Monday, January 16, 2023

Say Goodbye (SVH #23) by Francine Pascal (Kind of)

 **This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.


Tag Line: Can Elizabeth survive the heartache of losing Todd?

From the Back of the Book: A time for tears...Elizabeth Wakefield's heart is breaking. Todd Wilkins, her longtime boyfriend, is leaving Sweet Valley and moving to Vermont. Todd and she have only one week left. After that the only boy Elizabeth has ever loved will be gone – forever. Jessica, Elizabeth's scheming twin, is ecstatic; she never liked Todd anyway. The moment Todd leaves, Jessica begins to hunt for a new boyfriend for Elizabeth. But when Jessica's plot backfires, it threatens to destroy Elizabeth and Todd's enduring love!


Enduring love. Gag me.

I can already tell I'm going to hate this book.  Anytime Jess is referred to as "scheming" on the back, Pascal goes to ridiculous lengths to make her look bad.  Why does Pascal hate Jess so damn much? It's pathological.


Meet the Cast

*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.

*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies

*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer

*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer

*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole

*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type

*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team

*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money

*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money

*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd

There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.

This book was published in 1985 and this is my first time reading it. Liz looks like a toddler throwing a fit on the cover. Also, were all the female cover models super short or were they having the male cover models stand on a stool or something? Why is there always this huge height difference? The twins are supposed to be like 5'6” or something which means they aren't short. I don't think Todd was 6'6” so he shouldn't be towering over her like that.

In the last book, DeeDee and Bill took up more pages than the Wakefield princesses for the first time in the series. DeeDee was terrified of losing Bill and ended up smothering him in an attempt to stay close. She wouldn't do anything without him and ended up neglecting her own hobbies. They broke up and she got her shit together so they decided to give it another try by the end of the book. Liz was supposed to be putting on a talent show but did jack shit to actually organize it so DeeDee had to pull that together too. Jess threw a party that got out of hand but had no real consequences. And we found out that Todd's dad was being transferred to Vermont and Todd would be moving out of SV for good.

Missing, Presumed Dead: George and Robin are still missing. DeeDee, Bill and Patty have all vanished from Sweet Valley as well. I suspect we'll never see Patty again.

Released from the Wakefield Dungeon: No one. Not only are George and Robin still there but they got a lot of company this time around. Those Wakefields are diabolical.

We begin the book with Jess “wailing” at Liz to open the door. Why the fuck does Pascal like the word “wail” so much? Stine does too and I'll never understand it. Liz is in her room crying because Todd will be leaving in a week to go to Vermont. Jess feels bad for her sister but thinks it might actually be a blessing in disguise. She thinks Todd is really boring and that her sister can do better.

She's right. Todd is very toxic. His temper is a little scary at times, he can be really controlling and he doesn't give a fuck about Liz's feelings most of the time. Then again, Liz doesn't really care about his either, so....



Now we're with Liz, crying in Todd's arms. This is going to be a fun book. Sigh. They go on and on for several paragraphs about how much they're going to miss each other. It's already getting old and we're only about 10 pages in. I get it. If my boyfriend had moved across the country when I was that age, I would also think my life was ending. That doesn't mean it makes an interesting book, though.

Later we get a dinner scene with the entirety of the Wakefield family. EvilNed is upset about a charge Jess made on his credit card without his permission and he tells her she needs to do some kind of work to pay off the bill. Is this going to be our B-plot? I guess time will tell. Nothing else happens.

The next day, Enid shows up to check on Liz. Liz cries a lot and says all the same things she said in chapter one. Enid asks if she and Todd have discussed whether they're going to stay monogamous or if they'll see other people while he's gone. Liz gets really pissed and says she'll never date anyone but him and she hopes he feels the same way. She's determined to make a long-distance relationship work when they two of them can barely maintain a relationship in person.



We land with Jess after school. Her idiot brother Steven is teasing her about the “job search” so I guess that $90 debt is going to be our B-plot after all. It turns out Jess got a job as a receptionist for a computer dating agency. Wow. Computer dating goes back WAY further than I thought it did. Steven reminds her that she isn't exactly good at making love connections but Jess doesn't pay him any attention. That's a good policy to have, Jess. I don't pay him any attention either.



Now we're back with Liz. Steven comes to check on her and she reminds herself that whatever pain she's going through right now isn't as bad as Steven's pain when he lost his girlfriend Tricia to leukemia. Todd is moving away but at least he'll still be alive and they can talk on the phone and hopefully eventually visit each other. Steven can't do that. He asks her if she intends to date other people and she says 'no'. He's seen a lot of his dorm mates attempt long-distance relationships and he warns Liz that there's a lot of jealousy involved and it very rarely works out. She insists that she and Todd will be the rare teenage couple to make it and Steven doesn't try to bring her back to reality.



It's Saturday afternoon now and Jess is working. Her boss is named Mary Ann but I'm just going to call her Mary because I'm lazy like that. Mary has gone to lunch and left Jess alone to handle the office on her very first day of work which just seems like a bad decision. Jess is 16 years old and she's never done this kind of work before. What about that screams 'capable of managing an office on her very first day' to you? Mary even gives her the keys to the office so Jess can read the files and familiarize herself with how the agency works. Jess plans to use them to scope out a new girlfriend for Steven.

Never change, Jess. Never change.

We skip from work to Todd's going away party that Enid organized. Jess spots Nicholas and thinks that maybe she can encourage him to cheer Liz up after Todd's gone. She thinks Nicholas will make a much better boyfriend for Liz than Todd. Jess. We've already read this book. Nicholas was led on by Liz and then dumped. If I were him, I'd run far away from that Wakefield bitch.

By the way, whatever happened to his sister Regina? I mean, I know she left the country to get that treatment that might help restore her hearing but no one ever talks about her anymore. Not even Bruce who is supposed to be madly in love with her.

(((Note from future me: Bruce does mention her later when he talks with Liz about how hard long-distance relationships are.  It's nice to see that Pascal and Co remember she exists.)))



Liz and Todd duck out of the party to spend some time alone. They make out for awhile, cry in each other's arms, bemoan their predicament and vow to stay together forever. Todd gives her a gold locket and makes sure she knows that the idea of her dating anyone else will kill him. She assures him that he's the only one for her.



We're back with Jess and the B-plot. She's at work digging through files to find Steven a date. It's not going well. She finally finds three that she thinks might work but they're all wildly inappropriate for her brother.  None of them are looking for a 19-year-old college guy who doesn't have a job and lives in a dorm. One of the women is 43 for fuck's sake. I don't know what she's thinking. She calls the older woman and gives her Steven's number, telling her that the computer matched them up.




Back with Liz and the A-plot. She's at Todd's house watching his family load the car with suitcases. They hold each other and cry some more and say all the same things they've been saying for four chapters. It's really repetitive and boring at this point. Liz watches him go and sobs. By the time she gets home, she's completely numb. She tells her family not to worry about her and then shuts herself up in her room for the rest of the day.



We skip ahead an entire week. Liz isn't handling the separation well and Jess is starting to lose her patience.

I hate to point this out but we are 1/3 of the way through this book and barely anything has happened. Honestly, the events that have taken place so far could have taken up four or five paragraphs. How the hell has she managed to S*T*R*E*T*C*H it out over 50 pages?

Sigh.

Jess thinks that Liz is being silly for writing endless letters to Todd and waiting at home in case he calls. She vents about it to her friend Cara but Cara takes Liz's side. She seems upset so Jess asks her what's wrong. Cara says her dad moved out and her parents are almost definitely going to get a divorce now. Jess is annoyed that everyone is “depressed” and “crazy” lately and just has zero empathy for her friend. She tells Cara that she's going to ask creepy Mr Collins to give Liz a big assignment to keep her mind off Todd for awhile. Cara reluctantly agrees that it's a good idea but is suspicious about Jess's motives. For good reason. Jess wants Liz to cover the sailing races so she'll be forced to interview Nicholas and will forget about Todd.

We skip to the next day. Jess is hanging out at the Dairi Burger with Nicholas. She encourages him to call Liz and ask her to be his date for the races. He's not so sure. He reminds Jess that Liz loves Todd and she's in a bad place right now. Jess brushes this off. She says Todd was like cigarettes to Liz. She got addicted to him and now she's going through withdrawal but sooner or later she'd be cured. She thinks Nicholas might speed up the curing process. He agrees to give it a shot but he's clearly worried about getting his heart stomped on again.

For good reason.  The odds are 100% that Liz is definitely going to crush him by the end of the book.



Nicholas ends up calling Liz and offering her a ride to the races. She refuses at first but he tells her that he could really use a friend to help soothe his nerves. His dad is really putting pressure on him to win and he's afraid of disappointing his father. She finally decides that there's nothing wrong with comforting a friend and agrees to go. After he calls, Steven calls to tell her that some weird, older woman has been calling him non-stop trying to ask him out on a date. He's really freaked out about it because she's almost as old as their parents. Liz tells Jess about it and Jess realizes that the match probably isn't going to work and she should move on to the next one.

Why did Steven call Liz to tell her about this?  I mean, I know Pascal had to introduce it into the plot somehow but this feels odd.  It's not like Steven calls Liz on the regular to fill her in about his life.  They just don't have that kind of relationship.  It feels odd to me that this would happen.  I think it would have been more natural to have him over for dinner again and then he could mention it to his parents.  That would have made more sense.

We skip ahead to the race. Nicholas barely beats Bruce but ends up winning. He invites Liz and Jess to a party on his dad's yacht afterwards. Liz is reluctant but Nicholas reassures her that he just wants to be a good friend to her in her time of need. She isn't sure she trusts him and I'm not either. He might be telling the truth. Who knows? After the party, he invites Liz and Jess to a family barbecue the next day. She hesitates but ends up agreeing to go.

At the barbecue, Nicholas admits that he's attracted to Liz and asks her if she and Todd are seeing other people. She says they aren't but he asks her to a movie anyway. She assumes that he's asking her as a friend because she just finished telling him that she's not dating other people so she agrees. He tells her he's glad she's giving him a chance and kisses her on the nose. Liz is horrified. She realizes that Nicholas isn't really listening to her and decides that she can't keep spending time with him because he's getting the wrong idea.

I know Nicholas is going to get stomped but now I don't feel too bad for him at this point.  She's told him multiple times what the situation is and he's just choosing not to listen to her.  This is on him from here.



We land in Jess's head again. Liz is at Enid's so she ends up taking the call when Todd phones. She tells Todd that Liz is spending her entire life writing to him and waiting for his calls and she's falling behind on her schoolwork and is barely writing for the paper anymore. She encourages Todd to let Liz go so Liz can get back to living her life.



We skip ahead to the next week. Despite Liz's vow not to spend any more time with Nicholas, she ends up going to the movie with him anyway. She's been trying to reach Todd all week but he's not returning her calls so she's kind of a nervous, paranoid wreck right now thinking she did something to make him mad. I can't believe he's ghosting her instead of just telling her that he wants her to date other people or whatever. It's very hurtful and immature of him. Nicholas can tell she's upset and he puts his arm around her during the movie. She feels safe with him, like he's her big brother. When he takes her home, however, he traces her lips with his finger and then kisses her in a very unbrotherly way. She kisses him back because she's lonely and confused. He asks if he can take her out again next weekend and she tells him to call her.

Seriously, Liz? What the fuck are you doing? Talk about sending mixed signals.

Everyone is horrible here.

The week passes and Liz doesn't hear from Todd at all. He doesn't return her calls and he doesn't write. She's crushed and convinced that he's probably found another girl. So she decides to just keep moving on with Nicholas.

Nicholas deserves better but also he kind of chose his own fate here. 



This book is nearly over and I'm bored out of my mind so you guys are getting bullet points from now on. Sorry. But not really.

*Jess arranges for bachelorette #2 to come to the house and meet Steven. It doesn't go well because she's too old for him too and looking for a philosophical man. He figures out what Jess is doing but she doesn't let that deter her.  Unfortunately #3 has given up men for food so that's a dead end.

*Steven and Enid both tell Liz that she's rebounding with Nicholas and not really having feelings for him. They both encourage her to write to Todd to tell him how much his ghosting her has hurt and then move on from there.

*Liz realizes that she needs to learn to live life without Todd whether they stay together or break up. She decides to stop leading Nicholas on because she isn't in love with him and probably never will be.

*Todd comes back to SV to handle some things for his dad relating to the sale of their house or something. He decides he needs to see Liz but is too cowardly to talk to her alone so decides to go to Lila's party to talk to her there instead.

*On the way to Lila's party, Steven sees Cara pulled off on the side of the road with a flat tire. He stops to help and finds her crying. He changes the tire and then asks her to get some coffee with him. She tells him all about her parents' divorce and her father's move to Chicago. Her younger brother went with her father so they're split up now too. He feels bad for her and asks her to go to Lila's party with him. She accepts.

*Jess finishes off the B-plot by making enough money to pay off her debt and then quitting her job.  I feel kind of bad for Mary who will now have to poorly train a replacement.

*Todd arrives at the party and finds Liz dancing with Nicholas. He takes off. Liz tries to find him but can't so she asks Nicholas to take her home. On the drive she tells him that she just wants to be friends because she's not over Todd. He says that's fine but she'll need to stick with it because his heart can't take her indecisiveness. He insists it's not fair to him that she strings him along like she does.  I'd agree but this time she was pretty clear.  In the beginning at least.

*Liz drives all over town looking for Todd and eventually finds him sitting in his old backyard in the dark. They talk and realize that they need to get on with their lives. They're always going to love each other but they have to move on.

*Betsy, Tricia's sister, shows up at Lila's party too and sees Steven and Cara together. She makes a huge scene, accusing him of forgetting her sister and moving on too fast even thought it's been.....I don't know. The timeline is so fucked up right now. We rewinded an entire summer. I have no idea how long Tricia has been gone but it's been long enough that Steven can dance with another girl at a party.

And that was it. That was the whole book. Wow. I finished it in about two hours. It was almost entirely repetition and nothingness.

Coming up next: Betsy fucks with Steven's head and keeps him from moving on.

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