**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
NOTE: I am very aware that these books were written by ghost writers but since Pascal put her name on the cover, I'm holding her solely responsible for everything that happens on these pages.
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From the Back of the Book: Shipwrecked… It’s a beautiful sunny day when a group from Sweet Valley High sets sail for a special science field trip. Jessica Wakefield is looking forward to a few hours of sunbathing and flirting, while her twin sister Elizabeth can’t wait to get to deserted Anacapa Island to study the marine life. Neither of them could have imagined the nightmare the trip will become. On the way back from the island, a violent storm sets in, and the group is forced to abandon ship in the middle of a raging sea. Then, when the lifeboat carrying Jessica and Winston Egbert capsizes, they disappear into the fog. After the storm clears, Jessica’s life preserver turns up. And soon the Coast Guard spots the missing lifeboat – but it’s empty! Will Jessica and Winston ever be found?
📢TRIGGER WARNING📢: Pascal is on her bullshit about weight again in this one. I mention it but don't go into detail. I honestly don't think it will bother my regular readers but if you're in a place where this might sabotage your well-being, please skip this one.
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*DisgustingBruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1989 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is okay. I don’t know why they told the model to pout like a five-year-old but whatever.
{{{Note from future me: that’s not even remotely the outfit Jess was said to be wearing on this trip.}}}
In the last book, Shelley moaned about being TOO TALL for an endless amount of time. She also dated some boy who likes to take pictures and then broke up with him for taking her picture and then forgave him for taking her picture. Jess fell for some guy who was teaching ballroom dancing lessons but that went nowhere. Liz existed. I guess.
Missing, Presumed Dead: KirktheJerk and Jade were absent again. I’m starting to think they may be gone for good. Roger is still underground as well and that surprises me. He has actual family in Sweet Valley. You’d think they’d notice he was missing.
Escaped From the Wakefield Dungeon: CreepySteven made his great escape so he could be there to panic about his sister’s disappearance. Penny also made it to the surface, showing up in The Oracle office at the end of the book.
We begin with Liz and Jess getting ready to go on that Science field trip to Anacapa Island that was mentioned at the end of the last book. If you remember, Jess is pretty much being forced to go because her chemistry grade sucks and she needs the extra credit. Liz is going because it seems like fun and she might want to write an article for The Oracle about it. Jess has already taken a peek at the sign up sheet so she knows Ken Matthews, football player extraordinaire, will also be on the trip. They’ve dated casually a few times so she figures she can spend the day flirting with him and working on her tan.
Ghostie sends us right into the description portion of the book. The twins are described as “beautiful”, “perfect”, “willowy” and having eyes like the Pacific Ocean. Liz is called “generous, thoughtful and responsible” in this one….
……..while Jess is called “spontaneous”, unconcerned about the future and able to make the best of any situation. That feels much more accurate.
Liz has chosen a sensible t-shirt and a pair of long shorts for this expedition while Jess has picked a bandeau top and very tight, very short denim shorts. This feels very inappropriate for a school trip. Even Jess knows it, because she grabs a white pull-over to wear so she doesn’t shock Mr Russo by “showing up practically naked”.
This all feels very icky.
The twins get to the dock and get assigned into groups by Russo. Liz is put in a group with Enid, Ken and Aaron who is making a rare appearance in the series. Jess is put in a group with Winston, Lois and Randy. Now Lois is a first-timer who just poofed into existence but we know Randy. I can’t remember which book he was in but he is the guy who was helping Jess learn about computers to impress Nicholas. He also hacked into the school computer and changed Jess’ math grade for her. She went out with him a few times to repay him. So tell me why Pascal left this in the book: “And all Jessica knew about nerdy Randy was that he was active in the Sweet Valley High computer club.”
No, Pascal, that’s NOT all she knew about him. She’s been to his house. She went on dates with him. She knows Randy. Maybe you don’t remember but my spreadsheet does.
Oh, and Pascal wastes no time in pointing out that Lois is “chubby” and therefore not worth Jess’ time. I’m so over her bullshit.
The group sets sail. Jess tries to flirt with Ken on the way over but Winston keeps pestering her. They’ve been paired up in case of an emergency but he’s taking this pairing much too seriously and won’t leave her alone.
Do you think he remembers he has an actual girlfriend? Because he's bordering on flirting here and I don't think Maria would appreciate it.
When they get to the island, Russo assigns each group to a tidal pond and gives them a kit with a notebook, pencil, ruler, microscope and slides. One student in each group is to act as the scribe and write down all the observations and later present them to the group. To Jess’ dismay, she’s picked as scribe for her group. She’s instantly in a horrible mood and acts like a brat to the others.
Lois and Randy start doing observations and even Jess can admit that the tidal pool is pretty cool. She’s staring into it when suddenly something splashes water all over them and the sand gets stirred up, obstructing their view. Jess realizes that Winston has stepped directly into the water and she starts yelling at him for fucking everything up. Winston explains that he lost his balance while leaning over and took the step to catch himself. He apologizes for the disruption but Jess thinks he did it on purpose in an effort to further annoy her. Randy suggests taking a short break to let the sand settle and Jess stomps away.
Finding a sunny place, outside of Russo’s view, Jess lays down to work on her tan. A shadow immediately falls over her and she realizes Winston has followed her. I have no idea why he’s being so annoying in this book but it’s a lot. Jess gets up and walks over to Liz/Ken’s group. For some reason, Winston sneaks up behind her and puts a crab in her hair.
Why is he being written this way? Winston’s always a clown but this is above and beyond. He’s practically a caricature at this point. This is not the way to have realistic characters, Pascal.
The day passes. Jess’ group gets their act together and completes the assignment despite Winston acting like a child the entire time. They’re supposed to present their findings on the beach before returning, but the weather starts to turn bad and the captain says they need to get a move on. Jess is completely fine with this delay. She cozies up to Ken on the boat and starts to get her flirt on. He seems pretty receptive but then the storm gets scary and nearly blows them both overboard.
Which is a problem because no adult asked these children within their care to wear life jackets on a boat in the Pacific Ocean. During a storm. Man, the 80’s were wild. Adults really just didn’t care if you survived or not.
A huge wave crashes over the boat and it starts to sink. For some reason. The captain orders everyone to evacuate into little rubber lifeboats. During a raging storm. Because that seems safe. They do finally put on lifejackets though. For some reason Jess’ is the only yellow one on the entire boat. I’m sure that won’t be important later.
Jess is hoping to evacuate with Ken but Russo orders them to get into the life boats with their “safety buddy”. Winston is extra, over-the-top clumsy and almost knocks Jess out of the boat several times. He also grabs three oars instead of the two he was assigned. This means that Liz and Aaron only have one oar and can’t paddle effectively to stay near the ship. Winston and Jess paddle over to them to give them the oar but, for some idiotic reason, Winston stands up in the rubber boat to hand it over and capsizes them. Even Winston isn’t this dumb, Pascal. Couldn’t you have just had a wave capsize them? Did you have to make it this stupid?
The current pulls Jess, Winston and the life boat away from the others and they disappear into the fog.
We jump into Liz’s head now. She and Aaron cling to the hope that Jess and Winston were able to right their boat and get back into it. On the super rough sea. They manage to stay afloat for the half an hour it takes the storm to die down and then they, along with everyone else, paddle back to the ship which Pascal refers to as “half-sunken”. What does that even mean? Is it mostly submerged or did it tilt upright like the Titanic? Would they all have been safer on a half-sunken ship than trying to survive storm swells in little rubber life boats?
Jess and Winston are nowhere to be found so they fan out a little to look for them, keeping the ship in sight. To their horror, they find Jess’ distinctive yellow life jacket floating in the water and then, later, Winston’s ball cap.
The Coast Guard is finally called. They rescue the students and Russo and then start a search for Jess and Winston.
EvilNed should put that law degree to good use and sue someone. This was horrifically bungled.
We’re back with Jess who is swimming for her life. Apparently her life jacket wasn’t securely fastened – you know because not a single adult checked to make sure they put them on properly – and it came off in the waves. She’s a strong swimmer and in good physical shape from all the cheerleading but she has no idea where she is. All she can see is ocean and she doesn’t know which way to turn. Eventually she tires and struggles to keep her head above water. She’s dreaming about just sinking to the bottom of the ocean and taking a nap when the current leads her to an island. Jess gives one final push and makes it to dry land. She hauls herself up onto the sand and promptly falls asleep.
Back with Liz. The Coast Guard searches until dark but finds no further evidence of Winston, Jess or the life boat. They call off the search for the night and everyone returns home. Jeffrey and Cara go back to the Compound with the Wakefields. CreepySteven shows up so I guess he's finally made his way out of the dungeon. They sit around the table and fret for a bit but then reassure each other that Jess is probably fine and the subject is weirdly dropped. EvilNed and VileAlice start talking about replacing the filter in the pool. Cara and CreepySteven discuss his classes. Liz and Jeffrey start planning out articles for The Oracle.
Look, I'm not saying that they shouldn't try to distract themselves since there's literally nothing they can do, but I AM saying that they do this WAY too easily. Like once they say 'hey Jess is a survivor' they literally just forget about her and move on with their lives. As a mom, I wouldn't be able to think of pool filters when my child was lost at sea. You'd have to drag me from the docks and lock me in a room so I didn't try to swim to my child.
We’re back with Jess. She sleeps through the night and wakes up the next morning. The island definitely seems very deserted and she suddenly worries about being sacrificed to head-hunting cannibals. Her words, not mine. She doesn’t really bother to do any investigating though. What if this was like that episode of Full House where they think they’re on a deserted island but it turns out there’s an entire resort just through the trees?
Winston pops out of the trees, scaring her. He says he managed to right the life boat in the very stormy sea and climb back in unassisted somehow. He paddled to the nearest island.
Wait.
Pascal.
Are you trying to tell me the plastic oars miraculously stayed right with the boat after it capsized and didn’t float away like Jess? That makes no fucking sense. There's no way he had those oars.
Jess is excited to hear he has the boat but then he admits that he didn’t secure it before he fell asleep and the tide took it away. He’s already gathered some fruit and caught a couple of fish with his bare hands though. He also thought ahead and grabbed the little emergency kit from the life boat so they have a first aid kit, matches, rope and a few other things.
I guess I'm supposed to believe the kit was secured in the inflatable rubber life boat somehow and didn't sink or float away when they capsized. Pascal is really asking a lot of me right now.
Back with Liz. She doesn't stay home from school because she has an article to turn in for the paper and a history test to take. She’s annoyed that people keep coming up to offer her condolences as if Jess is dead. Amy, Robin and DisgustingBruce make brief appearances in this chapter. Amy makes it all about herself, wailing that it could have been her if she hadn’t weaseled out of the trip. DisgustingBruce is oddly compassionate and helpful. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him. Aaron pops by to deliver news from Maria: the Coast Guard found the empty life boat floating in the ocean with no signs of life nearby.
Clearly Maria is checking in with the search efforts. Liz hasn't.
We’re back with Jess. Winston competently cleans and wraps the fish in some palm leaves before putting them on the fire he’s built. Jess pretends not to want his help but she’s hungry so she gives it up pretty fast. They eat the fish he cooked and the fruit he collected. Jess starts to fantasize about their rescue. She figures Sweet Valley will give them a parade for their bravery. She practices all the news interviews she’ll give in her head.
Winston suggests making some kind of sign on the beach to signal to boats or helicopters. He wants to use something reflective and points out that Jess’ gold bracelet would be perfect for the job. She refuses to let him use it because her grandma gave it to her and it’s expensive.
Girl.
Seriously.
Sigh.
He ends up using the small pocket knife from the emergency kit. It doesn’t have much of a surface to reflect but it’s their only other option if Jess won’t let him use the bracelet. After he sets that up, he scouts the island and finds a stream they can drink from. I’m not sure where a freshwater stream would be coming from on an island in the middle of the ocean. If he had said a depression where rainwater had gathered I’d believe it more. But we move. Winston wants to make a stockpile of food and firewood so they don’t have to go out and gather it every time they need it. Jess thinks this is a huge waste of time because they’ll be rescued any minute. She wants to make herself a skirt out of palm leaves and weave some flowers in her hair so she’ll look pretty for the interviews.
I think the way Jess is acting now is karma for how Winston acted prior to their marooning.
Clouds start to thicken and Winston worries they’re in for another storm. He says they should try to make a shelter. Jess throws a fit about this too but eventually agrees to help when Winston says she can decorate the inside however she wants. They put together an impressive shelter with driftwood for the posts and woven palm leaves for the roof. Winston secures everything with the rope from the kit and then goes to work making a fire pit. Jess gathers more palm leaves to make a “sofa”, separates the shelter into two rooms with some hanging vines and then sticks flowers all over her side.
You know, neither of them have had to go to the bathroom the entire day. Even after eating all that fruit. I guess people in Sweet Valley never need to poop.
We’re back to Liz. Nicholas shows up out of the void and offers to take a group out on his boat to look for Jess and Winston. The Wakefields are reluctant to let their two remaining children go back out on the ocean but eventually relent. DisgustingBruce, Ken, Jeffrey, Liz and CreepySteven head for the docks.
Nicholas takes them out to where the ship started to sink and then turns his boat in the direction he thinks the tide would have carried Jess and Winston. They all fan out on various sides of the boat to look. At pretty much absolutely nothing. Seriously. All they can see is water. I’m not sure what the point of this is. Anyway, it starts to rain and the Coast Guard puts out a statement that all boats should return to land. Nicholas takes them back. When they get home, VileAlice and EvilNed are frantic. They thought they were going to lose all their children.
I’m surprised they even noticed.
Back with Jess. She and Winston wait out the storm in their shelter and then they go to gather food and firewood. Winston tells her about seeing some blueberry bushes up on this incline and he wants to go. Jess thinks it’s too dangerous and she wants to stay on flat land. Winston suddenly turns into an alpha-hole and demands they do this because he is man and man said so. Jess relents.
Neither of these people are acting in character at this point but I’m not surprised at all. Pascal doesn’t know her characters well enough to guide the ghosties and the ghosties just keep writing them however they want with no concern for consistency.
It’s all about moving the plot, baby.
Winston and Jess get to the top of the incline where the bushes are located and then…..you’re never going to fucking believe this…..they’re accosted by a bear.
Yes, you read that right. A bear. On an island. In the Pacific Ocean. Not even in a forest where it might make more sense.
Okay. I’m just going to accept this because I have no choice.
I will say we’re in a two nickel situation with Jess and bear encounters at this point. We just keep recycling ideas. Maybe they thought we wouldn’t notice since the other bear scare happened in one of those non-canon special editions.
Winston panics and drops all the firewood and fruit he’s insisted on carrying because he’s the man. Jess grabs some berries and throws them at the bear, hoping to distract it. Personally I think this will only annoy it but Jess has more experience with bear encounters than me. The bear makes an irritated sound but luckily it starts to thunder and the bear runs off on it’s own.
How do you think it got there? I mean, it had to be born there, right? So where is its bear family? Is it an orphan bear? Or is Pascal trying to imply that this island is weirdly full of bears but they just haven’t been seen or heard until now?
Anyway, Jess manages to get a panicky Winston back down the incline and back to the shelter. Now that the danger has passed, he feels humiliated and guilty for his reaction. Jess kindly reminds him of all he’s done to keep the two of them alive. They end up having a heart-to-heart and realize that their perceptions of the other aren’t entirely accurate. Jess is more than an air-headed snob and Winston is more than a clumsy clown. Jess thinks they might actually be friends when this is all over.
I highly doubt it.
Later, Jess starts to worry that they will never actually be rescued. I’d be more worried that bear will find your shelter because of all the food you have laying around but whatever. Jess starts making bargains with God, saying she’ll do all her chores and start saving money for college if He’ll only let them be rescued. Pretty much immediately, a helicopter flies overhead. I guess we know where Pascal stands on the whole prayer thing.
Jess waves her arms at the helicopter and the pilot waves back. I’m shocked that Pascal let the actual Coast Guard rescue them and didn’t contrive a way for Liz to do it.
They’re picked up and the pilot lets Jess use his comb to fix her hair so she looks nice for all the reporters who are waiting when they land. Jess is thrilled to give interviews to the group and figures it’s good practice for when she gets invited to be on Oprah. She takes credit for all the fishing, fruit gathering, fire pit making and shelter building but eventually throws Winston a bone and says he helped a little. He just stands there and lets her have the spotlight. When reporters ask him about his contributions to their survival, he smiles and says he kept Jess entertained.
That was nice of him. He could have made her look like an idiot but he didn't.
The Wakefields finally arrive along with the Egberts and Maria. Much hugging happens.
We skip ahead a few days. Liz writes an article about the entire thing but she admits to editor Penny that Jess has told a dozen different versions of what happened and she’s not sure what the real story is. I think the real story is Penny’s daring escape from the Wakefield Dungeon but I guess everyone keeps that pretty mum in this town. Olivia is in the newsroom and jokes about Jess managing to get stranded on an island with a guy while she can’t even get a date. She laments that she hasn’t dated anyone since she and Roger broke up.
Penny changes the subject, telling them that Questionable Mr Collins has announced a new program of mini courses in things like acting, film making, photography, computer game design, jewelry design, modeling, etc. Olivia is excited about the prospect, thinking these new classes might be the perfect opportunity to meet a new boy. The book ends there.
The plot of this one was a little more interesting that usual but I couldn’t even enjoy the novelty of it because either Jess or Winston was acting like a child the entire time. They were so irritating that I wanted to drown them both by the end.
Coming up next: I quit the blog. Seriously. It’s called Teacher Crush. There’s no way I’m surviving this.
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