**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: No life of her own.... Enid Rollins can hardly wait for her grandmother to come live with her and her mother. But when she arrives, Enid is dismayed that the kind, sprightly woman she remembered is now burdensome and demanding. Because Enid's mother works long hours and is often with her boyfriend, Enid finds herself making all sorts of sacrifices to please her grandmother. She skips school events and even stands up her best friend, Elizabeth Wakefield. Worst of all, she never has any time for her boyfriend, Hugh. It's beginning to look as if Enid may have to say goodbye to someone she loves.
(((Note from the blogger: Is there even a point to reading these? They pretty much give away the entire plot on the back of the book.)))
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1988 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is pretty benign. Enid looks too old and I have no idea what the hell she's wearing. Has she always been a redhead? Have I forgotten this detail about Enid?
In the last book, Pascal woke up and chose racism. I skimmed instead of reading it but I know that Manuel forgave Sandra even though he shouldn't have. Also Jess was cruel to Lila but Pascal treated it like a great joke.
Missing, Presumed Dead: The entirety of Sweet Valley showed up in this book except five notable exceptions. Naturally Johanna, Patty and Eddie – who only existed for one book and were never seen again – are still underground. They were joined by Amy and Roger who were invisible despite the fact their significant other's were on page several times. It was honestly weird.
Released From the Wakefield Dungeon: Pascal managed to name almost her entire cast of characters. I was surprised that even Neil made an appearance. I didn't think we'd ever see him again.
We begin with Jess dropping Liz off at Enid's house. Liz has been helping Enid move her stuff out of her bedroom in preparation for her grandmother to move in. We get our twin descriptions basically on page two but they didn't put much effort into them this time. They barely rhapsodize about how physically perfect these two are and just tell us that Jess “moves at the speed of lightning” and Liz “thinks things through”.
Well, that was anticlimactic.
We learn that Enid is moving into the attic so her grandma can have her room. Enid is sad to give her "pretty room" up, but knows that there's no way her grandma could safely climb all the stairs into the attic. She pretends not to care that she doesn't have shelves for her books or a closet for her clothes. She's truly excited that her grandma is going to be living with them. Grandma, as I will call her for this entire recap, is from Chicago. Grandpa recently died and Grandma found it too difficult to remain in their old house with all the memories. Enid remembers her as being kind and feisty and always baking cookies.
Enid's mom, Adele, warns her that Grandma might have a hard time adjusting to the move and they'll have to patient with her. Enid refuses to believe that this will be anything other than wonderful. Adele says that she wants to invite her boyfriend Richard for dinner. Enid's good mood instantly evaporates. She doesn't really have any reason to dislike Richard but she hates that her mom spends so much time with him. Enid liked it better when it was just her and her mom.
Once again, Enid is radiating selfish vibes even as Pascal is trying to tell us how generous she's being by giving up her room. I think Pascal thinks we will blindly believe whatever she chooses to emphasize rather than drawing our own conclusions from the rest of the writing.
Enid and Liz get everything hauled to the attic and then head to the Dairi Burger with Jess. Penny runs up in a panic. Something stupid happened and now she needs Liz to proofread a bunch of articles for the school paper ASAP. It's a plot device meant to introduce our B-plot so the details don't really matter. Liz looks at the articles and sees one about Susan's producer dad Jackson doing a showcase for student documentaries.
But is he really? I mean, last time we saw Jackson, he was “casting for a movie” that didn't exist so he could meet the daughter he abandoned until he needed her to replace his dead son. I wouldn't get too excited about that documentary if I were Liz.
(((Note from future me: We don't see Jackson at all in this book.)))
Liz is intrigued with the idea of making a documentary. She looks around the diner and sees a staggering amount of characters from this series. It's like Pascal suddenly remembered that all these people existed and she shoved them into one scene. They have to be violating some kind of fire hazard law in this diner. Liz loves that everyone enjoys getting together at the various Sweet Valley “hot spots” and that gets her to thinking about how awesome the town is and how much she wishes that other people knew about it.
Sure, Sweet Valley is wonderful if you ignore all the selfishness, lack of empathy, racism, fat phobia, classism and possible homophobia.
We're back with Enid and the A-plot now. She's spent her entire allowance buying fancy hand-made lavender soaps for the bathroom and flowers for Grandma's room. She goes into her old room to make sure everything is ready and feels a pang of sadness that it's not hers anymore. Her mom spent a lot of money to buy a new bed and new curtains for the room and now she's been working overtime to make up for it.
You can see this train coming, right? Grandma is going to be unappreciative of the effort they've made for her.
Enid is distracted from thoughts of her grandmother by thoughts of her boyfriend Hugh. Hold the fuck up. Hugh still exists?
Hugh goes to Big Mesa so they don't see each other much. It's really putting a strain on their relationship.
Grandma arrives. She seems older and more frail than Enid remembered. When Grandma sees the room, she frets that it's much too small. She also hates the flowers because of pollen and insists that she can't go up or down the stairs without someone to lean on. Enid is more than happy to help because it's only been five minutes and it's not annoying yet. Grandma keeps saying she doesn't want them to go to any trouble but it's clear she enjoys the attention and wants them to fuss over her.
We're back with the twinsies. They're at the beach with Jeffrey and Lila. Again, Pascal puts a metric fuck ton of people in this scene. At this point we've seen everyone but Roger and Amy (and of course Johanna, Patty and Eddie but Pascal has definitely forgotten about them). Liz muses that familiar people doing familiar things is the best indicator of a happy town.
Liz decides to make a documentary about Sweet Valley and the B-plot solidifies. She asks Jeffrety to film it since he's the photographer for the school paper. Lila volunteers her camcorder which honestly feels so out of character for her that I'm suspicious. Jess laughs at the idea until Liz asks her to be the on-screen narrator. Liz calls Enid later to ask her to be involved too (in what capacity is VERY unclear) but Enid says she might not have the time. Her grandma needs a lot of help and Adele is busy with work. Liz is disappointed and confused because she can't fathom how anything would be more important to Enid than helping her.
Back with Enid and the A-plot. Richard comes over for dinner. Grandma immediately gives him the cold shoulder and is childishly rude to him. It's a lot. Enid decides that there must be a reason that Grandma doesn't like him and so she starts acting like an asshole toward him too. Adele offers him a drink, which he accepts, and Grandma and Enid decide he's an alcoholic and a controlling misogynist because he's making Adele serve him.
I hate them both. Truly.
Richard tries hard all through dinner but both Grandma and Enid are acting like brats. Pascal even describes this as “hostile” and “resentful” which I agree with. I feel bad for Richard and Adele. I don't think I'll ever look at Enid the same way after this book.
We skip to the next afternoon. It's Sunday and Enid usually spends the day with Hugh. They go up to makeout point to take in the view and spend the afternoon reading passages out of a book to each other. I don't think they understand the purpose of makeout point. Hugh asks her to go on Big Mesa's camping trip the next weekend and she says “yes”, confident that her mom will be okay with it.
Hugh suddenly looks at his watch and announces that he has to cut their time together short. He needs to help some friends hang up posters for the school play. Enid is pissed that he'd dare schedule anything on “their day”. He reminds her that he has other friends and other responsibilities just like she does. She pouts that he can see his other friends and do other things every day except Sunday. Hugh is way more patient with this than I'd be.
They get back to Enid's house and he kisses her goodbye. Grandma watches disapprovingly from the window.
Back to the B-plot. The mountain won't come to Mohammed so Mohammed must go to the mountain. Jess, Liz and Jeffrey show up at Enid's house to plan out the documentary. It's still unclear what Enid is contributing. Liz is writing it, Jeffrey is filming it and Jess is starring in it. Why do they need Enid? Grandma decides she has to join them and puts her two cents in where it isn't welcome. She's also constantly asking Enid to fetch things for her which interrupts the flow of things. When Liz asks if they can all meet after school on Wednesday somewhere else, Grandma gets all dramatic about being left alone for a few hours. Enid feels guilty and bags off the others. I'm not sure why it matters. SHE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING FOR THIS DOCUMENTARY.
We go ahead and skip to Wednesday. Liz, Jess and Jeffrey go around to various locations filming. Winston basically stalks them and keeps photo-bombing Jess. It's all pretty stupid but Liz seems to find it hilarious.
Enid joins them at some point and then they all go back to her house together. Grandma has laid herself out on the couch like it's a fainting couch and she gets annoyed that Enid has her friends with her. They leave and we just slide right into Enid's head without a break.
Grandma tells Enid that her friends are inconsiderate and Liz, in particular, is annoying and bossy.
I could read that sentence over and over.
That. Was. Everything.
Enid wants to help Liz do whatever it is she's supposedly doing with the documentary that evening but Adele has a date with Richard and asks her to stay home with Grandma. Enid is starting to resent the fact that Grandma is taking up all her time. Grandma says that the documentary is a big waste of time anyway. Enid mentions the camping trip and Adele says she can go but Grandma thinks it's inappropriate. To be fair, a lot of parents would be worried about their sixteen-year-old daughter going on a camping weekend with her boyfriend even if chaperones are supposed to be present.
Days pass. Enid is constantly expected to bow to her Grandma's whims. She has to keep canceling plans with Liz because she needs to take her Grandma shopping or to the library or whatever. On Friday afternoon, Adele comes to Enid's room as she's getting ready for the camping trip and announces that Enid can't go. Adele has been thinking about what Grandma said and realizes she's right. An overnight trip with the boyfriend is a little much. Enid is pissed that Adele doesn't trust her. She also can't reach Hugh to tell him not to drive from Big Mesa to Sweet Valley.
This is why cell phones are one of the best inventions ever.
Hugh shows up and is understandably displeased that he made the trip for nothing. He tells her that he isn't sure he wants to date someone that never has time for him.
Back to the B-plot. They film at the beach. Prince Albert is there and he gets Jess wet. Jess is furious, Liz is amused. It's a huge waste of our time.
We go back to the A-plot. I'm not even sure what the point of that last scene was. Anyway, we briefly land in Adele's head. Richard has proposed to her but she hasn't answered because of the way Grandma and Enid are acting. She loves him and wants to be with him for the rest of her life but her child and mother are acting like idiots so she can't accept until that's straightened out.
Now we hop into Enid's head. She manages to go with the gang to the local TV station where they are supposed to interview that talk show guy we met back in the book where the twins were volunteering at the hospital. While they're there, they run into Richard who works there. When he hears about the documentary they're making, he offers to let them use the station's editing equipment. Everyone is thrilled and thankful except for Enid who is still a bitch to him for absolutely no reason.
We skip to the next day. Grandma says that the traffic noise is keeping her up at night and hints that she wants Adele's room. Enid says that her mom should switch but Adele puts her foot down and refuses. Enid is upset that her mom refuses to make sacrifices of her own.
Enid meets the others for lunch. Ken is telling the group about some eating contest that Winston entered and did well in. Liz says: “Skinny people always eat like hogs. Take Enid here – you should see what she does to a carton of ice cream.”
Wow.
Enid tells her that was a mean thing to say and then bursts into tears and runs off. Liz gives her a surprised pikachu face. She goes to find out what Enid is really mad about because it can't possibly be Liz's fault. Enid says Grandma is being a pain and she's unhappy at home.
Days pass. Enid has to cancel on Liz several more times because of Grandma. She manages to go to the beach disco on the weekend, though, where The Droids are playing. Liz is there filming for the documentary. Hugh comes too and he and Enid make up yet again.
Back to the B-plot. Liz is worried about Enid because she knows Enid must be all torn up inside about not helping Liz with the documentary. The other kids are desperate to watch it and convince them to hold a screening the next weekend. Liz agrees and Jess decides to turn it into a big party. Everyone is excited. They put the finishing touches on the documentary and a few days later, she and Jeffrey head to the station to edit it. Richard not only lets them use the equipment, he's convinced the station's editor to help them.
It takes them six hours to edit their footage down to an hour for the contest. {{{Note from future me: we never hear how it does in the contest or whatever.}}} On their way out, they hear Richard and Adele arguing. He wants her to go to an important industry event that Saturday but Adele feels bad about leaving Grandma alone because Enid will be at the screening. Liz doesn't really care about Adele's relationship or Grandma's feelings but she frets that Enid won't be at the screening to tell her how fabulous she is.
Back to Enid and the A-plot. Grandma announces that she wants to go to a movie at the Senior Center on Saturday night. Adele asks Enid to take her but Enid reminds her about the screening at Liz's house. Adele tells Grandma that she will have to go to the movie another night. Grandma pouts and goes off to her room. Adele tells Enid that they have to live their lives and they can't cater to Grandma all the time. Enid is worried that Grandma is upset but Adele says she's just annoyed at not getting her way for once.
Back to the B-plot. Jess is pissed that Liz won't let her see the documentary before the screening. Liz says she should have helped with the editing and then she would have seen it.
We jet right back to the A-plot. What the hell was even the point of that head hop?
Grandma is refusing to get out of bed on Saturday and Adele has lost patience. She says that Grandma is acting like a spoiled child but Enid is upset that she might really be sick. Adele arranges for the neighbor to stay with Grandma for the evening so she won't be home alone. Grandma finally gets out of bed to announce that she doesn't want a stranger in the house and one of them will have to stay home with her instead. Adele says that she has to leave so Enid will have to stay.
What? That doesn't even make sense, Pascal. Adele just told Enid that they have to live their lives and stop catering to Grandma. Did Pascal forget already?
Sigh.
Hugh arrives to take Enid to the screening and she tells him she can't go. Hugh is pissed that he keeps driving all the way to Sweet Valley for nothing. He leaves. Enid starts screaming at Grandma that she's ruining all their lives and that she's just pretending she can't stay home alone to get attention.
Back to the B-plot. Cara arrives at the compound and is acting really weird. Jess thinks something might be up with her and Steven but Cara is avoiding the conversation. Enid shows up, so I guess she ditched Grandma. Good for her.
They watch the documentary. Everyone claps and declares it the best documentary that has ever documentaried. Liz is a hero. Again.
Back to the A-plot. Enid feels bad about leaving her grandma and starts to catastrophize that Grandma might be lying on the floor taking her last breath. As soon as the screening is over, she skips the party and rushes back home. To her surprise, Grandma is baking cookies when she gets there. Grandma sits her down and admits that she's been feeling sorry for herself since her husband died. She says that she was worried that Enid and Adele wouldn't have time for her so she made sure to get their time by acting helpless. She apologizes and they hug it out.
Grandma says that she's going to go back to Chicago for awhile to face the memories of her husband. She'll stay with friends while looking for an apartment. When she's made peace with everything back there, she'll come back to Sweet Valley for good.
Hugh arrives to apologize to Enid even though I'm pretty sure she's the one who should be apologizing. They hug it out too. Adele arrives home later to find the three of them eating cookies and playing charades.
We go back to the Wakefield Compound to wrap up the book. Jess and Lila talk about seeing some girl named Abbie at the party. They were friends a couple of years ago but then Abbie ditched them for a senior boy. Lila says she saw Abbie dancing with Steven.
The book ends there. I have no idea what to think of it. The A-plot was annoying and I'll never see Enid as anything but a selfish whiner again but at least it wasn't racist this time. The bar is in hell. The B-plot was completely pointless as usual. I know we have to see the twins doing something in their own book, but does it always have to be a throwaway?
I just want to know who was reading these in the 80's and why. I must be missing something.
Coming up Next: Does Steven have a case of the Cheater Fever? Will Abbie come between him and Cara. I'm sure you're dying to know.
