**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: A devil in disguise...The Wakefield twins are wild with excitement. Glamourous, sophisticated Suzanne Devlin is coming to Sweet Valley from New York City. For two weeks, Elizabeth will show her around town while Jessica has the time of her life in New York. At first, Suzanne seems to be the most perfect girl in the world. She's beautiful and friendly and not the least bit stuck-up. All the boys of Sweet Valley are absolutely crazy about her. But when Suzanne accuses Mr Collins of trying to seduce her, Elizabeth knows there's more to Suzanne than meets the eye.
TRIGGER WARNING: As you can tell from the description, there is a false accusation of sexual assault in this book. There is also a very real sexual assault in this book that is not at all handled in any kind of way. I will be careful how I describe both, but please click away if it will harm you in any way.
This book was published in 1984 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is pretty boring and basic. Not much to say about it.
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*Ned Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*Alice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Ken Matthews – star quarterback and resident jock stereotype
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
In the last book, people slut-shamed Annie to the point where she did something drastic but then Jess saved the day by making her a cheerleader. We were also introduced to the plot for this book when the Wakefields announced that one of the girls would be allowed to go to New York City for a couple of weeks while a girl named Suzanne takes her place in SV.
We begin around the dinner table with the entire Wakefield clan. Jess is dramatically saying she'll simply waste away to nothing if she isn't chosen to go to NYC. She even threatens to bunk off college if she isn't allowed to go. I have no idea how Ned and Alice let her get away with this crap. They really do suck as parents. Jess envisions herself going to exclusive parties at disco clubs because Pascal still thought disco was a cool thing in 1984. She pictures herself meeting Mick Jagger and getting swept off her feet. Ew, Jess. Aim higher. Seriously.
After the Jagger fantasy she pictures herself walking through Tiffany's and the owner is so bowled over by her beauty that he gives her an expensive diamond and emerald necklace. Then she pictures herself getting discovered by a modeling agency and having her face on Cosmo. She really is taking a trip on the Delusional Express today.
Liz suggests that Ned flip a coin because there's really no fair way to decide. Steven and Alice both think that's a good idea so that becomes the plan. Pascal decides to lengthen the tension a bit by launching into a description of the twins. Sunshine blonde hair, dimples, blah, blah, blah. Liz is described as “fairness personified” which just tells me that Pascal doesn't know her own fucking characters AT ALL. Jess is described as “clever and devious” which feels a little more accurate. Anyway, Liz wins the coin toss and Jess spends the rest of the dinner sobbing into her potatoes.
Odds that Liz The Martyr will decide to let Jess go instead: 52%
Odds that Jess will perform some kind of trickery to go instead: 48%
Either way, Jess is definitely going to go to New York City. You know it and I know it.
Jess starts in on Liz right after dinner. She tells Liz not to worry about Todd because she's sure plenty of girls will be willing to keep him company while Liz is gone and then alludes to the fact that Lila has a big crush on him. Liz comments that she can tell that Jess is trying to talk her out of going and Jess takes that as victory, yelling to Ned and Alice that Liz said she could go instead. Liz does absolutely nothing to correct this misinformation.
So I guess both of those predictions ended up being right.
By the time the trip happens, Liz has talked herself into thinking she's happier staying home. She's planning to spend a lot of time with Todd and to write an article for the school paper about the class picnic. It's pretty riveting but at least she doesn't think she's going to get a free necklace from Tiffany's.
Jess leaves and the Wakefields wait for Suzanne to arrive. We're told that she enjoys lots of rich girl activities and that she's spent most of her life in boarding schools. Alice comments that she could never send her children away to school like that which is pretty hilarious since she never knows what the hell her kids are doing. Ever. Suzanne finally appears and she's described as stunningly beautiful with long, dark hair and violet-blue eyes. She speaks with a vaguely British accent which Liz attributes to all those years in European schools.
Suzanne appears nice at first and Liz likes her immediately. She's looking forward to playing hostess for awhile. Suzanne tells Liz about her boyfriend Pete but for some reason Liz is too shy to reciprocate and tell Suzanne about Todd. She tells Suzanne that she'll meet everyone at the picnic the next day. It's a really weird moment that I don't really understand. It feels like Pascal is trying to set up a scenario where Suzanne meets Todd but doesn't know who he is and hits on him. Surely not. We can't do another 'is Todd cheating on Liz' story. It's been done to death.
(((Note from future me: this actually goes nowhere. Pascal spent time setting up a scenario that would provide actual, believable conflict and then she didn't bother to use it. It was a complete waste of our time.)))
Pascal takes a hard right and suddenly starts talking about how Steven and Tricia are having issues in their relationship. It's completely out of the thin fucking blue and I have no idea why it's here. Liz tells us that Tricia has been upset since her father was arrested for hitting a pedestrian while intoxicated. He's out on bail now but Tricia seems sad every time Liz sees her. She wonders if that's why Tricia is pulling away from Steven and wonders why Tricia wouldn't want her boyfriend to comfort her at a time like this.
Well, that was weird.
We veer back into the main story. Liz and Suzanne change into bikinis and head down to the backyard pool. Liz tells us that Suzanne is so hot it makes her “self-conscious about her own lovely size-six figure”.
For fucks sake, Pascal. 💣💥😡
As they swim, Suzanne tells Liz that while Pete is incredibly in love with her, she's not so sure she wants to be tied down. She feels like her parents want her to marry Pete right after graduation so they won't have to deal with her anymore. She goes on to describe zipping around Manhattan in a convertible and skiing in Aspen. Liz ends up pretty jealous of Suzanne's fabulous life.
As if Liz isn't living a fabulous life of her own.
(((Blogger's Note: I'm not going to lie.....Suzanne is pretty indistinguishable from Jess. Pascal is writing her the exact same way. It's like she only knows how to write two kinds of characters – superficial and martyr. You could literally replace Suzanne's name with Jess's throughout this story and it would still make sense. It makes me wonder what the point of this book was.)))
We skip ahead to the picnic at the lake. Every guy in the vicinity is hitting on Suzanne including Bruce and Winston who we don't hear much from. Enid notes that Jess would be super jealous of all the attention Suzanne was getting and I'm kind of sorry she isn't there because that would probably have been entertaining at least. Liz thinks to herself that Enid is surprisingly attracting some attention as well even though she “wasn't stunning”. Wow, Liz. Way to be a bitch.
Mr Collins, the slightly inappropriate journalism teacher, is there to chaperon all the bikini-clad teens because of course he is. Suzanne seems super interested in him and Liz thinks that's okay because he's one of the best looking teachers at SVH. No, Liz. {{{swats her nose with a newspaper}}} Bad! I really hope Pascal isn't taking us down this disgusting path. PLEASE.
(((Blogger's Note: so clearly I don't read the back of the book before I start reading. 😆 My shameful secret has been accidentally revealed.)))
The kids eat and then play some volleyball before getting into the lake to cool off. Most of them stay by the shore to have a water fight but Suzanne swims out pretty far all on her own. Suddenly Liz realizes that Suzanne seems to be struggling and she alerts Mr Collins. He swims out to save the day and carries Suzanne back to shore. She cries that she was terrified and clings to his chest for comfort.
Fuck me.
Pascal, I begged you not to do this.
BEGGED!!!
Liz is so relieved that Suzanne is okay that she makes out with Todd in celebration. She's such a good friend, our Liz.
We hop over to Jessica for Chapter Four. She's home alone when someone knocks on the door. The guy is completely gorgeous so she invites him into the house even though she doesn't even know who he is.
Protagonist seriously needs to watch an episode of Dateline? Check.
Seriously, Jess has ZERO survival skills. Who lets a stranger into the house just because he's hot?
The guy introduces himself as Pete and says that 'Suzy' told him that Jess would be there. So this is the boyfriend I guess. Jess tells us that he keeps giving her 'sleepy, seductive looks' and I'm trying to picture what that would even look like but we all know I can't do that so I don't know why I keep trying. I Googled 'sleepy seductive' and this guy came up so I guess we'll go with that.
From this point forward, that guy ^ will BE Pete as far as I'm concerned.
Jess fills us in on her first two days. She and the Devlins took a rented limo back from the airport because Mrs D thinks that taxis are “dreadful contraptions driven by dreadful little men” which is just such a rich bitch thing to say. They went shopping on Fifth Avenue and had lunch at the Russian Tea Room and Jess is having the time of her life.
But so far no free necklaces from Tiffany's or meetups with Mick Jagger. Sadge.
Back to the present, Pete has stopped by to see if Mr and Mrs D want to use some concert tickets that he has for that evening since Suzanne is out of town and can't go with him. Jess tells him that the D's are going to a party that evening but she's available. He hesitates but then tells her to be ready by 5:30 because they “might as well have dinner first”. It's not the most enthusiastic invitation but Jess is thrilled to be going out with such a sophisticated and attractive man.
Jessica spends the next several hours getting ready. She uses Suzanne's bath oils, creams and make-up and then takes a cocktail dress from Suzanne's closet. All without permission. Pete doesn't show up on time and she's nearly in tears by the time he arrives. He doesn't acknowledge he's late or apologize but she lets him off the hook because he's so damn hot.
For a narcissist, Jess has no idea of her self-worth. It's confusing.
Pete doesn't tell her that she looks nice which Jess takes really personally. He also doesn't respond to any of her flirting and when she asks him to come up with her after the concert, he declines. He doesn't kiss her goodnight or ask her out again and she is so furious over this that she has herself a little cry in the apartment afterward.
We go back to Liz for Chapter Six.
Suzanne is fitting in just fine with everyone in Sweet Valley. She's extremely helpful around the house and always willing to cook or do the dishes. It doesn't feel true to the character we were described early on in the book but I'm not surprised. Pascal can't even stay true to the characters she's spent 11 books writing. There's no way she'll stay true to a new one. Suzanne even spends time with Steven, helping him varnish his canoe which is NOT a euphemism even though it would be a damned good one. All of Liz's classmates seem to love her and the guys are practically falling over themselves to get with her.
We get our first glimpse of the real Suzanne when Liz's precious necklace goes missing. Suzanne pretends to help Liz look but the necklace is in her pocket all along. She's decided to steal it as a souvenir of her trip.
Liz, Todd and Suzanne head out for the beach but Liz asks Todd to swing by Mr Collins' house first so she can drop off some things for the paper. Suzanne volunteers to run the stuff in to Mr C while Liz and Todd wait in the car. We hop into Suzanne's head at this point. She hears water running in the backyard and follows the sound to see Mr C watering his shrubs. Suzanne gives him the envelope from Liz and then asks him if she can take a drink from his hose. I assume that's not a euphemism but who the hell knows at this point. She makes sure to soak the front of her tshirt with the water so it's completely see through and she tells us that Mr Collins definitely takes a nice long look.
This is so gross, Pascal. Bad!
We go back to Jess in the middle of a chapter. She's feeling homesick and a little lonely. She's been spending time with some of Suzanne's friends but they're not the kind of people she's used to hanging out with. They mostly drink champagne and talk about their trust funds. Not only can Jess not relate, but they all think she's immature and stupid. She ends up drinking more than she should because she feels socially awkward and then she makes a huge fool of herself which just cements their opinion of her.
Now we're back with Liz. Todd gets last minute tickets to a Lakers game and he really wants Liz to go with him but she's supposed to babysit Mr Collins' son Teddy. Suzanne volunteers to babysit Teddy instead so she can have another excuse to get close to Mr C. Liz says she needs to call Mr C first to make sure it's okay but Suzanne convinces her that it isn't necessary.
We fly into Suzanne's head as she arrives at Mr C's house to babysit. He's annoyed that Liz didn't clear the switch with him. She plays it up, pretending like she loves kids and she's just so happy to spend the evening with Teddy but as soon as Mr C leaves, she drops the act. She tells Teddy to go watch TV and proceeds to ignore his requests for stories and play time. She leaves him alone in the living room and spends the entire evening search through Mr C's room and taking a bath in his bathroom. She's hoping he'll come home early and find her naked in the tub. He doesn't.
When he finally does come home, she's pretends to be sleeping on the couch. He wakes her up and she snuggles up to him, trying to get him to kiss her. He almost does which is just super gross but eventually pulls away from her and tells her to get her things because he's going to take her home. She vows to get even with him for rejecting her.
The fact that he came so close to kissing her really gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm not so sure this man should be working with children.
Suzanne tears her blouse and fake cries as she heads back to the Wakefield house. You all know where this is going.
We're back with Jess which is a relief. She and Pete are taking a carriage ride around Central Park. She's laying it on thick, trying to seduce him but he's not biting. In fact, he tells Jess that he's only with her as a favor to the Devlins who wanted to get Jess out of the house for awhile. She's completely humiliated by this and frustrated that she can't seem to hook him. He takes her home and when he finds the apartment empty, he proposes they have a drink. Jess agrees, hoping it will help him loosen up so she can snag him.
After having some brandy, Pete suddenly makes a move on Jess. At first she's thrilled but it becomes pretty clear that Pete has more in mind than she's comfortable with. She tells him to stop but he doesn't and a struggle ensues. During this struggle, Jess is definitely touched in a very non-consensual way. The Devlin's come home to find Pete on top of her and the chapter ends.
We're back with Liz. Suzanne has arrived home all disheveled and upset. Liz asks her what happened and Suzanne makes up a story about Mr C trying to assault her. Liz doesn't believe her and asks her if she could be mistaken. If Suzanne wasn't lying, this would be an unforgivable response. Suzanne manages to convince her and Liz is responsible enough to go tell her parents at least. Ned goes to talk to Mr C and then to the principal I think? Or the head of the school board. I can't even remember. At any rate, someone in authority is told and word quickly spreads about Suzanne's accusations.
Liz is pretty torn about the entire thing. She wants to believe Suzanne because she seemed so upset but she just can't believe Mr C would do such a thing. Their peer group is pretty divided about it as well with some believing Suzanne and some thinking she's making things up. They all feel sorry for her, however, and decide they want to chip in to buy her a pretty blouse to make up for her trauma.
This is so weird. Who does that?
I mean truly. Who hears that a girl was potentially assaulted by her teacher and decides that a new blouse will heal her trauma? This whole town is pretty fucking weird.
They buy the blouse and gift wrap it for Suzanne. Liz decides to sneak it into her suitcase so she'll find it after she gets home. When she puts it in there, she finds her missing necklace among Suzanne's clothes. Confused, she simply fastens it around her neck and says nothing. Later she and Todd are on their way to Lila's birthday party when she asks him to take a detour to Mr C's house so they can get his side of the story. Todd agrees this is a good idea.
Liz comes right out and asks Mr C if he assaulted Suzanne and, instead of answering, he just asks her what she thinks. That's enough for her to decide he's innocent.
WHAT???
Okay, I KNOW he's innocent but no one else knows that. HE DIDN'T EVEN DEFEND HIMSELF! HE NEVER DENIED THE ACCUSATIONS! Liz just decided he didn't do with NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER!
What the fucking hell, Pascal?
Liz begs for his forgiveness despite the fact that he never offered any kind of denial or proof that he was innocent. Then she kisses his cheek which is just hella inappropriate and he allows it despite the fact he should have learned a lesson about how he interacts with his students. Liz vows to fix things.
Liz and Todd go the party where Suzanne is charming everyone as usual. Suzanne notices that Liz is wearing the necklace and immediately tries to figure out an explanation for how it got into her suitcase. She says that maybe it got caught on the arm of her sweater and she didn't notice it and then packed the sweater in her suitcase. Liz doesn't buy it and tells Suzanne that she's going to tell everyone she's a liar. Suzanne vows to ruin Liz's life if she tries.
As soon as Liz walks away, Suzanne flags down Cara who is the biggest gossip in the school. She tells Cara that Liz hit her head on the side of the pool the day before and she's been acting weird ever since. She insinuates that Liz is having issues like she did after her motorcycle accident and that people shouldn't pay much attention if she starts saying or doing weird things. Cara eats this up and rapidly spreads it all around the party.
Liz gets wind of it and goes to confront Suzanne. She starts screaming in the middle of the party which just makes Suzanne's accusations look like they have merit. Especially when Liz accuses Suzanne of stealing the necklace that she's clearly wearing. Things are definitely going Suzanne's way until Winston accidentally spills punch on her white dress and Suzanne gets angry with him. This is enough to convince everyone that Suzanne is evil and they all instantly believe Liz.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
These kids are stupid. They're all just fucking stupid.
Suzanne yells at Winston for ruining a VERY expensive dress and suddenly everyone that loved her now hates her. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
We skip ahead a day and Jess arrives home. She and Liz don't really tell each other anything about their adventures. Liz makes it sound like everything was rainbows and unicorns with Suzanne and Jess lies about how Pete was “dreamy” and how he's madly in love with her even though he definitely assaulted her.
Wait a goddamned minute.
So Pascal spends like two chapters talking about the fallout of Suzanne's false accusations. She talks about how people are torn on whether to believe her or not and how tormented Mr C is that he'd be accused of something that he actually considered doing. BUT WE GET NOTHING ABOUT JESSICA'S ACTUAL ASSAULT. We're told that the Devlin's kicked Pete out of the house and forbade him from seeing Suzanne anymore but that's it. No actual punishment was given to Pete. We're never told how Jess felt about the attack and how she dealt with it. Pascal doesn't fucking care about the real assault that happened but she dedicates PAGES AND PAGES to the fake assault.
I'm so mad, y'all.
Coming Up Next: The last four pages sets up the story for the next book. Steven is crushed because Tricia keeps canceling all their dates. He tells Liz that he knows something is really wrong with her but she won't talk to him. Jess thinks Tricia's probably cheating on Steven and advises him to break up with her but he's way too in love for that.
