**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
.jpg)
From the Back of the Book: Mad at the world... Aaron Dallas, the handsome co-captain of the Sweet Valley High soccer team, used to be friendly and likeable. But suddenly he's changed. He explodes whenever the smallest thing goes wrong, and lashes out at everyone, including his teammates and his girlfriend, Heather. Elizabeth Wakefield is concerned about the change in Aaron. Her boyfriend, Jeffrey French, is Aaron's best friend. Jeffrey keeps making excuses for Aaron, and Elizabeth can't persuade him that his best friend really needs help – until Jeffrey himself because the target of Aaron's rage.
I find it interesting that they used the British spelling of likable in the book description. I wonder if the ghostie was British.
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1987 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is...typical. Has Jeffrey French always been blonde? For some reason I thought he had brown hair.
In the last book, Maria and Michael decided to get married but couldn't tell their parents because of a long-standing feud. In the meantime, the junior class did a marriage and family unit and learned that adulting is hard and Winston ran for student government.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Winston must have been the victim of some kind of political plot because he's 100% missing in this book. He has a lot of company. Bruce, Regina, George, Bill, Michael, Patty, Sandra, Jean and Eddie are all still languishing in the dungeon.
Released from the Wakefield Dungeon: EvilNed, VileAlice and Steven all made their escape. Just in time, too. That dungeon is getting full.
We begin with Liz winking at herself in the bathroom mirror. No, I don't know why. She's really feeling herself I guess. She hears Jess moving around in her room and goes in to talk to her. Jess is reading a brochure for an MLM (multi-level marketing scam) called Tofu-Glo.
Seriously? Is our B-plot a fucking MLM?
Jess wants to become a hun. She tells Liz how amazing the company is but Liz's “reporter instinct was on red alert”.
Reporter instinct.
We just get a slight description in this book. Liz is called “conventional” and Jess is called “enthusiastic”. I'm okay with those. They feel more accurate than usual.
Jess needs $150 for the starter kit and she only has $100. She asks to borrow $50 from Liz because she already owes her parents money for something. Liz thinks it's shady that Jess has to pay up front but she gives her the money
Liz leaves to go to Jeffrey's soccer practice. The team is doing really well this year because of Aaron and they're expecting to go to the championship. Liz settles in to watch and is horrified when Aaron gets into a physical fight with a teammate and has to be pulled away by Jeffrey.
Enid wanders by and she and Liz talk about how weird Aaron has been acting lately. He's losing his temper and acting paranoid. People are starting to avoid him and he's losing friends rapidly. Jeffrey is the only one who still hangs out with him.
Liz actually resents the amount of time that Jeffrey is spending with Aaron lately. It's clear that Jeffrey is trying to comfort his troubled friend but Liz lacks empathy. She comes right out and tells Enid that her sympathy for Aaron is running out.
After practice, Jeffrey comes out of the locker room and Liz immediately starts asking what crawled up Aaron's ass. Jeffrey tells her that Aaron's parents are getting a divorce because his mom cheated. His mom left him with his father who yells at him constantly and has even hit him once. He asks Liz to give Aaron a little understanding but she immediately brushes that off and says that Aaron isn't even trying to control himself and he needs to 'just get over it'.
She doesn't know that. He could be trying very hard to control himself. We haven't been in his head yet, so we don't know what's going on either. Clearly he needs help with what he's going through (and someone should report to proper authorities that his dad hit him). Liz is really being a bitch here.
Jeffrey tells Liz that they're going to double with Aaron and his girlfriend Heather at the movies that night. I don't know who Heather is and I assume we'll never hear from her again after this book is done. Liz is really mad about being forced to spend time with the other two. She calls Heather “empty headed” and annoying because she likes to talk about clothes. Liz thinks fashion is beneath her and anyone who enjoys it is lacking in IQ. Man, she's awful in this book.
Liz and Jeffrey go back to the Wakefield compound for dinner. Jess is there to fill EvilNed and VileAlice in on the B-plot. Her dad warns her that it might be a scam but her mom is oddly all for it. EvilNed tells Jess that he wants to look into the company but VileAlice encourages her to get her starter kit and start hunning.
We skip right to the movie. Heather talks during it which pisses Liz off. She ends up snapping at her to shut up which hurts Heather's feelings a little. Ordinarily I would never say this, but I'm kind of with Liz on this one (although I would have been nicer about it). I hate it when people talk all through movies in the theater. An occasional whispered comment is okay but a conversation needs to wait until afterwards. When the movie ends, Heather tries to talk to Liz about how beautiful the costumes were but Liz literally rolls her eyes and thinks to herself that Heather is a complete “air head” because she can only talk about clothes.
{{{Note from the blogger: At this point they all go to a diner to get something to eat. Pascal immediately starts in with her bullshit about people needing to deny themselves food in order to fit in with society's vision of beauty. You all know what I'm talking about but I'm trying to choose my words carefully. I'm not going to recap those paragraphs but just know that Pascal continues to promote unhealthy thinking about food and shaming about body shape.}}}
Liz asks how everyone liked the movie and mentions that she cried. Jeffrey calls her a “sentimental slob” which is just a weird thing to call someone and then makes it worse by saying “Goes with being a dumb blonde, the sentimental slob part” and gives her a “mocking smile”.
Well, it didn't take Pascal long to make Jeffrey completely awful. I was really hoping he'd emerge unscathed from this series but I should have known better. As a blonde person, I am completely insulted. Liz should be too but she just laughs at him.
Some soccer people show up and Jeffrey and Aaron leave the table for a few minutes to go talk to them. Heather tries to talk to Liz about her dream of becoming a fashion designer and even mentions that she makes all her own clothes (which people have been admiring the entire book) but Liz barely listens to her. When Heather asks Liz what she dreams of doing someday, Liz snaps that she's a “private person” and doesn't want to discuss it.
I'm so confused. Liz normally can't resists telling everyone that she wants to be a reporter someday. So why doesn't she just tell Heather that? It makes literally zero sense. Liz just wanted to be a bitch I guess.
Across the diner, Aaron gets into an argument with a teammate and has to be pulled away by Jeffrey. They come back to the table and Heather soothes Aaron with baby talk which shocks Liz to her very core. It works though. Liz immediately asks Jeffrey to take her home, appalled at everything she just witnessed.
We skip some time I think? It's not clear. Jess gets her starter kit for the B-plot. It ends up being 20+ cartons full of product that she has to lug up to her room. She immediately starts to plan a Tofu-Glo party so she can shill it out to her friends.
We skip again to the party. Jess shows off the shampoo, cleanser and moisturizer to a room full of teenage girls. She hasn't actually tried any of the products yet but she makes wild claims about the benefits of them. To entice her friends to order, she offers a money back guarantee which is definitely going to bite her in the ass later.
As the girls come up to examine the products and make their purchases, Jess pauses to ask some girl named Julie about her sister. I have no idea who Julie is and no idea who her sister is, so I can only assume they're going to be the next book. Julie acts embarrassed and says her sister is doing fine.
Enid is reluctant to purchase anything because she thinks this entire thing is a scam but Liz pressures her into buying shampoo. Liz is a terrible friend. Heather buys one of everything and then quickly leaves to go to Aaron's practice. As soon as she's gone, Liz starts to make fun of her by imitating her baby talk to the rest of the girls gathered at the party. The girls laugh and start mocking Heather as well. It's disgusting. Liz is a bully.
We finally get out of Liz's head and land in Heather's. She's at Aaron's practice thinking about what her life has turned into. She can tell that Liz doesn't think very highly of her and it makes her sad because she really wants to be Liz's friend. Honey, you're dodging a bullet with this one. Stay far away from the Wakefield.
Heather loves Aaron but she worries about his temper. He's upset about his parents' divorce and his dad is essentially verbally abusing him (and I haven't forgotten about that hitting thing). The only way Heather can calm him down when he's upset is to baby-talk him but she finds it a little embarrassing. Still, she does it because it helps him and she wants to help him.
Back with bully Liz. She comes to the practice because she's writing an article for the school newspaper about the team's road to the championship. Seeing Heather, she makes sure to sit as far away from her as possible. Honestly she's just doing Heather a favor at this point. While she's watching, Aaron gets tripped by another player. Might be an accident, might not. It's hard to know with soccer. Aaron tackles the other player and starts punching him. The coach gives him a warning instead of immediately kicking him off the team which is bullshit. Fighting was an automatic suspension even in the 80's.
Liz decides to write an article about the incident – including the coach's failure to remove Aaron from the team – calling it an “unprovoked attack”.
For the first time, at just over 50% through the book, we land in Aaron's head. It's his plot and this is the first time he's getting a chance to tell his side. He's sobbing in the locker room because he feels out of control and he doesn't know what to do about it. He misses his mom and his dad is awful and he doesn't know how to handle the feelings he's having. It's sad but short. That's all we get.
Back with Jess and the B-plot. Fueled by the success of her party (where did all those teens get their disposable income anyway?), she decides to take her sales pitch door-to-door. She makes three sales pretty easily because Jess is charming and everyone knows they must obey the Wakefields if they want to survive in SV. At the fourth house, the lady asks if she can sample the moisturizer before she commits to buying. The product smells disgusting and it won't absorb into the lady's skin. She basically orders Jess off her property. Jess is a little embarrassed but decides that the problem must be with the lady's skin and not with the product.
When she gets home, Cara calls in a panic. She's using the shampoo and it won't rinse out of her hair. She asks for her money back. Jess is irritated. She thinks Cara just used the product wrong. Steven stomps in, pissed that Cara canceled their date because she has tofu in her hair. Jess says it wasn't her fault. VileAlice asks Jess if she had any problems with the products and Jess admits that she never tried any of them. VileAlice orders her to go right upstairs and try every single one.
Jess goes up to her room to fetch the products. There's a strange smell and her dog, Prince Albert, seems obsessed with sniffing the cartons. Jess skips the moisturizer because she saw a demo of it already and gives the shampoo a try. It won't fully rinse out and leaves her hair a greasy mess. She tries the cleanser and it makes her break out in a horrible rash.
Everyone starts calling to demand their money back. Jess has to return it all and now she has no money to pay back Liz.
We skip to Monday and trade Wakefields. Liz's article is in the paper and it's causing quite a stir. Jeffrey isn't happy about it. Aaron is mad at him because of it and it's causing a rift in their friendship. Liz defends her decision, saying she was obligated to report the facts. Oddly, Heather agrees with her. She's hoping that the article will force Aaron to see that needs help. She's been trying to get him to talk to a counselor since all this began and he refuses.
I like Heather. I hope she gets the hell out of SV.
We switch Wakefields again. Jess calls Tofu-Glo about the products being trash and about them stinking up her room. They tell her that the products should have been refrigerated and since she stored them improperly, they won't be issuing her a refund.
Who refrigerates shampoo???
And how was she supposed to fit 20 cartons of stuff in her fridge?
We switch Wakefields and skip ahead a day or two. Liz and Jeffrey have declared a truce – agreeing to disagree about her article. Everyone is excited about the championship game. Jeffrey and Liz run into Heather and Aaron in the quad. Aaron demands an apology from Liz and this pisses Jeffrey off. He tells Aaron to grow up and Aaron punches him right in the mouth. Everyone is horrified. Aaron runs off and Heather chases after.
We bounce between Heather and Aaron in this section because the writers are lazy and don't know how to convey emotion through action. Heather catches up with Aaron in the parking lot. He's crying over what he just did so she holds him. She tells him that he really needs to get help and this time he listens. He agrees to start with the school counselor.
We land briefly in Liz's head. She can't resist telling her injured boyfriend “I told you so”. Helpful, Liz. Jeffrey admits that he's been making excuses for Aaron's behavior because he knows Aaron is going through some shit but that's obviously not been very helpful. He takes off to track Aaron down and encourage him to get some counseling.
Back to Aaron. He's trying to track Jeffrey down so he can apologize. They meet up and Aaron apologizes for hitting him and says that he's going to talk to the school counselor.
Meanwhile, rumors have spread and the entire school is talking about how Aaron is going to get kicked off the team and it will probably result in them losing the championship game. Jeffrey is more concerned about what getting kicked off the team will do to Aaron. Soccer is the only thing Aaron feels like he has left. If he loses that, Jeffrey is worried he'll spiral even more.
Okay, this is ridiculous. Why are we pinging around like a ping-pong ball?
Aaron goes to the school counselor right then and there. She listens to him and then says that they need to call his dad in and talk about all this together. Aaron is scared to death that it will make his father even angrier but the counselor just insists. Everyone sucks.
Liz, Jeffrey and Heather are waiting for Aaron when he comes out of the counselor's office. He happily tells them that he gets to stay on the team because the counselor told coach that playing soccer is good for his mental health. This is such bullshit. It would never, ever happen this way. There are rules about fighting on school grounds. Aaron's done it twice with absolutely no consequences. It's unrealistic. Not that Pascal has ever cared about realism.
Aaron tells the gang that he and his father are going to get family counseling with someone who specializes in divorce. It's great and all but what about the fact that his dad has verbally and physically abused him? Are we just going to ignore that, Pascal?
I guess so, because we skip right to the championship game. SV wins, of course, because the world as we know it would end if they didn't. Everyone treats Aaron like a hero. Liz admits she was wrong about Heather. I guess the A-plot is all wrapped up now.
We change Wakefields. Jess learns that it's going to cost her $60 to have all the cartons of Tofu-Glo hauled away. She's despondent when EvilNed walks into the room. He did the investigating he promised to do toward the beginning of the book. Tofu-Glo has some kind of class action judgment against them which will allow Jess to recoup all her costs. She'll be able to pay Liz back after all. I guess that does it for the B-plot.
We finally work our way back around to Julie and her sister Johanna. Johanna's claim to fame in SV is that she dropped out of school. She's going to re-enroll so I guess book 36 will be about her returning to SVH where I'm sure they'll be completely awful to her. The book rather abruptly ends here.
This book was garbage. Liz was awful. She bullied Heather hardcore and no one called her out on it. I've never really liked her but this book tanked my opinion of her forever. Poor Heather.
Coming up Next: It's another Super Edition. The Wakefields go to the country to cause mayhem for awhile. I'm sure SV will breathe a big sigh of relief.
