**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Painful lies... It's every girl's dream at Sweet Valley High to attend the fabulous Bridgewater Ball, and Susan Steward has the chance to go with handsome, wealthy Gordon Stoddard. Nobody knows where Susan gets her money and style – or who her real parents are – but everyone agrees she's beautiful, friendly and fun to be with. Then jealous Lila Fowler starts spreading vicious rumors about Susan's mother – who she really is and why she abandoned Susan. No one wants to talk to Susan anymore, not even Gordon. To clear her name, Susan has to find out the truth about her parents. But is she better off not knowing?
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1987 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is pretty lackluster. At least the girl doesn't look thirty.
In the last book, Johanna returned to school after dropping out for a year and got yanked around by Peter for way too long before deciding she deserved a boy who would treat her right. Jess tried to break up Cara and Steven for some reason and Liz just existed.
Missing, Presumed Dead: As expected, Johanna no longer exists. Once Pascal is done with you, you just sort of fade into nothingness. Just ask Patty, Eddie and Michael who were trotted out for one book and then were never seen again. Bruce and his cousin Roger also went missing in this book and no one seemed to notice. It's odd how people can just vanish in Sweet Valley for weeks at a time without anyone mentioning it.
Released From the Wakefield Dungeon: Unfortunately EvilNed and VileAlice made their escapes in this book. I was kind of hoping they'd stay gone for awhile. The only positive is that they brought Prince Albert topside with them. The dog was spotted several times in the house.
We begin with Liz reading an article about working mothers. She thinks that it's tragic that some women decide not to have kids because they want to focus on a career instead.
Fuck you, Liz. Already.
It's not tragic if a woman decides she doesn't want to juggle kids and a career and picks the career. Women can be fulfilled and happy without children.
VileAlice is also reading the paper and comes across the name Andrea VanAllen. Jess says she's super rich, lives in Bridgewater and does a lot of charity events. She's in charge of the upcoming Bridgewater Ball which is super exclusive and invitations are highly coveted. VileAlice murmurs that she really likes the name Andrea. Or Andrew.
(((Note from future me: I really thought Andrea was going to be a character in this book. That's why I bothered to mention her. She never comes up again.)))
Jess laments that they aren't rich enough and they don't live in a nice enough area to get an invite to the Ball. VileAlice tells her that they have plenty of money and Sweet Valley is perfect and superior in every way to every other place on earth. Mostly because the Wakefields live there and they are clearly perfect and superior to every other family on earth. After she makes that proclamation, VileAlice grimaces and presses a hand to her stomach. Liz asks if she's alright and her mother responds that she's been feeling a little “under the weather” lately but she has a doctor's appointment that afternoon so the twins shouldn't worry. Of course that just makes them worry because telling someone not to worry has never worked in the history of ever.
The twins head to school. Jess wants to take the Fiat to the shop because it's making a weird noise but Liz thinks she's overreacting. (((Note from future me: this never comes up again either.))) We then get the descriptions for the twins: sun-kissed hair, blue-green eyes that rival the sea, perfect size six figures....
In this book, Liz is described as practical and Jess is described as dramatic. I think I agree with those. I mean, practical is closer to the reality of Liz than the adjectives she usually gets assigned. Jess is definitely dramatic. Pascal says it like it's a bad thing but it isn't. Dramatic people make life interesting.
We skip ahead to school. Jess asks Lila if she's going to the Ball. Lila flushes but says that the Fowlers always get invited. She's not currently seeing anyone so she doesn't have a date but she's confident that will change before the actual event. Jess says that Susan is probably going and Lila snaps that “Nobodies don't go to the Bridgewater Ball”.
Bitchy.
But on brand for status-obsessed Lila.
We learn that Susan lives with a caregiver but no one actually knows who her parents are. It's assumed that they're wealthy because Susan has one of the best wardrobes in the entire school. She even out-dresses Lila. Jess calls over to Susan to ask if she's going to the Ball. Susan says she's going with Gordon. She asks Lila who she's going with and Lila is forced to admit she doesn't have a date. Winston goofily offers to take her even though he's dating Maria and then somehow ends up dancing around the room with Ken. It's a bizarre scene.
We skip over to health class. They discuss fertility and Jess gets obsessed with the idea that her mother might be pregnant.
We finally land in Susan's head for the A-plot. She's at the country club in Bridgewater playing golf with Gordon and his parents. Mr Stoddard spends most of the time complaining about the “riff raff” they're letting in the club these days and how Sweet Valley has been going downhill. It used to be a place where “the right kind of people” lived but now it's “going to the dogs”. I can't disagree really. Susan wonders if she's the right kind of people.
Mrs Stoddard invites Susan to come to the new members meeting of the garden club. Susan pretends to be excited about it even though she considers gardening boring. She just wants to make a good impression on Gordon's parents. Gordon pulls her aside and apologizes for his parents' snobbery but Susan tells him not to worry about it. They finish up their game and go inside to eat. Lila and her dad wander over. The Stoddards talk to Mr Fowler a bit while Lila takes little jabs at Susan. Gordon doesn't defend her.
Susan goes home to the woman she calls Aunt Helen. She tells her about the golf game and then mentions the Ball. Helen often designs and sews Susan's clothes so she offers to make Susan's dress for the Ball. Susan thanks her and then goes off to her room. She wonders who Helen was to her mother. A friend? A trusted servant? She's asked many times but Helen says she won't answer any questions about Susan's family until her 18th birthday.
Helen works long hours as a waitress and moonlights as a seamstress. Susan figures it's just because she's bored because clearly she's being paid to be Susan's caretaker. I fear Susan may be a little dumb, y'all. Susan is mostly happy with her situation. She's curious about her parents but she loves Helen and often wishes that Helen was her mother. She recognizes that her social standing would be vastly different, however, if she was the daughter of a waitress. Right now everyone suspects her mother is rich and famous and they treat Susan accordingly. That would change if Helen was her mother.
Jess is sitting with her parents after dinner studying for her upcoming health quiz. Suddenly VileAlice starts demanding pistachio ice cream. She's never eaten it before and EvilNed kind of laughs at her for wanting it. VileAlice asks him to go get it but he's tired and doesn't want to leave the house. She gets pissed and slams out of the house to get it herself. Now Jess is super sure her mom is pregnant because she can't think of any other explanation for her behavior.
Jess goes upstairs to tell Liz that she thinks their mother is pregnant. Liz feels like the evidence is flimsy at best. The twins decide to spy on VileAlice to try to gather intel. I guess this is our B-plot. Why are these always so dumb? Why bother with a B-plot at all if it's going to be this stupid?
We skip to the next day at school. Liz realizes that Allen, the school photographer, has a crush on Susan. I'd completely forgotten who Allen was but he was the one who was dating Robin when she was sneaking around with George (who was dating Enid at the time). Liz encourages Allen to talk to Susan despite the fact she has a boyfriend. Her grand idea is that Allen should walk up to Susan and offer to take her picture. Liz thinks all rich people enjoy having their picture taken. It's so stupid and Allen points that out to Liz, saying that Susan would find the request odd. Liz keeps pushing him to talk to her, despite the fact he keeps saying he doesn't feel comfortable doing so. No means no, Liz.
Susan walks over and asks Allen a question about a class they share. He's nervous but manages to answer her. She thanks him and walks away. Liz thinks to herself that Allen would be a better boyfriend to Susan than Gordon.
(((Note from future me: At this point I was really confused because I didn't think Liz even knew Gordon. Based on the way his dad was talking, I assumed that the Stoddards lived in Bridgewater and not in Sweet Valley. It turns out I was wrong. I guess they're part of the riff raff after all.)))
We hop into Lila's head. She's seething about Susan for some reason and thinks she needs to be taught a lesson. We don't really learn why because that would mean Pascal gave a character some depth. Why would she start that 37 books in? Lila finds Caroline the gossip and tells her that Susan's mom is in a hospital for the criminally insane. Then she just sits back and watches the gossip train leave the station.
Back to the asinine B-plot. Jess is getting pretty excited about having a sibling. She goes to snoop in VileAlice's room and finds a bag from a baby store in the closet. The bag has a tiny baby sweater and hat in it. Jess tells Liz about her iron-clad evidence and they decide to go confront their mom. Instead, the overhear VileAlice tell EvilNed that she doesn't want to tell the kids until they're sure.
The twins think that VileAlice is afraid they'll throw a fit about her being pregnant so they decide they'll just hint around about how they'd love to have a baby in the house. Unfortunately this just makes their parents think one of them is pregnant.
We skip to the next day. VileAlice is again reading the paper and tells the twins that some famous director named Jackson is coming to Sweet Valley to make a film. There's going to be an open casting call over the weekend to find extras. Liz mentions that his movies are very socially responsible and Jess starts dreaming about being on the big screen.
People start canceling plans with Susan because no one wants to be seen with her. The kids in SV are really ridiculous. People won't talk to her in the hall and Gordon is avoiding her. Poor Susan has no idea what's going on. When she finally manages to corner Gordon, he tells her that his parents don't want him to date her anymore. When she asks why, he tells her that people are saying that her mother is a murderer and is currently locked up in an asylum. He yells at her for lying about her famous mother and takes off.
Susan starts sobbing. Allen finds her and takes her into an empty classroom where he holds her until she calms down. He says he doesn't believe the rumor, but even if it's true, it doesn't change who Susan is. (#teamAllen) He offers her a ride home so she can talk to her aunt.
Even though Susan cries and begs, Helen refuses to tell her anything about her mother.
I'm beginning to suspect that Helen is her mother.
Liz reads an article that details the death of director Jackson's 14-year-old son the year before due to a drunk driver. The article mentions that Jackson will be donating his portion of the profits from the movie to Student's Against Drunk Driving. Liz finds this commendable and decides she wants to interview him about the accident and the donation for the paper.
Um....Liz....don't you think it might be a TAD insensitive to go up to a man you've never met and ask him if you can interview him about his son's death for your high school paper? Seriously. She has no empathy at all.
Jess summons Steven home to talk about the B-plot. At first he doesn't believe them but then he gets excited about the idea of having a baby sibling. They scheme together to think of a way to get VileAlice to admit she's pregnant and, in the end, come up with nothing. They're just going to keep telling their parents how much they love babies because that's not dumb.
Lila calls Jess to tell her that Gordon and Susan have broken up. This means Gordon needs a date for the Ball. Jess asks Lila if she's planning to snag him up and Lila pretends that she doesn't care about him or the Ball. Jess decides that means she's free to try to get Gordon for herself. Cue a ton of pages of Lila and Jess fighting for Gordon's attention. It's boring and I refuse to recap it. Fire me.
Liz finds out about everything that's been going on and goes to comfort Susan. She tells Susan that the rumor will blow over and everyone will forget it as soon as the next scandal comes along. Susan does not find this comforting at all. Liz is stunned that her mere presence didn't solve all of Susan's problems.
Allen goes to talk to Susan after Liz's failed attempt. He decides distraction is the way to go and asks her what she would do if she could do anything. She says she would be a waitress.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a waitress but would she really choose that over riding a dragon or swimming with mermaids or curing cancer or whatever? Susan needs to learn how to dream.
Allen asks Susan if she'll go out with him on Saturday which also happens to be the night of the Ball. Susan says she is no longer busy that evening and she'd love to go out with Allen.
We're in Helen's head now. She wants to tell Susan the truth but she's afraid of the fallout. Helen is, indeed, Susan's mother. She told everyone she was Susan's guardian because she didn't want to be shunned by society for being an unwed mother and she didn't want Susan to grow up with the stigma.
Seriously?
I swear these books are written like it's the 1950's. Susan must have been born in the 70's. No one cared.
Helen wanted people to think that Susan's mother was important so Susan could be popular. I guess she's been paying for all of Susan's expensive clothes herself. No wonder she has to work two jobs.
I swear if Susan's dad turns out to be director Jackson my head is going to explode.
Helen decides not to tell Susan because she doesn't want her daughter to be ashamed that she is only a waitress. If only she knew that Susan picked being a waitress over mermaids and dragons.
The doorbell rings and it's director Jackson.
Helen offers him condolences for his son and he replies “that's life, right”. I mean, everyone grieves differently but that feels cold. He asks to see Susan so I guess he knows about her which.....means he's just ignored her all these years and hasn't sent a dime of support? Fuck you, Jackson. We learn that Helen wrote to him to tell him about the baby but he never responded and then immediately married someone else. What a dick. He says he didn't pay child support because Helen didn't ask but that's bullshit. He should have paid for his child.
Susan comes home and we jump right into her head. Helen freaks out and runs to her room. Jackson introduces himself and tells Susan that he's her father. He apologizes for ignoring her for 16 years and says he wants to be in her life now. She just joyfully agrees. She asks about her mother and he says that Helen just needs time to sort out her feelings and that's how Susan learns that Helen is her mother. Jackson is shocked she didn't know and Susan is pissed because all she's ever wanted was a mother and Helen denied her that. She sobs in her new father's arms.
Why is she forgiving him for neglecting her for 16 damn years? Why does he just get a free pass for being a deadbeat dad who only showed up when his other kid died?
Jackson tries to explain the unwed mother stigma to Susan and she doesn't understand it anymore than I do. Jackson asks Susan to come live with him in LA. You know, now that his other child is dead and he needs a replacement. She says she'll think about it. He leaves.
Susan ends up forgiving Helen. They hug and cry and Susan tells her that she always wished Helen was her mother. They talk about Jackson's offer but Susan decides that she would miss Helen too much if she left SV.
To be honest, it doesn't really matter if she stays or if she goes. We'll probably never see her again.
Back to the B-plot where Jess has decided that VileAlice is probably having twins again.
We skip to the casting call. Most of SVH are there, including Aaron and Heather who are still together. I never expected to see Heather again but I'm glad she's still topside. Everyone is standing around gossiping. Jess finds out that Gordon asked Lila to the Ball and she's livid.
Liz trucks right up to Jackson with Jess in tow to ask him for the interview and he agrees to talk to her. She realizes that her original plan is horrifically insensitive and she can't think of any other questions so the interview doesn't happen at all. Susan rushes up to tell Jackson that she'd like to visit him in the future but she needs to stay with her mom for now. Jackson gets called away and Susan tells the twins that he's her father and Helen is her mother.
The news spreads like a common cold.
Later the Wakefield children decide they've had enough and they go to confront their parents about the pregnancy. VileAlice isn't pregnant. The big secret is that they're considering a month-long vacation alone. Meaning the twins would be left to their own devices for an entire month. I'm not sure they'd notice the difference considering how hands-off their parents are. The baby clothes Jess found were for a baby shower VileAlice was invited to. Thankfully the B-plot ends there.
Everyone starts being nice to Susan again and it's disgusting. Gordon even re-asks her the Ball and she says 'yes' for some unfathomable reason. Liz reminds her of her date with Allen on the same night. Susan goes to tell Allen that she can't go but then she remembers how he was the only one who was nice to her when everyone thought her mother was a murderer. She decides to tell Gordon to jump in the ocean instead. Gordon turns to Lila to re-ask her but she dumps a drink on his head.
Out of nowhere, Regina rocks up with a brochure for a boarding school in Switzerland that emphasizes creative writing. This has nothing to do with anything and is clearly just shoe-horned in here to set up the next book. Liz is super interested in the school and dreams of going.
We can't get that lucky.
The book ends there.
Up Next: Will Liz decide to go to Switzerland?
Again....we can't get that lucky.
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