**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
.jpg)
From the Back of the Book: Regina's life – in jeopardy... When Elizabeth Wakefield learns that Regina Morrow has returned unexpectedly to Sweet Valley from Switzerland, she drops by to visit. A strange woman answers the door and says Regina cannot have visitors. With the help of Jessica, her twin, and Bruce Patman, Regina's boyfriend, Elizabeth discovers that Regina and her parents are being held hostage! If Elizabeth calls the police, the Morrows may be killed. So she, Bruce, Jessica and Regina's brother, Nicholas, vow to rescue the Morrows on their own – before the kidnappers take desperate action!
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1986 and this is my first time reading it. The ghostie for this book is Kate William again. I'm guessing she must have written most of these. I really have no comments on the cover. It's what you'd expect I guess.
In the last book, we spent most of our time with Emily who was having issues with her stepmother at home. It got so bad that Emily planned to run away but was saved by the Wakefields because of course she was. We also had a side story where VileAlice was jealous of the time her twins were spending with the grandparents they only see once a year and she acted like a complete toddler about it. At the end of the book, Liz found out Regina had returned from that clinic overseas but when she went to see her, the gates were padlocked. Bruce tried to call and a mysterious “aunt” told him Regina couldn't come to the phone and the rest of the family was away. It would have been fine if Regina had an aunt.
Missing, Presumed Dead: EVERYONE. The only people who existed in this book were the Wakefields, the Morrows, Bruce, Lila, Suzanne and Ken. The entire fucking town is in the basement. The Wakefields must be stopped!!!
Released From the Wakefield Dungeon: No one. They must be crammed in there like sardines.
We begin with Liz and Jess lounging by the pool. Liz is concerned that something might be going on with Regina but Jess isn't convinced. She thinks Regina just doesn't want to see anyone right now and there's nothing wrong with that. Ghostie takes this opportunity to remind us that Liz and Jess are identical in their perfect, size 6, physical appearances but different in their personalities. She describes Liz as “thoughtful, dedicated and hard-working” despite the fact that NONE of those things are true. Jess is simply described as “looking for adventure” and that feels way more accurate. Ghostie also reminds us of who Regina is, calling her “vulnerable” because she's hearing impaired. I really hate how these books characterize people with disabilities. What the Ghostie didn't do was remember what actually happened at the end of the last book. Liz never saw anyone at the house. The gate was padlocked. Bruce spoke to the fake aunt but neither of them got to the front door. Ghostie tells us that Liz was surprised when a strange woman answered the door and that's why she's concerned. She doesn't need to be concerned because it NEVER HAPPENED. A few pages later, Ghostie seems to remember this and contradicts what she said just a few pages before. Get it together. This is just the first chapter.
Liz continues to worry. A few books back she was kidnapped by a hospital orderly so she's sensitive to the idea that Regina might be in a similar situation. Jess tries to talk her down but Liz can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. She decides she's going to go back to the house to snoop around a bit. Jess tells her she has Nancy Drew Syndrome but Liz won't be deterred. She runs the plan by Bruce too. He's worried she might be putting herself in danger but can't talk her out of it. He offers to go with her but she says it will be easier to do alone.
When Liz gets to the house, the gates are open. She drives right up the drive instead of parking somewhere else to be sneaky. Liz is bad at this. She goes up to the front door and knocks. A strange woman answers and says Regina isn't there. It's almost as if Ghostie wrote this part and then went back and had Liz remember it in the first chapter, forgetting it hadn't happened yet. I don't know. It's weird. Before the woman can close the door, Regina appears behind her and Liz calls out a greeting. The woman snaps at Regina that she was supposed to stay in her room. She tells Liz that Regina hasn't been feeling well and can't have visitors. Regina says nothing but her eyes seem to be begging Liz for help.
The woman closes and locks the door and Liz gets back into her car. She goes home to report the entire thing to Jess. Liz wants to call the police but Jess still thinks she's overreacting to something that might not be dangerous at all. Liz ignores her and calls the department. They send someone over to do a welfare check and then report back to Liz that everything seems fine. The woman is Regina's mom's stepsister who is there for a visit. It's unclear whether they actually saw Regina or whether they just took the aunt's word that she was upstairs sleeping. They admonish Liz for wasting their time but she isn't convinced.
Jess comes up with a plan. She says they should ask Eddie the delivery guy when the next grocery delivery for the Morrows is scheduled. They'll have Bruce take his place to make the delivery and he can snoop to see what's going on. It's actually not the worst plan for once. Jess has impressed me a tiny bit. Jess runs off to call Eddie and Liz calls Bruce. He's super worried about Regina and anxious to do something about it. While they're talking, Bruce introduces the B-plot. Apparently Ken, the football star, is flunking English and is about to get kicked off the team. Bruce got dragged into the matter because he's head of that centennial thing from a bunch of books ago and Ken is supposed to be playing in the big game during centennial weekend. I'm not sure what anyone expected Bruce to do about the situation but now he's all stressed out about it on top of the A-plot.
To be honest, we don't need any side plots in a book like this. The A-plot should be enough to carry the book in this case.
Jess interrupts to tell Liz that Eddie is supposed to make a delivery to the Morrows the next afternoon. Jess and Liz prepare a note to slip into the groceries. This part is a horrible idea because the fake aunt is likely the one who will unpack everything and she'll find it. In the note, they ask Regina to communicate with them by wrapping a note around something heavy and dropping it out of her bedroom window. They're going to stick the note in a fashion magazine in hopes that the fake aunt won't find it but I still think it's risky.
It'll probably work out for them though. The entire universe knows not to fuck with the Wakefields.
We skip to the next day. Liz and Jess go with Bruce to deliver the groceries. They stay in his car just out of sight with the instructions that they'll drive off and get the police if he whistles twice. I'm not sure how they're going to hear him whistle if they're far enough away from the house that fake aunt won't see the car. Make it make sense, ghostie.
Bruce comes back a few minutes later. He says he delivered the groceries but wasn't able to get a peek inside. He didn't see anyone except fake aunt. The three of them make plans to come back at 9:00 to check under Regina's window for a note.
We hop into Regina's head finally. She tells us that she'd gone to the airport in Bern a little more than a week ago because she'd received a letter from her parents saying they were coming to visit. A woman grabbed her, saying she had a gun and she'd use it if Regina didn't cooperate. Regina was to go back to her room to pack a bag and get her passport. She was to tell the facility that there was a family emergency and she had to go back to Sweet Valley for a few weeks. When Regina asked about her parents, fake aunt said that they were being held hostage and they'd be killed if she didn't cooperate.
Nicholas seems to be safe. He was on vacation with a friend in San Francisco when this happened. I'm not sure why the bad guys didn't go find him too but maybe they just couldn't locate him. The bad guys want some prototype of a microchip. They're going to force Mr Morrow to call the plant and tell them he was delayed in Europe and he needs Regina to pick up the microchip. Regina is supposed to turn the microchip over to the bad guys. She still hasn't seen her parents. They're being kept somewhere else.
Fake aunt finds the magazine but not the note. For some reason she gives it to Regina. Regina finds the note and follows instructions. She writes a letter and puts it in a silver compact, dropping it out of her bedroom window.
Back with the Nancy Drew crew. They find Regina's compact in the grass below her window. In the letter, Regina reviews everything about the kidnapping and the microchip. She tells them where to find Nicholas so he can help them find her parents. She emphasizes that all three of them must be rescued at once or the bad guys will kill whoever is left.
The three of them go back to Bruce's house to call Nicholas. They tell him he needs to come back to SV immediately but they can't tell him why over the phone. Bruce instructs him to come to the Fowler mansion and not to go to his house. They don't want to risk Nicholas getting snatched up too. Jess has been going over and over Regina's note. In it, Regina said she heard fake aunt say “money is heaven” while on the phone but her hearing is still very iffy and it might not be accurate. It's their only clue but they don't know what to make of it.
They plan to meet again after school the next day. Bruce is going to skip so he can fill Nicholas in on everything when he arrives. Jess is a little upset that she'll have to miss cheer practice but Bruce says they're going to be skipping a lot of things until this gets solved.
Bruce is almost getting likable but I'll never forget him sexually harassing Liz back when she had the head injury.
She shouldn't forget either.
We skip to after school the next day. Nicholas wants to go check out the house. Liz agrees to go with him while Jess and Bruce stay back at the Fowler mansion. As they approach the house, they see a blue car leaving. Nicholas gets the license plate and says that the driver looked a little familiar. They decide to go back to Bruce's house, shaken over the near miss.
Back at the mansion, Jess encourages Nicholas to think about who could be doing this. He remembers an old colleague of his dad's named Denson who was fired and arrested for stealing. He's newly out of jail and Nicholas thinks he might be the man who was driving the blue car.
Convenient.
The next day, everyone skips school. They're going to go to Denson's house to see if they can come up with any clues about what “money is heaven” might mean. When they pull up to the address listed in the phone book, they see a young man mowing the lawn. Bruce suggests that Jess go flirt with him to get some information. She pretends to be insulted but does it anyway.
The boy turns out to be Denson's son Mitch. Jess pours on the charm and poor Mitch is gobsmacked. Jess pretends to be doing a survey about consumer behavior in the neighborhood and asks a bunch of random questions. Then she asks if she can come in for a glass of water. Mitch gets super nervous and says his dad is asleep inside. He offers to bring her something to drink and disappears inside. Jess peeks in the window and sees Mr and Mrs Morrow sitting on the couch. They panic when they see her and dart away.
We're with Mrs Morrow now. She tells her husband that she saw one of the Wakefield twins outside. She's hopeful at first that it means they might be rescued but her husband reminds her that they're in a dangerous situation. The twins fucking around could get everyone killed. Finally someone is realistic about the Wakefield's capabilities.
Back with the Scooby gang. Jess gets back in the car and tells them that she saw the Morrows inside the house. Nicholas wants to go inside and rescue them but Bruce points out that it might bring harm to Regina. Everyone has to be rescued at the same time to ensure everyone's safety.
They all go home and Liz finds a note from her mom to call Suzanne in the school office. Suzanne is a sophomore at SVH but Liz still things she's being busted for skipping school. She calls and Suzanne tells her she's planning an Honor Society event and she wants Liz to do a poetry reading for it. Liz agrees and hangs up. When she tells Jess about the call, Jess warns her that Suzanne is a huge pain in the ass. Suzanne is a know-it-all who constantly tries to run things because she thinks she knows best.
Wait. Did Jess just describe Liz?
I don't know why that was in there. I hope ghostie isn't trying to shove a C-plot into this. We don't need it. We haven't paid any attention at all to the B-plot at this point because the A-plot is all we really need. Maybe both of them are just setting up the next book?????
Back with Regina. She just reviews her book with us – telling us about falling in love with Bruce and then the misunderstanding that led her to leave him to go to the clinic and how they made up afterwards. She tells us about her mom feeling guilty about her hearing impairment and how the clinic has helped her get most of her hearing back. She talks about trying to escape but worries that something might happen to her parents if she does. That was it. It was a waste of pages.
Back with the Nancy Drew crew. They're still trying to figure out the “money is heaven” clue. Suddenly Jess tells them to put their hands over their ears to diminish their hearing so they can be more like Regina. Then she repeats the phrase over and over until they realize that fake aunt actually said “Monday at seven”. Now they know when Denson plans to have Regina pick up the microchip.
Now that they know when things are happening, Liz comes up with a plan to rescue everyone at the same time. She figures they can rescue the Morrows while Regina is in the plant because fake aunt and Denson won't be able to harm Regina in the plant itself. Liz suggests they split up – Liz and Nicholas will go to the plant while Jess and Bruce go rescue the Morrows. When Regina and fake aunt come out of the plant, Liz will stall them while Nicholas calls the police. The only problem with the plan is that they don't know where Denson will be. If he's at the house with the Morrows, it might be too dangerous to rescue them and the plan will fail.
Bruce asks Jess to talk to Mitch again. She agrees to go talk to him the next day to see if she can figure out what Denson's plans are for Monday evening. I'm not sure how that will happen but I bet it's dumb. They can't really do anything else so Jess suggests they go to the beach for the evening and try to act normal for awhile. Nicholas doesn't feel up to it but Bruce talks him into it. As soon as they get to the beach, poor Nicholas falls asleep in the sand. He hasn't slept in days and he's just exhausted. The others start talking about the B-plot again. Jess suggests the Liz could tutor Ken in English and Lix decides to offer once the A-plot is concluded.
We land back in Mrs Morrow's head. Denson shows up and they ask him what the plan is. Denson says that Monday morning, Mr Morrow will call the plant and tell them that Regina is coming over to pick up the microchip at 7:00. After he gets the chip, Denson plans to sell it to someone out of the country. Mrs Morrow asks what he'll do with them afterwards and he doesn't really answer the question. He says they'll worry about that later. Mrs Morrow realizes that there's no way Denson can leave them alive.
Back with the Sherlock wannabes. Jess goes back to Mitch's house and knocks on the door. Mitch seems super happy to see her. She invites him to a beach party but he says he has some work he has to do for his dad and he can't leave the house. She probes a bit, trying to find out whether his dad will be home Monday night but Mitch is nervous and keeps dodging around. She eventually says she'll come back Monday evening and maybe they can spend some time together and then she leaves. She learned absolutely nothing here and I'm not sure why ghostie included it.
We're with Mr Morrow now. It's Monday morning and he makes the phone call to the plant. The guy on the other end seems a little suspicious but Mr Morrow doesn't tell Denson that. Denson warns him that Mrs Morrow will die if anything goes wrong.
Back with the pseudo Poirots. It's Monday evening now and they're all pretty rattled. Nicholas, in particular, is a mess. Bruce is doing his best to hold Nicholas together but he's worried too. He loves Regina and doesn't want anything to happen to her or her parents. They go over the plan again. Jess and Bruce will take Nicholas' jeep because it has a phone in it. Nicholas and Liz will take the Fiat. Nicholas will use the pay phone located near the plant to call Bruce and Jess as soon as Regina and fake aunt go into the plant. Bruce and Jess will storm the Denson house and rescue the Morrows while Regina is safe inside the plant. When Regina and fake aunt come out, Liz will stall them while Nicholas uses the phone booth to call the police.
They split up and drive to their respective posts. Bruce goes over their plan with Jess. She's going to distract Mitch at the front of the house and Bruce is going to go in the side door to rescue the Morrows. Bruce will whistle when they're in the clear so Jess can run back to the jeep. Nicholas calls to tell them Regina has gone into the plant and Bruce and Jess spring into action. When Mitch answers the door, he comes out onto the front porch with Jess. They talk for a few minutes and then Mitch gets super nervous and tells Jess to leave. She turns to see Denson's car coming down the block.
Denson goes in the side door and Jess panics. She screams for Bruce and tries to get in the front door. Mitch tries to stop her but she gets it open and runs inside, colliding with Bruce who is running out with the Morrows right behind him. Denson manages to get a gun on them but Mitch tackles him. The Morrows, Bruce and Jess make a run for it and get in the jeep. The Morrows call the police as Bruce heads for the plant.
We hop over to Liz. She sees fake aunt and Regina come out of the plant. Good thing this is in the era before cell phones existed or none of this would have worked. Liz goes up and pretends to be doing a story about how computers are infiltrating homes. She asks fake aunt if she knows the foreman and can help her get inside. Fake aunt recognizes her from the house because she's not an idiot. Liz tries to gaslight the aunt but it doesn't work. Fake aunt tries to walk away but Liz makes a bit of a scene and she becomes concerned that the guards might notice.
Nicholas finishes his call to the police and runs forward to grab Regina. A few seconds later, Bruce and the Morrows pull up with Denson right behind them and Mitch right behind him. Fake aunt pulls her gun and Denson gets out of his car with his gun pulled as well. Denson goes on a bad guy rant about how he wants to ruin Mr Morrow's life because his life was ruined. Jess starts to cry because she realizes she's probably going to die. They hear sirens in the distance and Bruce and Nicholas think 'what the hell' and charge Denson at the same time. Fake aunt fires at them but misses as they tackle Denson to the ground.
The police arrive and arrest Denson, fake aunt and Mitch. Jess is pissed because Mitch saved their lives in the end by tackling Denson in the house. Technically he's an accessory because he helped his dad hold the Morrows captive but an argument could be made that he did it out of fear for his own life. He'll probably get off.
Regina has a tearful reunion with everyone and then they head back to the Morrow mansion. They recap the entire book for each other and then Regina says she doesn't want to go back to the clinic. She has 85% of her hearing back and that's good enough for her. Her parents say that she can probably finish the rest of her treatment on an out-patient basis.
We skip ahead to the end of the week. The Morrows are throwing a party to celebrate their rescue and Regina's homecoming. Lila comes to pick up the twins so at least we know she still exists. She tells them that Suzanne and Ken are the hot new couple at school. Liz finds that hard to believe and theorizes that she might just be helping him with English.
When Liz sees them at the party she can't decide if Ken looks happy to be with Suzanne or miserable. Suzanne is trying to inject some culture in him and he doesn't seem comfortable with it. Liz worries that Suzanne is trying to change Ken into someone he's not and then the book just ends. I guess Ken and Suzanne were just setting up the next book after all.
This book was hella padded. I honestly think this story could have been told just as well in half the space. That said, at least it had a story. It wasn't a great story but it existed.
Coming up next: Suzanne is going to try to make Ken into someone else I guess. Oh, and he might fail English.
