**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
*NOTE: I am very aware that these books were written by ghost writers but since Pascal put her name on the cover, I'm holding her solely responsible for everything that happens on these pages.
From the Back of the Book: Ronnie Edwards is having the time of his life. By betting successfully on high school sports, he's made more money than he knows what to do with. He's even offered Jessica Wakefield a loan. Unfortunately, he hasn't been keeping up with payments to his bookie, Big Al. When Big Al decides to collect, Ronnie's out of cash. So Big Al offers him another option: if Ronnie can fix the state championship soccer game, Big Al will forget about Ronnie's debt. Ronnie turns to the only friend he has-Elizabeth Wakefield's boyfriend, Jeffrey French, star soccer player for Sweet Valley High. A college scout is coming to see the game, and if Jeffrey doesn't play his best, he'll jeopardize his future. But if he doesn't help Ronnie out, his friend may not have a future.
TRIGGER WARNING📢: There is a brief hostage situation in this book. It’s not prolonged or dramatic and I’m barely going to mention it but if you think it would harm you in any way, please skip this recap. 😘
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's generic best friend
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*DisgustingBruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1988 and this is my first time reading it. Whichever Wakefield that is on the cover looks like she’s 70 years old. They really aged her on this one.
In the last book, Jade was torn between staring in the school music program and obeying her traditional Chinese father who didn't want her to dance in public. In the end, she gets his permission and goes on to impress the entire town. A boy named David festishized her for being Asian and lots of characters said some fairly racist things - including Jade herself. The B-plot centered around EvilNed and his angst over growing older.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Kirk the Jerk, Questionable Mr Collins, Josh, Caroline, CreepySteven and Roger remain underground where I’m sure they are getting the very best of Wakefield care. 😆 They were joined this time by Jade and David who have faded from existence now that the music program is over. There wasn’t even a single mention of the event in this book. Maria has also vanished from Sweet Valley. It took me awhile to notice but there was no trace of her anywhere.
Released from the Wakefield Dungeon: Enid and Julie made a run for it and were seen topside several times. Julie even remembered she had a sister and dragged Johanna (who may or may not still be enrolled in SVH depending on the day) to a soccer game. Jean and Olivia finally dug their way out as well and unfortunately they didn’t close the opening before slimy DisgustingBruce managed to slither through. Pity.
We begin with Liz and Enid at a soccer game. If SVH loses, their season is over. If they win, they’ll go onto a playoff game with Big Mesa. It’s a big game, so pretty much the whole school is there, including Julie who must have made her escape from the dungeon with Enid.
Jess is cheering at the game so ghostie takes this opportunity to launch into our regularly scheduled twin descriptions. She spends most of her time talking about how physically flawless the two are with their perfect bodies and blue-green eyes.
When she switches to comparing the personalities of these blonde demons, she makes Liz’s sound like a personal ad. “Elizabeth liked long walks with Jeffrey and deep talks late into the night with Enid.” Okay. Does she also like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain? Jess doesn’t get the same treatment. Of course. Why would she? It just says that Jess' interests change based on what she finds exciting. Right. Like most humans? We do learn that Jess is into making earrings now and she’s still dating AJ which has to be a record for her.
Jeffrey scores the winning goal because of course he does. They all go to the Dairi Burger afterward and everyone is fawning all over Jeffrey who pretends to be embarrassed by the attention. We meet several of his teammates – Tony who may or may not be the same guy who slut shamed Annie a million books ago, Michael who is definitely not the one who was engaged to Maria or the one from Big Mesa that looked like Todd and Brad who I'm pretty sure is making his very first appearance in the series. Seriously, Pascal, does everyone have to be named Michael? This is our third one. Get another name.
Aaron is still on the team as well and Liz tells us that he’s doing much better now that Jeffrey got him into therapy. All hail Jeffrey I guess.
I mean, he is better than Todd.
But that’s not a very high bar.
Enid shows up with Hugh and I can’t believe he still exists. I’d forgotten all about him. It gets really awkward when Ronnie shows up at the table. He’s the asshole that slut shamed and sexually harassed Enid while they were dating. Liz notes that Ronnie is wearing designer clothes when he used to live in t-shirts and ripped jeans. Ronnie tries to order drinks for the table but they aren’t paying much attention to him. He pulls out a wad of money and starts waving it around, bragging that it’s leftover from buying his mustang convertible. Jess demands to know where he got the money and he says he earned it through his “connections”.
That doesn’t sound shady at all.
Liz notes that three tough-looking guys at the counter seem to be paying Ronnie and his money a lot of attention. It makes her uneasy. Jeffrey seems disgusted with Ronnie’s bragging and walks off. Enid and Hugh soon follow. Jess turns the conversation to the earrings she’s hoping to start selling and Ronnie just hovers around awkwardly for a minute as the entire table ignores him.
One of the tough guys comes over to Ronnie and says he overheard about the mustang. He asks if he can see it and the two of them go outside. Liz watches as the other two tough guys wait a minute and then follow. Alarmed, she goes to tell Jeffrey that she thinks Ronnie might be in some trouble. He immediately heads outside.
We jump into Ronnie’s head. The tough dude says he wants to show Ronnie his car but it’s parked out back. Without a single care in the world, Ronnie starts to follow him behind the building like a big dumb idiot. As he goes, he tells us that he’s been incredibly lucky recently making bets with a bookie called Big Al. Not lucky enough to actually buy a mustang though. That was a lie. The car was on loan from Big Al.
When Ronnie gets to the alley behind the store, the other two guys appear and demand his money.
We’re with Jeffrey now. He finds Ronnie being roughed up in the alley. He walks up and tells the three guys to leave Ronnie alone. They’re intimidated by this six foot tall 16-year-old but they try to act tough. Jeffrey grabs the collar of the nearest one’s leather jacket and hisses “try me”.
Seriously, Pascal. Do you expect us to buy this? Are we legit supposed to believe that Jeffrey is capable of intimidating three grown ass thugs?
Two of the guys run away and the third starts blubbering that they were just playing around. Jeffrey tells him to run and he does.
Look, Pascal, I can only suspend my disbelief so far. This is ridiculous.
Ronnie thanks Jeffrey for saving his life. He confides that he isn’t much of a fighter and then offers to pay Jeffrey for his help. Jeffrey refuses. He’s seen Ronnie hanging out with Big Al and made the assumption that Ronnie is betting on high school sports games. The idea makes Jeffrey sick. Ronnie swears to pay Jeffrey back somehow.
They walk back to the diner. Jeffrey finds Ronnie irritating but tells himself that the guy just needs friends. No one seems to like him.
Because he’s an abusive asshole, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey feels that Ronnie wouldn’t be so “aggressive” if people were nicer to him…………………..
I swear…..Pascal…..just don’t.
We’re with Liz and it’s a day or two….or twelve….later. She’s waiting on Jeffrey to join her for lunch. Cara walks up wearing a pair of Jess’s earrings. Liz thinks they’re ugly but gives them a feeble compliment when Jess asks if she likes them. Jess says she’s meeting with a boutique owner after school to show her some samples. Liz couldn’t care less.
Jeffrey shows up with Ronnie following after him. Liz snubs Ronnie but Jess asks him to stick around and give his opinion on the earrings. He stammers out a few compliments. Jess says that there’s a huge market for them but she doesn’t have the money to produce the stock she needs because beads are so expensive. Jess sighs and says she needs a financial backer. Ronnie asks how much she needs and she says $500. She bats her eyes at him which annoys AJ. Ronnie brags that he could loan her $1000 and tells her to just let him know when she needs it.
Liz is frustrated because Jeffrey spends the rest of the lunch period talking to Ronnie about a social studies assignment. Afterwards, she tells him that she’s frustrated that he dared to ignore her. Jeffrey repeats that he thinks Ronnie just needs a friend. Liz tells him that Ronnie was horrible to Enid while they were dating. Jeffrey doesn’t seem to care about that. Sweet Valley has finally infected him, I fear.
We’re back with Jeffrey. He’s in chemistry class but he’s thinking about the game against Big Mesa. One of their players is rumored to be injured and Jeffrey’s confident that they can win with him out of the game. The teacher reminds them that there’s a test on Friday and Jeffrey panics. If he gets below a C in chemistry, he won’t be able to play in the game on Saturday. One of the players asks if they can take the test during lunch on Friday because they’ll be too distracted to take it during last period. The teacher agrees.
Jeffrey heads to practice and gets intercepted by Ronnie. He tries to swerve him but Ronnie is persistent. He says that he’s having financial issues and asks Jeffrey for $100. Jeffrey presses for details and Ronnie admits that he owes some bookies in LA $2000. His plan is to borrow a little from every friend he has and then he can pay the bookie.
I thought he didn’t have friends, Pascal?
Jeffrey offers to give him $25 and tells him to stop gambling. Ronnie promises to think about it.
We’re with Jess and the earring B-plot. She goes to a boutique called Treasure Island after school. She shows three pairs of her earrings to the owner who isn’t impressed. Lila and Amy appear and pretend not to know Jess. They make a huge fuss over the earrings. The boutique owner falls for it and allows Jess to display a few pieces.
We land in Ronnie’s head and get back to the A-plot. He’s headed to Bruce’s house for a frat meeting. I forgot he was part of that. The first person he sees is Winston. He asks him for money and Bruce overhears. Damn. I was hoping Bruce would stay in the dungeon. Bruce makes a big deal of Ronnie needing money and now the entire fraternity is laughing at him. Tom, Bill, the other Michael and Winston all claim to be broke. Bruce just can’t be bothered.
Ronnie is forced to call Big Al and tell him he doesn’t have the money.
I thought he owed the money to LA bookies, Pascal. If Big Al is indeed an LA bookie, how did a high school kid in Sweet Valley run across him?
Big Al is pissed. Ronnie begs for mercy. Big Al tells him how he can make it up to him but we don’t get to hear that conversation.
Back to Jess and the B-plot, two days later. The owner of Treasure Island asks her to stop by for a chat. Apparently the jewelry has been selling well and the owner wants to order some more pieces. She tells Jess that she’ll take whatever Jess has and then, if it continues to sell, she’ll order more periodically. Jess is thrilled.
We land back in Jeffrey’s head. Ronnie corners him after school to tell him that Big Al had an idea of how Ronnie could pay him back. If SVH wins the soccer game on Saturday by exactly two points, Ronnie can make enough to settle his debt. He asks Jeffrey to make sure – somehow – SVH wins by two points. Jeffrey is furious and tells him ‘no’. Ronnie begs him to at least consider it and then shouts “you can’t do this to me” when Jeffrey refuses. He starts crying and hints that Big Al might actually kill him.
We skip right over to Liz’s head. She comes around the corner and hears Ronnie begging Jeffrey to think about it. Jeffrey says he will. She’s very suspicious. Ronnie takes off when he sees her and she immediately demands to know what they were talking about. Jeffrey evades the question and she’s hurt because he won’t tell her exactly what she wants to know exactly when she wants to know it. Liz doesn’t know the mean of ‘none of your business’.
Liz throw a little fit about Jeffrey spending more time with Ronnie than he does with her. Jeffrey snaps at her for being ridiculous and then says he needs to go home to study for the chemistry test.
We’re back with Jeffrey again and suddenly it’s Thursday. He’s at practice but he’s distracted thinking about Ronnie’s situation. Ronnie called him the night before and got hysterical when Jeffrey refused to help him. Jeffrey feels guilty but also feels a very strong pull to stick to his morals.
Now we’re with Jess and the B-plot. VileAlice teases her about the earring business ending up like the TofuGlo MLM disaster. Jess isn’t amused. VileAlice tries to discourage Jess from pursuing her dream of being a jewelry designer but ends up agreeing to loan her $200 for supplies. Jess runs straight upstairs to call the supplier. He upsells her quite a bit and the bill ends up being just over $900. Jess remembers that Ronnie offered her a loan, so she places the order.
We’re back with Ronnie on Friday morning. He notices a car following him to school but tries not to be paranoid. When he stops in the lot, however, a big man with sunglasses gets out of the car and approaches him. Ronnie speeds out of the parking lot and the man jumps back into his car to follow. There’s a chase. I think it’s supposed to be intense but it’s just lame due to the skill set of the author. Ronnie ends up trapping himself at a dead end near the beach. He gets out and tries to make a run for it but the guy grabs him. He punches Ronnie a few times and throws him in the wet sand, warning him that worse will happen if he doesn’t pay up.
Go to the cops already, idiot. You're a minor. You're going to get in way less trouble than the adults in this situation.
We end up with Liz eating lunch with Enid and Olivia who finally escaped from the dungeon. She didn’t bring Roger with her. I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t bring my ex either. Enid is just being a mega bitch and making fun of Jess’ earrings. I can’t believe I ever thought she was likable. It makes sense now why she’s friends with Liz. Liz laughs along with her because she’s an awful sister.
Ronnie rushes up looking for Jeffrey. Liz tells him about the chemistry test that’s being given early to all the soccer players. Ronnie asks what room he’s in but Liz refuses to answer because she doesn’t want Jeffrey to be disturbed. Ronnie runs off to find it himself while Liz seethes.
Now we’re with Jeffrey. He’s really struggling with his exam and freaking out because he needs at least a C in the class to keep playing soccer. He has 3 questions to go when he hears Ronnie out in the hall begging the teacher to talk to Jeffrey. The teacher says Ronnie can’t disturb the test but Ronnie keeps insisting it’s important because he has ZERO respect for boundaries or other people’s feelings. The teacher finally threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t go away. Jeffrey’s concentration is completely shot and he just scribbles things on the last questions so he can turn it in on time. He’s furious with Ronnie.
Ronnie grabs him as soon as he leaves the room and tells him all about what happened on the beach. He begs Jeffrey for help. Jeffrey refuses. Ronnie asks him if a soccer game is really more important than saving someone’s life. It’s manipulative as fuck and it works. Jeffrey agrees to help.
They’re both acting like this is completely in Jeffrey’s control and it just isn’t. He can’t guarantee that the others will play in a way that will enable him to keep SVH two points ahead of Big Mesa. There’s a lot of moving parts to this and he only has control over how he plays. They’re acting like he’s the only one who scores and therefore he can make sure the point spread is what it needs to be.
We’re back with Jess and the B-plot. She corners Ronnie after he talks to Jeffrey and asks him for the $1000 loan he promised. He tells her that he doesn’t have any money to give her. She glares at him but somehow that fails to make the money magically appear.
We land in Liz’s head for a few seconds as she heads to the Oracle office. She’s upset because Jeffrey has told her all about the Ronnie situation and she can’t believe he promised to try to fix the point spread. Nothing else happens except Penny and John make a very brief appearance in the office. Still no sign of Questionable Mr Collins, however.
We go right back to Jess. She asks her mom if she can open a credit card to pay for her supplies. For some reason, VileAlice just hands over one of hers. Not only is this an incredibly stupid thing to do, it’s also wildly out of character. VileAlice isn’t exactly what we can call supportive most of the time. She’s made it pretty clear that she thinks Jessica is going to fail at jewelry designing and any money spent will be wasted. So why the sudden character change, Pascal?
Now we’re back with Liz. This is getting ludicrous. Liz walks to soccer practice with John the sports editor. Winston, Bill and DeeDee are there already. I just realized Maria is missing. I guess I need to add her to the dungeon. I hope the others let her have some gruel. As they watch the boys practice, John mentions that a scout from Branford College will be at the game to look at Jeffrey. Why? He’s only a junior.
Okay, y’all……..something really bizarre happens after Jeffrey’s done with practice. He meets Liz and suddenly she has no idea about Ronnie/Big Al/the point spread. Pascal just got finished telling us that Jeffrey told her everything before practice so why is she suddenly clueless? Did Pascal forget? Was there an egregious editing mistake? I guess we’ll never know but Jeffrey ends up having to re-explain everything to Liz who immediately gets all sanctimonious about Jeffrey “betraying his team” even though the idea is for the team to win. Jeffrey is disappointed in her for not caring that something awful might happen to Ronnie. She says she doesn’t care because Ronnie is an awful person.
I get her point. I’m finding it hard to care too. But I’m not the ‘moral compass’ of Sweet Valley High. I’m a petty bitch with a justice kink and I think Ronnie is getting back some of what he gave out but Liz…..Pascal keeps telling us Liz is above all that. She should absolutely be prioritizing Ronnie’s well-being even if he’s an abusive asshole. Furthermore, she should be telling Jeffrey that it’s his responsibility as Ronnie’s friend to fix this like the stance she took with Justin. Again, this is out of character for Liz. It’s like Pascal has forgotten who these people are.
Liz tells Jeffrey about the scout coming to see him and now Jeffrey is just an absolute fucking nervous wreck. He doesn’t know what to do or how to get out of this without ruining someone’s life.
I mean, he could start by telling an adult what’s going on. This kind of betting is illegal. All he has to do is go to his coach and this would all be off his shoulders.
We’re back with Jess and the B-plot. You know, I haven't been hating this B-plot for once. It's way more interesting than EvilNed's mid-life crises. She’s desperate to make more stock for Treasure Island so she spends all Friday evening and Saturday morning making jewelry in the garage. She’s about to deliver it when the owner calls to tell her that the shop is changing focus to shoes and clothes and cutting back drastically on jewelry. As such, there is no longer any room for Jess’ creations. Jess refuses to accept this and gets Lila to drive her down there so she can argue her case in person. It doesn’t work. Now Jess has $900 worth of supplies and stock and nowhere to sell it.
We’re back with Liz. She gets to the game but sees Ronnie being shoved into a car by a tough looking guy. Pascal really needs to learn some new descriptors. Everyone is tough-looking. Anyway, Liz gets back into her car to follow them like an idiot because she thinks she can save the day. She’s Pascal’s darling after all.
We land in Jeffrey’s head and he’s a nervous wreck. He gets a note delivered to the sidelines which reads: “French: If you want to see your little pal again, just make sure you don’t play your best today. Big Al.”
Big Al signs his threats/admissions of game fixing, y’all. Brilliant.
Unfortunately we land right back with Liz. She follows the car to the bad part of Sweet Valley and watches as Ronnie is taken into an abandoned warehouse. Does she immediately call the police? Nope. She gets out of her car and goes up the window to look inside. I swear Jess must have had possession of the brain cell today. She sees the man with a noose in his hands and she runs to a nearby phone booth to call 911. She didn’t even get in her car and drive to a safer location. Idiot.
Naturally the man grabs her before she can make the call and he drags her into the warehouse and ties her to a chair.
Fuck.
Now I have to trigger warning this bitch. We were doing so well for once.
So the dude’s name is Max and he works for Big Al of course. This is the second Max we’ve had in the SV universe. Pascal, I implore you, get a baby name book. There’s a million names out there that you could use. Stop using the same ones over and over. It gets confusing.
Max tells Liz that if Jeffrey fucks this up, he’s going to get punished right along with Ronnie. Liz loses her bloody mind and Max taunts her with threats to break Jeffrey’s knees, etc. While she’s being all hysterical, Ronnie sneaks up behind Max and hits him over the head with a convenient glass bottle.
Liz and Ronnie escape. This time they drive to a safe location and then Ronnie goes to a phone booth to call the police. He tells them all about Big Al and Max and then he and Liz head for the game to talk to Jeffrey.
Liz runs right up to the sidelines and orders the coach to call a timeout so they can talk to Jeffrey. He actually does.
This is not how sports work, Pascal. No coach would waste a precious timeout so a girl could talk to her boyfriend. Timeouts are used very strategically in sports and can be the reason a team wins or loses the game. There’s a science to it.
I was telling my husband about this idiocy and he frowned and said “I don’t know about high school soccer but college/professional soccer doesn’t even have timeouts.” Now I have to research.
So, he was right. There are no timeouts in soccer. In some locations, brief breaks are allowed for hydration purposes if it’s really hot but otherwise the coach cannot stop the clock. Pascal did ZERO research.
Liz tells Jeffrey that Big Al has been handled and the threat to Ronnie is over. Conveniently the police arrive right exactly then and arrest Big Al. They also take Ronnie away for questioning. Jeffrey returns to the game and naturally turns everything around all on his own. The scout is impressed and Jeffrey is hailed as a hero when SVH wins by one point because he’s the only one on the team that matters.
We skip ahead two weeks. EvilNed gets the credit card bill and blows a gasket. He tells Jess she’s going to have to work to repay it. She jokingly says maybe she can get a job at Treasure Island and her dad says that sounds perfect. She’s horrified. She’s also given up on the earring idea because it’s just too hard to try to find another store to sell them in. The B-plot is wrapped.
The book ends with John being cranky in the Oracle office. Liz wonders what’s wrong with him.
That was…..lame.
This whole book was lame.
I thought these books were supposed to be relatable for teenage girls. What teenage girl gets involved with sports betting and game fixing? How many teenage girls find themselves in mortal peril every other month? How is any of this relatable to your average 14-year-old?
Coming Up Next: John gets a book I guess. Yippee.
No comments:
Post a Comment