**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Double the fun... The Wakefield twins never expected that the sleepy town of Walkersville, Kansas, would be twice as exciting as their own hometown. But when Jessica and Elizabeth spend spring break at their great aunt and uncle's house in the country, they discover that small-town life can have its share of big adventures. At first, things don't look so promising. Instead of a warm welcome, the local girls give them the cold shoulder. And Aunt Shirley and Uncle Herman won't let the twins out of their sight. But things brighten up when the girls meet gorgeous identical twins at a local carnival, Alex and Brad Parker. Jessica thinks Brad might be the man of her dreams but how can she get to know him better when she's being so closely watched by her aunt and uncle? Then trouble really begins to brew when Elizabeth makes an unexpected discovery about the Parker twins....
{{{Note from future me: There's a MASSIVE error in this book description that somehow made it past Pascal's team and the editors. It's not a grammar mistake (which happens a lot) but a true error that definitely should have been caught.}}}
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1987 and it's my first time reading it. The cover bothered me immensely until I realized that the twins wore those outfits to some kind of square dance. It's still dumb but less offensive than Pascal thinking everyone in Kansas just dresses like that. Also, do you think Liz is okay? That scarf looks hella tight.
In the last book Aaron Dallas had anger issues and Liz was extremely bitchy and judgmental toward some poor girl named Heather who didn't deserve it. What else is knew, amirite?
Missing, Presumed Dead: Not applicable for Super Editions
Released from the Wakefield Dungeon: Not applicable for Super Editions
We begin with the twins packing to spend their spring break with VileAlice's Aunt Shirley and Uncle Herman. Liz is excited about the trip but Jess isn't. We launch right into a description of our favorite twinsies. They're both described as physically perfect clones but Liz gets saddled with the adjective “steady” while Jess gets labeled with “fad”. How can a person be fad? Do better, ghostie.
VileAlice appears to remind Jess to pack only “conservative” clothes because she wouldn't want to shock the poor Kansas bumpkins with her mini skirts.
Jess wonders if they'll experience a tornado like in the Wizard of Oz and Liz replies with “not in April, silly”.
I'm sorry. Did they do ANY research on Kansas for this book? When do they think tornado season is? April is the beginning of tornado season, and while I don't think we'll get lucky enough to have the twins blown to Oz, they could very well experience a storm while they're there.
We skip ahead to the twins landing in Kansas. They're picked up by Shirley and Herman who are a stately couple in their 60's. Herman is the mayor of this small fictional town and everyone seems to know them.
Sorry but I'm calling BS again. First tornado season and now this. Yes, there are several airports in small towns in Kansas but they're for farmers or hobbyists or people who fly small planes for whatever purpose. A plane coming in from Los Angeles or wherever would be coming into one of the larger cities that aren't out in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Sigh.
{{{On page 17 there is a typo calling “Cara”, “Cora”. The person who owned the book before me corrected it in pen because it bothered her so much. I absolutely love getting used books for this very reason. I love it when people add notes or write things on the inside covers. It's like I'm sharing an experience with them all these years later. Amber, who wrote her name on the inside cover and corrected typos, is probably in her 40's or 50's now and she's hopefully lived a happy life after Sweet Valley High. Cheers, Amber!}}}
Anyway, Walkersville is described like every other small town in a Hallmark movie. Shirley and Herman own a “Five and Dime” with a soda fountain. Not sure how many Five and Dimes were still around in the late 80's but I'm sure there were a few. They live in a Victorian house about 6 blocks from the main part of town.
Shirley and Herman take the twins on a walking tour of downtown. Jess wears “tight black stirrup pants, a bright raspberry t-shirt and a black man-tailored jacket” and “pointy black sunglasses”. She tells us that everyone stares at her like she's a celebrity because she's so fashionable.
Seriously? We were all wearing stirrup pants and our dad's jackets back then. This would not be unusual. Does the ghostie think everyone in Kansas wears gingham and overalls?
Jess finds some boys to flirt with. They seems star struck by her because no one in Kansas has ever seen stirrup pants before I guess. A girl named Annie Sue comes up clearly hostile and jealous. Maybe it's because her name is straight out of Little House on the Prairie or something. That would make me cranky.
Annie Sue lays her claim on Dennis – one of the boys Jess was flirting with – and leads him away. Ghostie frames this like Annie Sue is being unreasonable but honestly, if my boyfriend was flirting with some random girl in stirrup pants, I'd lead him away too. At any rate, Jess is pissed because Annie Sue didn't immediately supplicate herself at Jess' feet.
Later that night, the twins discuss their day. All the teen boys were welcoming and polite but all the teen girls were hostile and cold. The twins are confused but maybe the girls have just read the rest of the series and they know what's up. Or they have good instincts. Either or.
We skip ahead 3 entire days which means there's just 8 more in the book!
Herman announces that the carnival is in town for the next week. Shirley tries to warn them that it's just a small town carnival but they don't listen and hype it up to epic proportions in their minds. Jess puts on a white, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit and a pair of white leather boots for the occasion. Dude, she's going to get SO dusty.
Shirley warns the girls to stay away from the [redacted offensive word to refer to carnival workers]. Jess just blows it off because she's determined to get her flirt on. They head to the carnival and the twins are immediately disappointed with how small it is because they don't fucking listen. There's a few rides, a few games and some animals. Sounds like a normal small-town carnival to me. Jess quickly spots a cute carnival worker named Alex who is giving pony rides to kids (on an actual horse, you perv).
Jess isn't the only one who notices Alex. Liz thinks he's cute, nice and smart. She literally says he's not at all like a regular “[redacted]”.
What the fuck Liz? People who work at carnivals can't be cute, nice and smart? Wow that was offensive. I can't believe they put it in the book. This is exactly why I will NEVER believe that Liz is a good person. Not when she has asshole thoughts like this.
Alex is in college majoring in Economics and Agriculture. He has an identical twin brother named Brad who is majoring in English/Journalism. Liz is thrilled to hear that someone who looks like Alex is interested in the same things she is.
I fear a major contagion is about to infect Elizabeth again.
We just can't seem to leave this epidemic in Greenleaf.
Annie Sue comes over to interrupt their conversation. When Alex doesn't give her his full attention, she hops onto the corral and tries to pet a big black horse named Midnight. Alex stops her and tells her that Midnight is skittish and not fully broken. The only reason the horse is there is because Alex is hoping to sell him to someone local. Annie Sue is irritated at being told 'no' and stomps off.
Jess asks for riding lessons and Alex says he can teach her after the carnival closes for the night at 10:00. Liz is jealous that he seems to have picked Jess even though it's clear that she'd have more in common with Brad. Jess sees Liz's jealousy and probes Alex for info on his brother, hoping to steer her sister's interest that way. Alex says that Brad is quieter and more studious. He works in the office during the day and Alex works in the corral during the afternoon and evening.
So....are there really two of them or is Alex just trying to date both girls?
Odds Brad exists: 25%
Jess pushes Alex to figure out how the four of them can go on a double date and he promises to try. Liz does nothing to discourage this date idea despite the fact she has a boyfriend.
Later that evening, Jess tells Shirley that she wants to walk back to the carnival to meet up with Alex when he closes up for the night. Shirley clutches her pearls so hard she has to take a heart pill to recover. Jess pretends to give up the idea and then immediately says she's super tired and she's going to bed.
Jess sneaks out and bikes back to the carnival grounds. Alex offers to let her ride Midnight and Jess is confused since he told Annie Sue that the horse couldn't be ridden. Apparently Midnight is ridable but he has an issue with having his mouth pulled and Alex just didn't want Annie Sue on him. He shows Jess how to stroke Midnight's neck to calm him down and then gives her a riding lesson. She's a natural because of course she is. Wakefields can only be bad at something if it's funny.
Before she leaves, Jess really pesters Alex about Liz meeting Brad again. Alex finally gives in and tells her that they'll both be on the carnival grounds at 3:00 the next day. Jess is excited to tell Liz the news.
If there's more than one of them, I'll eat my laptop.
The next day, the twins go to work at the soda fountain in their uncle's store. Why? I don't know. They're given five minutes of “training” and then left completely alone to manage the lunch rush. Is everyone in this book stupid? What do these flibbertigibbets know about grilling burgers? They're going to burn the place down to the ground.
Dennis shows up with a bunch of other teens and everyone is chatting and having a good time until Annie Sue shows up. She tells the girls that Liz and Jess have been making fun of them and are planning to steal their boyfriends. To be fair, this is totally something that Liz and Jess would do. The girls end up storming out and the boys sheepishly follow.
For some undisclosed reason, Jess can't leave the soda fountain at 3:00, so Liz goes alone to meet Alex and Brad. Only Brad shows up. I'm more convinced that this is a scam.
Odds Alex and Brad are two different people: 5%
Brad and Liz talk about how hard it is to be a twin and how you have to make sure you act different from your sibling to make up for how much you look alike. They discuss their plans for the future and coincidentally Brad also wants to be a writer. Liz is completely smitten with him. She wants to see him again but Brad says he can't meet up in the evenings because that's when he has to be Alex....ahem.....I mean because he has to babysit his little sister. Liz is okay with only seeing him in the early afternoon because it's less like a date and means she isn't really cheating on Jeffrey.
We skip some time. I don't know how much. Annie Sue's grandma invites the twins and the other girls in the town to have lunch out at her farm. Mrs Sawyer is very sweet and seems genuinely happy to have the twins there. Since the other girls haven't arrived yet, she asks Annie Sue's little sister Janie to give them a tour. Shenanigans ensue. Janie tells them the wrong way to milk a cow almost resulting in Jess getting kicked, tries to lead them into a poison ivy patch, instigates a pig stampede and then leaves them stranded in the woods. To top everything off, Annie Sue and the other girls don't even come to the lunch to prove a point. Poor Mrs Sawyer is hurt and embarrassed but the twins reassure her that there's no hard feelings.
There's a big square dance planned for Sunday evening after the carnival closes for the week. The twins are excited about it and decide to ask Alex and Brad to go with them. I have a feeling one of them is going to be extremely disappointed.
Liz goes into town the next day to meet up with Brad. She notices some of the girls are starting to copy Jess' style (I guess that means they're wearing stirrup pants and sunglasses). She thinks it's amusing but wonders how Jess will react. As she spends time with Brad, she notices that he seems to have two different personalities. Sometimes he's serious and reserved but then he'll slip up and revert back to being outgoing and exuberant. When she voices this to him, he says that he's just “moody”. Clearly he's Alex pretending to be serious Brad and fucking it up. Get a clue, Liz.
When Liz gets back to the house, Jess tells her that her actual boyfriend called. Liz calls Jeffrey back and fills him in on everything that's been happening in Kansas – except Brad. Oddly enough, she doesn't mention him at all. Hmmmmm.....I wonder why?
Jess has been sneaking out every night to meet up with Alex so she pretends to go to bed at 9:00 and ends up sleeping until 11:00 or so the next morning because she's out so late. Her aunt and uncle are convinced she might have a serious illness and want to call VileAlice. Liz prevents this from happening by saying that Jess was just super burned out before they came with school and cheerleading and now she's just getting the rest she needs. Her aunt and uncle are dubious but let it go.
Jess is so in love with Alex – who she's known for less than a week – that she considers asking her parents if she can move in with Shirley and Herman on a permanent basis so she can keep dating him. This makes zero sense because Alex doesn't live in Walkersville. He travels with the carnival and goes to school in the Kansas City area. Did Pascal forget he doesn't live there?
Annie Sue manages to figure out what Jess has been doing and she threatens to tell Shirley and Herman that Jess is sneaking out. In payment for her silence, she demands Jess' rhinestone headband. Jess hands it over. Over the next few days she blackmails Jess out of several items of jewelry and some cowboy boots.
We skip to Friday. Shirley mentions the square dance and tells the twins that they'll all go together. Liz and Jess are dismayed for some reason. Why does it matter if they ride over with their aunt and uncle? They can still meet Brad and Alex there. Well, Alex anyway. Liz mentions that they have dates with Brad and Alex. Shirley and Herman don't approve because the boys are [redacted]. Liz doesn't really understand what the problem is because they've always been allowed to date whoever they want. Shirley and Herman say things are different there because they have a reputation to uphold and [redacted] aren't socially acceptable dates. They go so far as to say that people like “them” don't date people like “that”.
Seriously, Pascal and the ghostie really suck. This is unnecessary. Carnival workers are people just like everyone else.
Liz meets up with Brad that afternoon and ghostie describes a scene in great detail where he cuts his hand on a nail and Liz has to give him first aid. I'm guessing this is going to be the catalyst for his ruse being discovered.
When she gets back to the house, Shirley and Herman gather the twins up for a house meeting. They absolutely forbid the girls from dating the [redacted] and they won't budge on their decision. Jess storms out of the house and goes right to the carnival grounds. Alex tells her that Annie Sue's dad wants to buy Midnight and he asks her to watch the corral while he gets the trailer ready. Annie Sue walks up as soon as Jess is alone and demands to ride Midnight. Jess tells her 'no' but Annie Sue says the horse is practically hers and she can do whatever she wants.
Jess tries to stop her, but Annie Sue gets on Midnight. The horse startles and takes off running. When Annie Sue tries to pull back on the reins, Midnight freaks out more because he hates having his mouth pulled. Jess gets on another horse to chase them down so she can do the neck stroking hack to calm Midnight down. Alex shows up and joins the chase. Jess comes alongside and manages to calm Midnight enough that Alex can get on behind Annie Sue and bring Midnight under control.
In the meantime, Shirley and Herman discover that Jess is missing and Liz is forced to tell them that she's been sneaking over to the carnival. They all head that way. They arrive just as Jess saves the day and they instantly decide that Alex is a hero and therefore suddenly deserving of their respect.
Annie Sue is grateful that Jess saved her from being thrown from the horse. She apologizes and says she'll give Jess her stuff back and then invites everyone to come back to her house for an impromptu party.
Jess notices that Alex has a bandage on his hand and mentions it to Liz. Everything clicks into place and Liz realizes that Brad doesn't exist.
It's about damn time.
Liz confronts Alex and he admits everything. She decides not to tell Jess because she doesn't want to break Jess' heart. She figures they're going back home soon and it won't matter. Alex is grateful that she won't expose him.
We skip to the square dance. The twins borrow the outfits on the cover from Annie Sue. Alex arrives to pick up Jess and says that “Brad” is sick. Liz is annoyed that he isn't telling Jess the truth despite the fact that she's the one who said they shouldn't tell Jess. It makes no sense. I think ghostie has lost the plot entirely.
Liz and Annie Sue concoct a plan to annoy Alex and it's so dumb that I almost don't even want to recap it. Every time Alex dances with Jess, Annie Sue interrupts him to tell him that Liz needs something. Every time he's with Liz, Annie Sue comes up and says that Jess needs him. He spends the dance running back and forth between the two. He gets annoyed and eventually pulls Liz aside to ask her what's up. She wants an apology so he gives her one and then she calls off the plan. She swears never to tell Jess the truth about him and it makes me wonder what the fucking point of all that was? Liz is the worst.
The book ends with the twins deciding that Spring Break was the best week of their lives. I'm sure they'll forget all about it once they get back to Sweet Valley.
Man, this book was awful. So much didn't make sense and it was super offensive toward carnival workers. I finished it weeks ago and it's taken me this long to do the recap because I didn't even want to think about this book ever again. I don't understand why people loved this series so much. It's so bad.
