**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Bad girl in town....Steven Wakefield is crushed when his girlfriend, Tricia, dies after a tragic illness. The only things that keep him going are the memory of their love and his promise to Tricia to take care of her sister, Betsy, after she's gone. Betsy Martin's wild exploits with drink, drugs and boys have left her with the worst reputation in Sweet Valley. But when Steven takes her into the Wakefield home, Betsy makes a promise to change. And as her goodness grows, so does her love for Steven. Jessica, Steven's conniving younger sister, doesn't like this one bit. She makes a little promise of her own – to get Betsy out of the house and out of Steven's life...forever!
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*Ned Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*Alice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Ken Matthews – star quarterback and resident jock stereotype
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1984 and this is my first time reading it. My only comment on the cover art is that Betsy looks like a 30-year-old cafeteria worker. This is the second book in a row that has completely thrown Jessica under the bus before the first chapter even begins. Last book she was referred to as “scheming” and this book calls her “conniving”. Listen, I'm not Jessica's biggest fan – I truly believe everyone in this universe is evil – but this is a little much. It's another example of Pascal telling us what she wants us to think instead of showing us behavior and letting us draw our own conclusions.
In the last book, Liz cheated on Todd with Nicholas. It was okay, though, because she only did it to be polite. Because it would be bad manners to turn down a date with a boy even if you don't want to go and are in a committed relationship with someone else. Sigh. #fuckpoliteness Everyone forgave her because of course they did. Elizabeth Wakefield can do no wrong. Oh, and Jess almost got in trouble for hacking into the school computer and changing her grade but she was forgiven too. Because....reasons.
So I've been working on recapping “The Wrong Girl” by R. L. Stine pretty much since I put up the last SVH recap last month. It's....um....it's not going well. The book is long and stupid and I'm struggling to get through it. I'm about 66% done but I needed a break from it so I decided to do this one instead. I'm not sure it was the best course of action.
Odds I will regret all my life decisions: 96%
We begin in Tricia's hospital room as she nears the end. Jessica tells us that Tricia is exhibiting the bravery of “a female Luke Skywalker”. It sounds so ridiculous. Tricia's family is not present so it's a good thing the entire Wakefield clan is there. Ned, Alice and the twins step out into the hall to give Tricia and Steven a moment alone. Tricia asks him to promise to look after Betsy. Steven isn't very happy about it, but he does it because he loves Tricia.
And then she dies.
As the Wakefields are leaving the hospital, Betsy comes in drunk and demanding to see her sister. Apparently she just got word that Tricia was nearing the end. Steven tells her the news and Betsy breaks into hysterical sobs. Steven holds her for a minute and then Ned takes over. He tells Betsy that she can come sleep at their house for the night because there's no one at her house to take care of her. Jess makes some snide comments in order to slut-shame Betsy as usual and Liz tells her to be more sympathetic.
Betsy is so upset that she missed her sister's final moments that she swears never to drink or do drugs again. Jess doesn't believe her for a single second. She's hella pissed that her dad offered to let Betsy stay with them. If anyone finds out, this could ruin Jess' reputation forever.
#everyoneistheasshole
Chapter two is entirely Jess slut-shaming Betsy and Liz telling her to be nice. For five pages. The same thing over and over again. Liz does admit that she hopes Betsy won't stay with them long but it has nothing to do with her reputation. Liz thinks Steven won't be able to “get over Tricia” with Betsy in the house. It's amazing she thinks he'll get over Tricia at all. We don't get over these things, Liz. We get through them.
Half of chapter three is spent describing Winston eating four pieces of pizza in four minutes in order to win some kind of bet with Bruce. It's boring and useless and I don't know why it's here other than to show us that Liz is already putting Tricia's death behind her because she has such goofy friends.
#WTFPascal
After school, Liz goes home to find the radio in the study blaring. That's where Betsy is staying because there's a couch in there for her to sleep on and she has a measure of privacy. Liz imagines a drunk, drugged up Betsy fucking some random dude on the couch but when she goes into the room, she finds Betsy drawing at the desk. The fact that she thought Betsy might be having sex but still went into the room anyway is pretty hilarious to me. Maybe Liz likes to watch. Anyway, the two of them talk for a bit about how Liz uses writing as a coping mechanism and Betsy uses art. It turns out Betsy was drawing a picture of Tricia and Liz tells her that she should give it to Steven. Bitch, maybe she wanted to keep the picture of her sister for herself and now she feel obligated to give it to your brother. Not everything is about the Wakefields, sweaty. I know that probably just blew your mind but it's true.
It's the day of the funeral. Jess is elated because she thinks Betsy is going to be going home afterwards and they'll be rid of her. She tells Liz that she heard Betsy come in super late the night before and she assumes Betsy was out getting drunk and railed. When confronted about it, though, Betsy says she went back to her house to go through some of Tricia's things and ended up falling asleep on the couch. Jess doesn't believe her but Liz is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
What a saint.
Steven walks in and hands Betsy a box. Inside is a set of paints and brushes. He tells her that Liz mentioned she liked to sketch so he thought she might like to try painting. Betsy is touched. No one has ever given her a gift before.
Tricia's dad doesn't come to the funeral so Ned and Alice offer to let Betsy stay for a few more days until they can locate him. Betsy has a moment after the service where she wants to go to the bar and slip back into her old habits but Steven stops her. He reminds her of her promise while remembering his own to look after her. He tells her that she's welcome to stay with them forever which is not an offer he can realistically make. He doesn't even live there. He lives in the dorms. I think Ned and Alice might be interested to know they just gained another daughter. They can't even manage the two they have with any degree of competency.
So I had no idea that Winston and his weird eating contests were going to be the B-Plot but here we are. Sigh. I'm honestly going to skip over these sections because it borders on something problematic and I'm not going to trigger any of my readers over something so asinine. If anything pertinent to the plot happens, I'll let you know. Otherwise we'll just carry on.
{{{Note from future me: it's never pertinent to the plot. Are we surprised???}}}
Jess whines to Cara and Lila about Betsy being a new resident of Casa Wakefield. Lila tells her to go through Betsy's things and find some kind of contraband that would force Ned and Alice to kick her out. They're discussing how Jess can play it off when they hear Roger yell from across the quad. We had a book about Roger awhile back. He's the poor track star who moonlights as a janitor to support his sick mother. Pascal introduces a C-Plot when we're told that Roger's mother has had a heart attack and isn't expected to make it.
I guess Pascal was hungry for blood in this book.
#Wakefieldsnextplease
Jess goes home and carries out her search. She doesn't turn up anything except aspirin. Frustrated, she looks through Betsy's sketches. Most of them are of her family but there's one of Steven. Jess has an epic meltdown about this sketch, claiming it's proof that Betsy is in love with Steven. I know she's right because Pascal is a very lazy author, but I really find this assumption to be a HUGE leap. Just because you sketch a person doesn't mean you love them. If that were the case, I'd be hugely in love with Lambchop because I used to draw that stupid puppet a lot for some damn reason.
For the record, I hate Lambchop. She was just easy to draw and my friend at the time was obsessed with her so I think she got stuck in my brain.
Jess goes to Liz at Defcon 1 to tell her they have to get rid of Betsy before she has a litter of kids with their brother.
The next chapter is nothing but Jess fretting over Steven falling in love with Betsy. It's repetitive and unnecessary and I think Pascal was just padding out her word count.
We skip ahead to the weekend. I think. Pascal is never super clear with her timeline. Everyone is at some disco club listening the The Droids play. Pascal gives us this: “Inside, Jessica whirled across the dance floor, stretching, strutting, kicking her legs up, and spinning around and around.” Um. Are we supposed to think that sounds good? I'm picturing that in my head and it sounds like she's having some kind of episode. Maybe medical intervention is in order.
Speaking of medical intervention, while at the dance club, Cara fills Jess in on the latest about Roger's mother. She needs some kind of open-heart operation that she can only get in Houston so Roger is trying to figure out how to get her there. The only problem is that he's poor which Jess is quick to point out. The conversation ends there. I don't think Pascal is very invested in her C-Plot. The stupid B-Plot about Winston's eating escapades comes up way more often. I guess Pascal thinks a pizza eating contest is more important than Roger's poor mother.
Steven and Betsy are also at this club. People are slut-shaming her left and right and Betsy is pretty humiliated. Steven tells her to ignore it but it's clear that it's getting to her. She confides in him that she'd like to leave town and start all over where no one knows her. Steven tells her that she can't solve her problems by running away and encourages her to stick it out and work through it. She tells him that she thinks he's really special and he gets all embarrassed. Luckily for Steven, his friend Jason interrupts them. Steven asks Jason to join them and it's pretty clear that Betsy is annoyed by this. Steven chalks it up to her being uncomfortable with strangers because he's a fucking idiot.
It turns out that Jason is conveniently an artist and he teaches a life drawing class on Saturday mornings that Betsy has been dying to go to but feels too insecure to try. Both Steven and Jason encourage her to try the class and she eventually agrees. Jason tells her that he's heard a lot about her talent from Steven and Betsy is thrilled that Steven has been talking about her in such a positive way to his friends. She seems to read a lot into this which is really stupid because Steven is clearly still mourning her sister. Betsy is also a fucking idiot.
#idiotsasfarastheeyecansee
Jason is thrilled that Betsy has agreed to take the class. I don't know why. Betsy also doesn't know why and thinks he's just happy because he's heard she sleeps around and is expecting her to clean his brushes if you know what I mean. She snaps and tells him that she's not going to fuck him in exchange for art lessons and it embarrasses both him and Steven. Jason rushes to explain that he's not expecting any kind of sexual favors and that he isn't in the habit of sleeping with his students. The moment passes awkwardly and then Steven asks Betsy to dance again because he's too dumb to realize she's not seeing any of this as a friendly gesture.
The next morning, Liz gently talks to Steven and tells him that she thinks Betsy is getting the wrong idea from all the attention he's showing her. Steven gets all stubborn and tells Liz to mind her own business. He really is incredibly dumb. For some reason, he hasn't told anyone about his promise to Tricia and I'm not entirely sure why. It doesn't make any sense.
Betsy comes home from her art class really upset. She tells Liz that she thought Jason genuinely thought she was talented but then he asked her out and she knew he was just after her....ahem....kitty if you know what I mean. Liz tries to tell her that Jason might be interested in her as a person and not as a fuck buddy but Betsy is so jaded by past experiences with men that she doesn't believe it for a second. Liz decides that trying to be Betsy's friend is too exhausting and she just gives up. Honestly, Betsy is better off without her.
Pascal finally deigns to revisit the C-Plot for a few paragraphs. She tells us that Bruce's father has decided to pay for Roger's mother's operation. No one can figure out why he's doing this because Mr Patman isn't really known for his random acts of kindness.
Super quickly that gets dropped and we're back to the Steven/Betsy saga that Pascal apparently thinks is riveting. {{{Spoiler Alert: she's incorrect}}} Jason drops by during a Wakefield brunch to give Betsy her sketchbook because she left without it the day before. He tells her that he thinks she's really talented and she should consider applying to art school. He says that the Los Angeles Academy of Fine Art is doing a talent search and the three winners will get four years worth of tuition, room and board.
Jason says he know one of the people on the committee and he thinks he can get them to accept Betsy's portfolio for judging if she gets it together right away. She acidly asks him what he'll be expecting in return and he says nothing. He even offers to help her put her portfolio together. She accuses him of just wanting to fuck her and storms out. Steven tries to smooth things over with Jason, telling him that Betsy's had some bad experiences with men. Jason is pretty great about it. He seems like a really nice guy so I'm not sure what he's doing in this series. He should save himself while he still has a chance. Liz suggests they submit Betsy's application without her knowledge and they all agree this fraud is a good idea.
Steven goes back to college. Finally. Betsy is super upset to see him go and the Wakefields are all uncomfortable with this but no one says a fucking word.
Betsy's father eventually shows up at the Wakefield house. Betsy immediately calls Steven to ask him what she should do. Steven skips his classes to run right home. I guess Betsy decided not to go home with her dad because the next chapter has Ned having a serious talk with Steven about him putting his life on hold for Betsy. Steven finally tells him about the promise he made to Tricia and Ned points out that he doesn't think Tricia meant he should sacrifice his own life for her sister. Steven stubbornly insists that it's exactly what's he meant to do and the conversation ends.
Jess was eavesdropping of course and she wastes no time telling Betsy that the only reason Steven is being nice to her is because he promised Tricia. Betsy gets pissed off and starts yelling at Jess about how awful all the Wakefields are. I don't disagree with her but I think she's being a little dramatic here. She had to know all along that the Wakefields were only helping her out because she was Tricia's sister. It makes no sense that she'd be pissed about it. I think everyone's intentions were pretty clear. Maybe Steven's were confusing but the others were pretty open about what they were doing and why.
Betsy ends up leaving and going to some bar. A little while later, Steven and Jason arrive at the Wakefield house looking for her. Betsy has won the contest because of course she did. When they find out she left, they go searching all the bars for her. When they finally find her, she makes a big show about being a "bad girl" and screams at them to leave her alone which prompts the guy she's with to start swinging at Steven in her defense. The brawl is pretty lame and short-lived. Jason turns out to be a brown belt in karate because of course he is. Betsy is so enamored of his fighting skills that she forgets who Steven is and this plot is wrapped up in the stupidest way possible.
The book ends with the news that Roger's mother died. Afterwards, Roger finds out that the man he thought was his father wasn't his father at all. His real dad was a man named Paul Patman. He was Bruce's uncle and a very wealthy man who died in a plane crash years ago. Now Roger is suddenly rich and going to live with the Patman's.
Sigh.
It just gets dumber and dumber.
By the way, I DEFINITELY regretted pausing the Stine to read this. I can't be trusted to make these decisions.
Coming up next: Jess decides to make another play for Roger now that he's not poor.
