustingBruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money

*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd

*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest

There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.

This book was published in 1989 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is pretty benign. The cover model is way too old as usual but at least they didn’t depict her cuddled up to a teacher.

In the last book, Jess and Winston were lost at sea and marooned on an island for about 30 hours due to horrific negligence on behalf of Sweet Valley High. Seriously, if I were their parents I’d sue. They learned there’s more to each other than they thought and had an illogical bear encounter. That’s twice for Jess if you’re keeping track. I’m not sure Pascal is.

Missing, Presumed Dead: Kirkthejerk, Jade and Roger remain hidden under the Wakefield Compound.  Most of the Wakefield clan joined them this time as VileAlice, EvilNed and CreepySteven made zero appearances in this book.  Unfortunately poor Prince Albert also got trapped down there.  This better only be temporary, Pascal.  #freethedogorweriot

Escaped From the Wakefield Dungeon: No one.  The locks held tight this time.

At the end of the last book we learned that Sweet Valley High was going to start offering micro-courses in a variety of topics and that’s where this book starts. Jess is super excited about the idea because math class will be shortened by five minutes and the micro-courses won’t be graded. Lila says she’s signing up for a dress designing course. Liz asks Enid what she wants to sign up for and Enid says she’s picked painting. Jeffrey is signing up for electronics. Jess is considering filmmaking.

Lila tells the lunch table that her dad is dating a soap opera star named Anika and Jess is instantly annoyed. She hates that Lila has such a charmed life as the daughter of one of SV’s richest men. She tells Lila to get an autographed picture or it didn’t happen. Lila says she doesn’t have to prove shit to Jess. It looks like they’re fighting again.  I really can't keep up on whether they like each other or hate each other.

I guess I have to add Anika to the spreadsheet since she got named. Pascal really needs to stop adding characters.

The topic turns back to the micro-courses which I’m already tired of typing out. From now on, they’re MCs. Liz explains how it all works. Every class (not just math) and lunch will be reduced by 5 minutes as well as extending the school day by 10 minutes to allow for 50 minutes of instruction in the MCs. The courses will last for two weeks. The students are to submit their first, second, third and fourth choices and then classes will be formed. Jess puts filmmaking as first choice, pottery as second, electronics as third because it will be full of boys and dress design as fourth.

Ghostie pauses to tell us how physically perfect the twins are (golden tans, silky hair and ocean eyes). Liz is called “serious and hardworking”. One of those might be true if you squint. Jess is called “social” and a person who thrives on excitement. Both of those are accurate. Again, ghostie gets a 50% for knowing the characters they’ve been paid to write about.

We skip ahead a few hours. Jeffrey and Liz are in the Oracle office being annoying as usual with their dry toast PDA. I’m sure Pascal thinks they have amazing chemistry and every interaction is romantic but they just read like two children pretending to be in love while playing house together. Olivia comes in and says she’s hoping the MCs inspire some people to be more artsy. Liz asks her what she signed up for and Olivia says painting was her first choice.

Jeffrey has to leave to take some pictures for the paper so he kisses Liz on the cheek and takes off. This seems to irritate Olivia who snaps that Liz is lucky to have a boyfriend.

I think so too. Liz is awful and I can’t believe any guy would want to spend his free time with her.

Olivia moans about not dating anyone since she and Roger broke up. I can’t even remember why they broke up. Was she being clingy or something? I should add some of this to my spreadsheet. Liz tells her that she can be happy without a man and Olivia asks her how she would know. Liz moved on with Jeffrey super fast after Todd left. Liz sniffs and says, yes, she’s always had a boyfriend but she still considers herself an independent woman. Olivia says wants a boyfriend because she’s lonely and Liz gets super judgmental about it. She tells her that you can still feel lonely even with a boyfriend and it’s “nuts to think that having a boyfriend will make all your troubles vanish”.

Nice, Liz. Very sensitive.  You're a true friend.

Olivia says that everyone seems paired up and she feels out of place. Liz can’t believe that Olivia is upset about this because she’s “pretty and talented” and apparently that cancels out the basic human need for companionship that some of the population feels.

Pretty solves all problems.✅  Boyfriends don’t.❎  Got it, Liz. Thank you.

We skip to Monday. Liz gossips about Olivia with Enid on the way to school. Liz continues to be judgmental and dismissive of Olivia’s feelings but Enid steps in to defend her saying that it’s natural for Olivia to want to date someone. Then she says “And I don’t blame her for feeling a twinge of jealousy about you and Jeffrey. You two are such a perfect couple.”  Who the hell said Olivia was jealous of Liz and Jeffrey? 

You know the only reason those two sentences were in this book was to foreshadow about Todd coming back.  I can't believe they couldn't find a better way to do that.

What am I saying?  Yes, I can.  They never find a natural way to foreshadow anything in these books.

Olivia meets them in the parking lot for some reason. They watch as Bill/DeeDee and Maria/Winston walk into the school. Olivia wonders if everyone is signing up for the MCs in couples. Liz triumphantly says that she didn’t as if this proves she’s not like the other girls or something. Olivia hurries away when Jeffrey approaches. Liz thinks to herself that Olivia is just “needy” and dismisses her feelings again.

Liz sucks. I will die on that hill.

We hop over to Jess who is in the crowd of people trying to see what MC they’ve been assigned to. Lila got dress designing like she wanted. Winston and Jeffrey got electronics. Enid, Liz and Olivia got painting. Cara got pottery. Maria got nutrition and fitness. Jess ended up with electronics and she’s bummed when she scans the list and realizes none of the guys signed up for it are hot.

How did everyone end up with their first choice except Jess?  That seems....targeted.

Questionable Mr Collins has an assembly that morning to kick off the program. He tells everyone that they will be responsible for a project that will be presented during a fair on the last day. He introduces the teachers and I don’t really care. The painting teacher is Stuart Bachman, a local artist. He’s hot and all the girls perk up.

Lila teases Jess about having to take electronics to the point where even I want to smack her. Jess is getting more and more pissed about it. She tries to think of something she can do to “put her friend in her place”.

We skip over the rest of the day and land in Liz’s head just in time for the painting workshop to begin. Olivia is clearly already crushing on Bachman. When he comes in, he instructs all the students to call him by his first name. He says it’s his only rule. I refuse.

Teachers who do this are removing one of the social cues that remind students that they are not peers. I’m not saying it’s always (or even often) grooming but I am saying that I don’t think it should be allowed in middle school or high school settings. Teenagers need to remember that their teachers are not potential partners and calling them by their first name blurs this distinction.

Anyway.

Bachman says he works as a graphic artist because painting doesn’t pay the bills. All of the students – particularly the girls – are hanging on his every word. Olivia can’t take her eyes off him.

We hop over to Jess in electronics class. The teacher asks them if they have any ideas for their projects. Jeffrey says he wants to write a computer game. I mean….I guess he can do it in two weeks if it’s super simple but, to my knowledge, he has no prior coding experience. Randy (we have a rare back-to-back book appearance for a satellite character!) wants to build a robot calculator. He doesn’t expand on that and I have no idea what he means. Jess clearly has no idea what she wants to do.

We finally step away from the twins and land in Olivia’s head. They’ve been assigned to paint the color green without using green. She’s done a garden in blues and browns. Bachman praises her work. He leans in close and murmurs to her that he’d be happy to give her one-on-one instruction whenever she wants it.

I did not like that.

Maybe this is just a me thing because I have experience with a teacher who used to lean close to girls in order to look down their shirts, but I don’t think a teacher has any business leaning into a student and murmuring to them. That’s creepy.

Olivia is all sweaty palms and butterflies because Bachman repeatedly singles her out and gives her extra attention. She feels like they have a “real connection”. She decides she’s “madly in love” with him by the end of their first class.

Girl, you don’t even know if he picks up his socks or if he’s nice to waitstaff. Calm down.

We’re back with Jess. It’s suddenly Wednesday and she’s at lunch listening to Lila brag about her dad dating Anika again. Jess finds it annoying. They get distracted by Olivia who shows up dressed completely out of character. I don’t know if you remember from way back in the book where Olivia was introduced, but she typically dresses like a hippie – long flowing skirts, lots of colors, beaded jewelry. You get the vibe. Today she’s wearing a tight black dress, boots and a leather jacket. Jess approves but is confused. Olivia doesn’t stop to eat. She says she’s on her way to talk to Bachman about one of her paintings.

Why is he there at lunch time when the class isn’t until the end of the day?

Back with Olivia. She finds Bachman painting in the room he uses to teach the MC. I still don’t understand why he’s there. Doesn’t the art teacher use that classroom during normal school hours? Olivia watches him for a few minutes before letting him know she’s there. He doesn’t notice her new look and she’s disappointed even though this man has literally NO IDEA what she normally looks like. He’s known her for two days. For all he knows, she dresses like this every Wednesday.

They make small talk about his career and where he finds inspiration. Olivia is smitten and finds him easy to talk to. He again offers her one-on-one time because he thinks she’s “going to do something great in this class”. Then he winks at her.

I did not like that.

Olivia interprets the wink as him saying he loves her too. She’s over the moon.

Yikes.

This will be the only time I ever say ‘thank goodness we’re back with Liz’. Enid comes up to her before the painting MC and tells her to watch how Olivia acts around Bachman. She thinks something inappropriate might be going on. Liz dismisses her entirely and says she’s just being silly. Olivia runs up and rushes them into the classroom because she doesn’t want to miss one second of her time with the teacher. She says something about Bachman being adorable and Enid retorts that he’s too old for them to think about him that way. Olivia says that he’s only 24ish and Enid repeats that he’s too old for them.

Bachman singles Olivia out in class again, asking her to discuss her favorite artist. Luckily she’s prepared. She’s read every local article ever written on Bachman and she knows his favorite artist. She claims that artist is her favorite too in order to show him how much they have in common.

Liz watches all their interactions and concludes that it’s only natural for Olivia to enjoy Bachman’s attention and there’s nothing to be alarmed about. Enid tries to wave the red flag again but Liz actually snaps at her to stop being so dramatic.

Enid needs a better friend. Liz is toxic.

Olivia offers to stay after class and help Bachman clean up. He tells her that she’d make a great apprentice. Liz thinks Olivia is just trying to be serious about painting because Liz is an idiot.

We slide over to Jess. She’s been assigned to be Randy’s lab partner in the electronics MC. Jess isn’t mad about it. She figures she can flirt with him and get him to help her figure out her project.  It worked before, after all.

Back with Olivia and now it’s Thursday. She volunteers to leave class early in order to help Bachman set up the easels for class. Can’t he do that while he’s hanging around the school for hours for absolutely no reason? He tells her to show up half an hour early and she’s thrilled to spend the time alone with him. He should not be encouraging this.

Olivia has obtained Bachman’s home address from an alumni catalog (one of the articles mentioned where he went to college and she tracked down the alumni information from that). She’s also cut out pictures of him from the interviews and she’s hung them all over her bedroom walls. She thinks their age gap is romantic.

Liz comes up to her and asks her about her arts column for the Oracle. Olivia is so caught up in her imaginary love story with Bachman that she completely forgot to write anything for the paper. Liz tells her to talk to Penny about it. Olivia says she will but she doesn’t. It’s never really mentioned again so I have no idea what they did.

We’re back with Liz. NOW she’s concerned. It didn’t matter until the Oracle was involved but now it’s on her radar. Other students have noticed that Olivia is getting extra attention from Bachman and everyone is talking about it. They blame her for monopolizing the teacher and taking time away from them. Caroline seems particularly bitter about it. Liz tries to defend Olivia by saying she’s just excited about painting. What she should be doing is pointing out that this is on Bachman. He could ignore Olivia or set boundaries for her but he encourages her instead. I think he likes the attention and that’s pretty gross.

Olivia follows Bachman around, volunteering to clean his brushes and mop the floor. He soaks it all up. She’s clearly obsessed and he does nothing to discourage her.

We slide over to Jess. It’s Friday all of a sudden and even Amy won’t shut up about Lila’s dad and Anika. Jess is at the end of her rope with this. She still thinks Lila is making it all up. She decides to make a lie detector for her MC project.

We’re back with Olivia. Bachman announces that the school will be open on Saturday and Sunday for any student who wants to work on their MC project. It doesn’t sound like he (or any of the teachers) will be there so I’m not sure who is supervising the students. This sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Olivia sees a flier on his desk about an alumni presentation at the Riverside Art Academy. He says he’s going to be a speaker. He offers to take her so she can meet some of the people at the school since she’s considering going there. She takes that as a declaration of his love. She knows he can’t admit anything to her while the MC is going on, so she can’t wait for it to be over so they can be together.

Olivia is crushed at the idea of not seeing Bachman for two whole days so she drives to his apartment complex on Saturday. She’s been driving by all week but this time she parks across the street. She watches his building for awhile and then gets out and approaches the door. There’s a buzzer system so she finds his name and presses the button. When he answers, she realizes she’s woken him up. She asks if she can borrow an art book to use as inspiration for his project. He should have told her to go to the library or a bookstore or something but instead tells her to give him a minute to get dressed and then she can come up for coffee.

What the hell is wrong with this man?

Bachman lets her look through his art books and then he brings her a cup of coffee and shows her some sketches of earrings he’s working on. He asks her if she’d wear them and she thinks he must be designing them for her.

Yes, she’s delusional but his behavior isn’t helping. He’s feeding into it because he seems to like the attention.

She stays for half an hour. It’s very uncomfy.

Jess flirts with Randy to get his help on her project. You’d think he would have learned his lesson the last time this happened but he didn’t. Either that or he’s okay with being used.

We slide over to Liz. Enid is worried that Bachman might actually be interested in Olivia. Liz thinks she’s nuts. Enid insists that he’s encouraging Olivia’s adoration (and he totally is). During class Liz notices that Bachman pays WAY more attention to Olivia than to anyone else. She thinks he just admires Olivia’s talent.

{{{Note from future me: Pascal totally tries to play it off like Bachman was only paying so much attention to Olivia because he thought she was a young artist in the making and he wanted to nurture her gift. It did not come off that way to me. It came off as an older man who loved the attention he was getting from a young, pretty girl. He did nothing to set boundaries or discourage her crush on him. You will never convince me that he had 100% pure motives. I’m not saying he ever intended to cross the line with her, but I believe he got an ego boost from her crush and he encouraged it.}}}

Back with Olivia. She goes to that alumni thing with Bachman. While they’re mingling, she hears someone ask him where Monica is. He says she’s in LA for a few days. Olivia is curious but unconcerned.

Girl. He has a girlfriend. Come on.

Afterwards, Bachman asks her to go to some store to help him pick out a present for a “special friend”. He winks at her again as he says it so she thinks the present must be for her upcoming birthday. They go to the store. She points out a picture frame. He doesn’t buy it but he winks at her several more times during this shopping scene. I hate this guy.

Olivia goes home to work on her project. Later her mom says someone named Rod called for her. Rod is in her English class. I checked my spreadsheet and he’s never existed before. Sigh.

We skip to Tuesday. Olivia gets to school an hour early to work on her project. Rod runs up to her saying he has some ideas for changing some the Oracle’s graphics and fonts. He’s been in a print making MC and he’s learned some things. She asks if this can wait until the next week because she’s just too busy with her final project to give any thought to the paper. He agrees and then asks her if she wants to go to a movie with him that weekend. She’s convinced she and Bachman will be a couple by the weekend because the MCs end on Friday so she doesn’t really answer him. He gets embarrassed by the silence and says ‘never mind’ before walking away.

Later at lunch, Olivia tells Enid and Liz that she thinks Bachman is going to surprise her with something special for her birthday on Friday.

We’re with Jess now. It’s Wednesday and she’s working hard on her lie detector. That’s it. That’s all we get. I’m not sure what the point was.

We land back in Olivia’s head. She tells us she’s still driving by Bachman’s apartment every day in hopes of catching sight of him. Somehow she got his phone number and she calls his house from a payphone at least once a day just to hear his voice on the answering machine.

When she gets to school, Rod comes up with a layout he wants to submit for the Oracle. Olivia genuinely likes it. He asks her out again. I guess he wasn’t too traumatized by her soft rejection last time. She’s still convinced that she and Bachman will be a couple after Friday so she turns Rod down.

Bachman walks up and drops a flier for an art show he’s featured in. Olivia notices that it takes place on Friday and she’s disappointed that they won’t be able to go out for her birthday. He says he wants her to come to the show because there will be a surprise there for her. She happily accepts, assuming that he has some sort of birthday plan after all.

We’re back with Jess after school. Enid is over at the compound visiting Liz and Jess asks if they will test out her lie detector. It’s basically a thimble attached to a wire that’s attached to a pulse gauge. Jess puts the thimble on Enid’s finger to get a baseline and says her pulse is a normal 120/80.

Um.

Pascal, that’s not a pulse reading. That’s blood pressure and there’s no way she’s measuring that with a thimble. Come on.

Jess asks Enid some questions and her pulse goes up when she lies. Jess declares her project a success and plots how she can use it to embarrass Lila. Nothing else happens except Olivia’s mom calls and invites the twins to a surprise party for Olivia on Friday evening. No, it’s not at the art show. Whatever surprise Bachman has planned, this isn’t it.

Back with Olivia. She buys a silk jumpsuit to wear to the art show on Friday. As she’s coming out of the boutique, she sees Bachman go into the store next door. She hides and waits for him to come back out. When he does, he’s carrying a package that she assumes is a present for her.

Back with Jess. She’s shopping with Lila and Amy. Lila mentions the gossip about Bachman and Olivia being an item. Jess has already heard it from Caroline. She changes the subject and asks Lila how her final project is going. Lila says she’s royally fucked up the dress she was making and she has no idea what she’s going to do. She’s supposed to wear the thing at the fair on Friday. Jess feels smug because her project is a success and Lila’s is a failure.

Lila leaves Amy and Jess in the clothing store to go buy a zipper for her dress at the sewing supply shop. While she’s in there, she overhears Winston’s mom talking about the Wilkinson’s moving back to Sweet Valley.

Do they have to?

I hate Todd. I know Jeffrey isn’t perfect but he’s so much better than Todd.

Sigh.

Lila goes back to the clothing store where Amy reminds her that Jess has a dress that’s very similar to the one that Lila’s been trying to make for her MC. Lila brightens right up and asks Jess if she can borrow it and pass it off as her project. Jess says ‘no’ because she’s still pissed at Lila over the Anika thing. Lila says she has hot gossip that affects the Wakefield family and she’ll only tell Jess if she’s allowed to borrow the dress. Jess agrees. Lila doesn’t tell her right away because she's worried Jess will change her mind. They agree to make the exchange on Friday.

We skip directly to Friday afternoon and slide into Liz’s head. She and Enid are checking out the fair and looking at everyone’s final projects. They stop at the electronics area and watch as Jess hooks Lila up to her lie detector machine. Jess questions her about Anika and is stunned when the machine says Lila is telling the truth.

We’re back with Olivia. She goes to Bachman’s show after school, still expecting him to confess his love now that the MC is over. When she gets to the event, he’s standing with a woman and she’s wearing the earrings from that sketch he showed Olivia a few weeks ago. She’s crushed when she realizes that this is Monica and she and Bachman are dating.

Bachman shows her that he’s displayed her final project (along with some paintings by local college students) as part of his show. He tells her that several art critics have already commented on how good it is. Olivia is stunned to see her work hanging with the others. She feels pride in her talent even as she realizes that Bachman was never in love with her and it was all in her head.

Olivia goes home. The surprise party happens. Bachman and Monica are invited for some reason. I have no idea how her parents even knew he existed and no idea why they’d invite him. He’s the only adult there. It’s weird. Rod is there too and he gives Olivia a present. We don’t find out what it was.

Jess brings her lie detector for some reason. Lila asks her to test it out. Jess refuses but Ken forces it on her finger. Lila asks Jess if she made the lie detector all by herself. Jess says ‘yes’ but the machine says she’s lying. Jess makes Liz put it on. Lila steps up to ask Liz how she feels about Todd coming home. Liz freaks out and the book ends there.

This one was painful, y’all. I really think Bachman was inappropriate with Olivia and they definitely shouldn’t ask him back if the MCs continue.

Coming up Next: Todd’s back. Yippee.