Playing With Fire (SVH #3) by Francine Pascal

**This blog contains adult language.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch-move the twins made this book.

Tag Line: Can Jessica play Bruce Patman's game and win?  (((Does his game involve strangling her?  What kind of SVH is this???)))

From the Back of the Book: Watch out, Sweet Valley High! Once again, Jessica Wakefield has gotten her way. Fresh from her greatest social triumph, Jessica proceeds to sink her hooks into rich, handsome Bruce Patman, the most eligible, sought-after guy at SVH.  Or has Bruce gotten his hooks into Jessica? Elizabeth, Jessica's twin, notices a big change in her sister. Suddenly Jessica's following Bruce everywhere and dropping everything just to spend time with him.  Elizabeth doesn't trust Bruce one bit - he's arrogant, demanding, and way too fast. Jessica can usually hold her own with any guy, but this time Elizabeth's afraid her sister may be going too far...

This book was published in 1983 and I don't know if I read it or not. I can't remember anything about it. Maybe the school library didn't have this one. {{{Shrug}}}

Meet the Cast

*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.

*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies

*Ned Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer

*Alice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer

*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole

*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type

*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team

*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money

*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money

*Ken Matthews – star quarterback and resident jock stereotype

*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd

There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.

In the last book, we learned Enid's big secret. When she was younger, she was involved with drugs and alcohol and her past boyfriend George ended up in reform school. Current boyfriend Ronnie had controlling tendencies and anger issues and she was afraid he'd find out she was still writing George. He did because Jessica wanted to be queen of the fall dance and she tipped off Ronnie so he'd help her win instead of Enid. In the end, Enid ended up with George and Jessica ended up as queen. Liz did something so massively evil that I don't even want to mention it again because I'll just end up pissed off. So read the last recap and save me the trouble.

The book opens up at SVH's dance contest. Jessica is there in her capacity as queen with Winston who was named king. He's thrilled because he's always had a massive crush on Jess (#FUCKYOUELIZABETH) but she isn't too happy to be there with anyone but Bruce. For some reason, it seems like Bruce is trying to get with every popular girl at SVH except Jess.

The Droids are performing the music and Pascal reminds us that they are all genetically perfect specimens in addition to being unrealistically talented. Liz notices that there's some random 20-year-old hanging out in the back of the gym and she points him out to Todd. He doesn't seem too concerned about this odd guy standing around watching a bunch of high schoolers dance.

Main character seriously needs to watch an episode of Dateline? Check.

Liz and Todd go to wish Jess good luck in the competition and Liz is furious that Jess doesn't seem happy to be there with Winston (#FUCKYOUELIZABETH). What the hell did she expect? Jess is more concerned with winning the contest and impressing Bruce. She asks Liz to throw the competition but Liz doesn't take her seriously for some reason. As they're talking, a new character named Robin runs up to fawn all over Jess. Pascal makes sure to point out several times that Robin is overweight and not as attractive as our protagonists. #allhailtheWakefieldtwins Jess is annoyed with Robin's attention and takes off to talk to Lila.

The dance contest starts and Winston is terrible. Bruce ends up cutting in and Liz is furious that Jess would treat Winston in this totally predictable way. This is entirely your fault, Liz. You have no right to get mad at Jess here when you created this entire situation last book. Jess and Bruce end up winning the dance contest and they get to slow dance with each other as a reward. Jess tries to take advantage of the situation by pressing her body into his but Bruce moves away from her and tells her that men should take the lead. She translates this to mean she needs to be less aggressive with him and I'm sure that's going to set up their entire relationship right there.

The random 20-year-old perv (Tony) turns out to be some kind of manager and he offers to take charge of the Droids. The drummer, Emily, excitedly tells Liz that Tony is the one who discovered a lot of local bands and the Droids are poised to become huge. Liz is skeptical and warns Emily that she should be cautious because no one knows if the perv is legit or not. Emily isn't too thrilled with Liz's lack of enthusiasm.

After trying to stomp on Emily's dream, Liz goes searching for Jess. She finds her locked in a conversation with Winston about Ken's party. Winston has assumed that they were going together as king and queen but Jess has other ideas. She suggests that Winston should take Robin instead and then she takes off. Liz catches up with her and tries to force Jess to go to the party with Winston but Jess refuses to be bullied again. She basically tells Liz to go fuck herself and then she leaves with Bruce.

Honestly, more characters should tell Liz to go fuck herself because I really enjoyed that.

Ken lives in some big lakeside house which gives Jess an excuse to change into a tiny red bikini. She and Bruce get a little frisky in the lake and he ends up untying her bikini top. She makes a joke of it and reties the strings but he accuses her of being a big tease. She panics, thinking he might be pulling away from her so she gives him a “slow, moist kiss” {{{shudder}}} and suggests they go somewhere a little more private.

You could have used any other word, Pascal.  ANY OTHER WORD.  Plus, the one you chose just makes me think she slobbered all over him and that's not sexy.

Liz sees them leaving and follows. She finds them in the trees, laying on the ground making out. She tells Jess that she needs to talk to her immediately. Jess refuses to go with her so Liz says she has a really big problem and she needs help. Bruce tells Jess she can go if she wants to but insinuates that he won't be there waiting for her to come back. Jess doesn't want to lose him so she tells Liz to bug off. Liz leaves reluctantly. Pascal leaves the scene with them making out again so I don't know if Jess gets deflowered in the woods or not and I really don't care.

Jessica ends up being out until almost dawn while Liz frets at home about what her sister might be doing with Bruce. When Jess comes home, she tells Liz that they mostly talked all night but Liz isn't really buying it. She is worried that Jess is being way to subservient with Bruce and I'm wondering exactly how she's come to that conclusion. I mean, she literally saw them dance and then saw them making out. We know, as readers, that her concerns are valid but Liz has no actual basis to even have concerns with what she's been witness to. Apparently Pascal is forgetting that Liz isn't reading this story along with us.

Jess gushes a bit about how wonderful Bruce is and then says she hopes he'll ask her out again. Liz takes it as a nail in the coffin that he didn't immediately ask her out when he brought her home. Her fears are unwarranted, however, when Bruce calls about three hours later and asks Jess to go sailing with him. I guess he doesn't need much sleep. Jess is ecstatic but Liz is afraid that Bruce is playing a game with Jess and will end up hurting her.

At breakfast that morning, there's a scene where Alice is talking about submitting her portfolio to Lila's dad because he's expanding his factory. Ned pretty much tells her she's out of her league and has no chance and Pascal tells us he does it with a “bemused expression” that he uses whenever he talks about his “wife's career moves”. So clearly he doesn't think much of his wife's work or her capabilities as a designer. He really comes off as a total dick during this entire conversation.

We skip to Monday morning. Emily approaches Liz at her locker to tell her that she was all wrong about Tony. Not only is he legit, but he's been in magazines with some of the bands he discovered. He's going to start booking the Droids in some local clubs and he's hoping they'll be ready for LA clubs by the summer. Liz acts like she knew it all along and tells Emily that she wants to chronicle the entire experience in a series of articles for the school paper.

Meanwhile, Jess is making out with Bruce on campus. The final bell rings and she tries to head to class but he stops her. He tells her that he should be more important than class and she isn't sure what to do. Finally he produces a pad of paper from his back pocket which turns out to be the official notepad from the nurse's office. He tells her that he'll give her a note from the 'nurse' to excuse her tardiness if she'll stay with him a little longer. She agrees.

Liz sees them from the chemistry room window though which means they are in full view of at least part of the school. I guess Pascal wants us to believe that none of the teachers ever look out the windows.

We skip ahead to Tuesday afternoon now. Enid gets her only mention in the story because Liz tells us she was playing tennis with her after school when she was struck with an idea for a short story and needed to rush home immediately to get it down on paper before she forgot it. She's alone in the living room when she hears a timid knock on the door. It's Robin, looking for Jess. Liz tells her that Jess is probably at cheer practice but Robin has already checked there. Liz is sure that Jess blew off both Robin and cheer practice for Bruce. She casually (ie nosily) asks what Robin and Jess had planned together and Robin says a makeover. Jess told Robin that Winston has a huge crush on her and she wants to look nice for him. Liz is furious that Jess would do such a thing but SHE DID THE SAME FUCKING THING LAST BOOK. SHE TOLD THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCHOOL THAT JESS HAD A CRUSH ON WINSTON SO THEY WOULD VOTE HIM KING. WHICH WINSTON HEARD ABOUT AND BELIEVES. IT'S NO FUCKING DIFFERENT THAN JESS TELLING ROBIN THAT WINSTON IS CRUSHING ON HER. FUCK YOU, ELIZABETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liz tells Robin that Winston isn't interested in her (WHICH SHE HAS NO FUCKING WAY OF KNOWING) and tries to let her down easy. Robin isn't really swayed much. Liz thinks she just needs some pretty people to notice her, so she invites Robin out to see the Droids with her and Todd on Saturday.

#FUCKYOUELIZABETH

Jess is playing tennis at Bruce's house for the evening. She mentions that Liz is probably home studying for the big chemistry test the next day but Jess doesn't need to study because she plans to copy off Emily's test. Jess notices that Bruce doesn't seem to like it when she plays well. In fact, he seems to be getting angry so she throws the match and is rewarded with a smile and a kiss. Jess swears to herself that she'll do anything to make him happy.

Meanwhile, Emily is at band rehearsal. There's a lot of pressure now that they're poised on the edge of their big break. She's floundering over some new music and Guy (I have no fucking idea who he is) threatens to replace her as the Droid's drummer. I'm confused because I thought it was an all girl band for some reason. I guess I'm confusing the Droids with Josie and the Pussycats. Anyway, Emily panics at the idea of being replaced right before they make it big. (((Note from future me: Guy plays the keyboard so I have no idea how he has the authority to replace anyone. There's also a Max who plays the guitar and a Dan who plays bass in addition to Dana, the lead singer that we met last book.))) Guy continues to snap at Max and then at Dana because he's so nervous about them performing well at their next gig and the rest of the band pushes back until they're all arguing with each other.

Emily is so shaken up by Guy's threat that she goes home and continues to practice until late into the night. She forgets to study for her chemistry test entirely so I think Jess might just be screwed on that front.

We skip ahead to Friday. Sure enough, Emily failed the chemistry test which means Jess failed it too. She's distraught because failing chemistry means she'll get kicked off the cheerleading squad. She cries on Bruce's shoulder but he doesn't give a single fuck. He tells her that she'll never use chemistry in the real world anyway and that cheerleading is really dumb. Jess is still a little upset and Bruce likes playing the part of her hero so he tells her that he knows where the teacher keeps the tests and that he can tell her how to get them.

We skip to Winston and Liz talking about Jess because that's her favorite past time. Winston says he can accept that Jess just isn't into him but he doesn't like the fact she's dating Bruce because Bruce is a dick. Liz laments that Jess has changed her entire personality to suit Bruce and that she's been buying him things and skipping school to do his errands. Winston thinks they need to do something but Liz has no idea what they can do. Any action will just serve to push Jess further into Bruce's arms. She changes the subject and invites Winston to go to the Droids concert with her, Todd and Robin the next night. Winston is a little hesitant because “being around people who eat all the time” makes him nervous (#fuckyouWinston and #fuckyouharderPascal) but he eventually agrees because he doesn't want to spend the night with his Nintendo.

On Saturday evening, Liz decides she needs to borrow some clothes from Jess to wear to the nightclub. She finds Jess trying on a new outfit of her own – conservative skirt, oxford button-down shirt and blazer – for dinner with Bruce at the country club. Liz is dismayed to see Jess dressing.....well, like Liz. She thinks that Jess is giving up too much of her personality to please Bruce. Jess just kind of waves that away in typical Jess fashion. Liz asks if she can borrow something flashy and Jess says she can just keep whatever she wants because Bruce doesn't like it when girls dress that way.

We skip ahead to Liz and company arriving at the “nightclub”. It turns out to be this really run down place in the middle of nowhere which isn't what they were expecting at all. There are only a few cars in the lot and Todd is uneasy about going in for some reason. Liz tells him she has to stay for the entire set because of the article and shoos them all toward the door. As they walk through the lot, Todd sees a motorcycle and comments on how cool it is. Liz is very disapproving. So this has to be foreshadowing because it doesn't make sense in the flow of this story at all. Pascal is setting up another book and she's not being very subtle about it.

No one seems to be paying much attention to the band when they walk in. I guess it's not a place that cards? The dance floor is empty and only a couple of people are watching the stage as the Droids perform. Pascal has gone on and on at this point about how amazing this band is – how they are punk and cool and they rival the Rolling Stones – so you would expect them to be wearing some appropriately punky outfits. But you'd be very, very wrong. Emily and Dana are wearing sexy red dresses and the boys have dressed themselves like “alluring tough guys”. No, I don't know what that means and I don't want to.

Robin is having an awful night. Winston is actively avoiding her, scooting further away from her at every opportunity and not speaking to her at all. I get that he isn't into her, and he doesn't have to be, but he shouldn't be so damn rude.  She didn't do anything to him. It's made my opinion of him go down quite a bit and I'm wondering if I'll like anyone by the time I'm done recapping this series.

After they drop Winston and Robin off, Todd and Liz make out for a bit and then Todd tells her that Jess is getting a reputation around school. Bruce has pretty much told everyone he's getting it and for all we know, that might be accurate.

We hop back to the Droids. It's a new day but I have no idea what day. They're gathered in Max's basement where they hold most of their rehearsals. Max has just finished reading Liz's latest article on their progress which includes details about them playing for a packed crowd and getting a standing ovation. Only it never happened. Apparently Guy has been feeding Liz misinformation to make it look like they're having more success than they are. Dana comes rushing in with the news that Tony just called her to tell her he's trying to book them in some LA clubs. Guy is pissed that Tony didn't call him instead.

Now it's Friday and there's a big football game that evening. Per tradition, the cheerleaders are all wearing their uniforms to school to show support for the team. Bruce isn't too happy to see Jess in it. He asks her why she's wearing it and then tells her that there's no way she's going to a football game without asking his permission first. He tells her that he wants to go for a romantic drive on the beach instead and if she wants to be his girl, she'll skip the game and go with him. So she does.

I know I haven't commented much on this but I figured I don't really need to. You all know how toxic and borderline abusive this relationship is. You should never change every little thing about yourself to please your partner. You should never have to ask your partner for “permission” to do the things you want to do. You should never have to skip class or work or give up the things you love for a partner. That's not what love is. But you all know that so I'm just skipping the rant.

A few days later, Jess announces that she's quitting the cheerleading squad. She says she's just tired of it but Liz knows she's giving it up for Bruce.

Apparently Ned and Alice are just sleeping on this entire relationship.  Shouldn't they be concerned that their daughter has gone through an enormous personality change that coincides with her starting to date a new person?  I mean, this would concern me if I saw it happen to my daughter.  They clearly don't give a single damn about the daughters they brought into the world.

We skip ahead some more time. Jess and Robin are hanging out in Jess's room. Robin sees the little Pi Beta Alpha teddy bear on Jess's vanity and says that she'd really love to join the sorority. We get this: “The girl can't seriously believe anyone would want a butterball like her as a sorority sister”. #fuckyouJess #FUCKYOUPASCAL  I really thought we were done with all the fat shaming when we left Greenleaf but apparently Sweet Valley is just as toxic.  Jess tries to tell Robin that the pledge period is over but Robin knows that isn't true. She's heard Lila talking about the next pledge class and she wants to try to get a spot.

Jess changes the subject and mentions how good a cook Robin is. She asks if Robin would be willing to help her cook a nice romantic meal for Bruce and somehow that turns into Robin agreeing to just cook the dinner herself while Jess is over at Bruce's house. I have to give her this – Jess is a master at manipulating people. It's like an art form.

Weeks pass. Bruce isn't making time to see Jess very often anymore but she obediently sits by the phone every night in case he calls. When he does, she drops everything else to be with him. He doesn't really take her out in public, though. Their “dates” consist of going to the beach to either make out or have sex. Pascal isn't super clear on which one is happening. Jess is all geared up to go to the sorority dance with him but he tells her he made plans with friends instead. When she says she'll just go without him, he threatens to break up with her so she decides to stay home alone instead.

One Saturday Bruce tells Jess that he can't see her because he has to pick his grandma up form the airport (#oldestlieinthebook) so she decides to accept a babysitting job with Mr Collins' son Teddy. She asks to watch him at her own house and then invites Robin along too in case Bruce calls. Sure enough he does, telling Jess he'll be there to pick her up in 15 minutes so she begs Robin to watch Teddy for her. Robin doesn't want to but she's afraid of losing the friendship, such as it is, so she agrees. Bruce picks up Jess and tells her he has bad news. They had a private picnic in the woods planned for the next day but he says he can't go. His father is throwing some kind of party and demanding that Bruce be there to play the dutiful son. Jess volunteers to go to the party with him but he says it isn't the right time. Whatever that means. She presses it and he gets angry so she backs off.

A few days later, an item is sneaked into Liz's Eyes and Ears column without her knowledge or approval. It states that Bruce won some kind of car race on Sunday and Liz is dismayed. She goes to tell Jess about it but Jess has a ready explanation at hand. She says another boy borrowed Bruce's car for the race so it's just a case of mistaken identity. Liz is furious that someone was able to add something to an article she wrote without telling her. I can understand this one. It's a dangerous thing to do. They could have made her look like a real bitc.....oh, wait.

Liz tells Jess that she's letting Bruce lead her around on a leash and Jess protests that Liz doesn't know what it's like to be in love. Liz says love doesn't mean changing your whole life around and giving up everything you love to suit another person and I HATE it when she makes me agree with her. Jess just brushes it off and says that she just wants to make Bruce happy.

Later, Jess goes up to Robin and tells her that she wants to nominate Robin for the sorority. Robin is beyond ecstatic at the news. Jess says there's one catch – some of the sisters aren't sure Robin has what it takes to be a member so she needs to complete a hero's trial of sorts. Jess wants her to steal the chemistry test that Bruce told her about. She lays out the plan for Robin who is very hesitant. Jess tells her that there's no way she'll get into the sorority if she doesn't do it, so Robin reluctantly agrees.

Robin brings the test over to Jess's house later that evening but Jess won't touch it. She says Robin has to put it in Emily's locker as part of the initiation. Robin is confused but agrees. The next day, Jess approaches Emily and tells her that she knows Emily has a copy of the test. She wants Emily to use it to get a good grade on the test the next day. Jess is just going to copy enough of Emily's answers to pass. You have to admit, this was kind of masterful. I mean, it's not a good plan at all. It involves way too many people and way too many opportunities for someone to rat on her, not to mention that the teacher probably knows a test is missing. But she managed to get everyone to do the dirty work for her.

Several days pass so I don't know how that chemistry thing works for Jess. Liz is in Max's basement watching the Droids rehearse. Things are volatile with Guy getting pissed at everyone else at every turn. Max seems pretty over the whole thing when they finally take a bit of a break and Liz gets a chance to interview them. Guy is upset because they're still playing dive bars (I'm not sure what he fucking expected for a high school band just starting out) and because Tony only seems to want to communicate with Dana. The all bicker and Liz gets increasingly uncomfortable with being present for all this discord. She finally excuses herself but Emily catches up with her and asks for a ride home.

In the car, Emily confesses that she cheated on the chemistry test. She doesn't tell Liz about Jess's involvement though. Liz encourages her to confess to the teacher because it will eat Emily up inside if she doesn't. Emily is afraid she'll flunk the class if she does but she's clearly feeling guilty so I think she'll end up doing it anyway.

The next day (I think – the timeline isn't super clear here), Liz goes to confront Penny who is the editor in chief of the Oracle about adding the Bruce story to her column.  (((Which I think was weeks ago by this time so I'm not sure why it's here.)))  Penny pretty much laughs at her and says she'd never give Bruce free press. But she knows who did it. Apparently John the sportswriter had approached Penny right before press to say that Liz asked for the item to be added. They call John over and he says that he was just doing it for Bruce because Bruce doesn't feel like his name gets mentioned in the paper enough. It backfired though because Bruce was really angry about it. Liz asks if Bruce was driving in the race and John says yes. She asks if anyone else was in the car and John says that Bruce has a navigator. Why the hell does he need a navigator??? Liz asks who the navigator was and John gets uncomfortable and tells her that he's not allowed to say. I'm assuming it's a girl.

That night, Jess comes into Liz's room to show her the new dress she bought for Bruce's birthday party. She says that she and Bruce will be starting the evening with an intimate dinner at the country club and then he has some kind of surprise in store for her. Liz kind of knows what the surprise is. Half the school has been buzzing about Bruce's birthday bash at the country club for days on end. The intimate night he promised Jess is going to include a whole lot more people. Liz doesn't bother to tell her and save her the humiliation, though. She figures Jess wouldn't have believed her anyway and she doesn't want the fight. She's a pretty crap sister if you ask me. Not that you did. But when you read my blog, you get my opinion.

Jess ends up flunking the chemistry test. She figures that Robin stole the wrong one from the drawer. The teacher lets her know that she's in danger of flunking the entire class and she'll need to pass every test for the rest of the semester AND do a pile of special assignments. She walks out of the room and confronts Emily, accusing her of making her fail the test on purpose. What? A second ago you told us that Robin must have stolen the wrong test. How did we get from that logical explanation to the insane idea that Emily would have purposely flunked a test to make Jess flunk? Continuity matters, Pascal. Logic matters.

Emily tells Jess that she's confessed to stealing a test but didn't throw Jess under the bus too. The teacher gave her detention and is making her do extra assignments but otherwise she's in the clear. Jess is furious that she's going to have to do a lot of extra work instead of just cheating her way to a passing grade. At lunch, she goes to tell Bruce about it but he won't listen to her. He tells her he's bored of listening to the same old crap and he goes back to a conversation he's having with two of his friends. Jess is mad at first but then tells herself that it was her fault he treated her so badly because she never should have interrupted his conversation.

We skip ahead to Bruce's birthday. Pascal tells us that Jessica is “seduction personified” which feels kind of gross since she's a 16-year-old child. She gets carefully made up and then gathers up all the presents she's bought for Bruce and heads downstairs. He doesn't get out of the car but he does shove her door open from the inside so I guess there's that. He takes the presents from her and tosses them casually in the backseat which hurts her feelings. He doesn't say anything about her new dress so she prompts him and he tells her she looks “delicious” but she's overdressed for the party.

Side note: this is apparently Bruce's 18^th birthday. I know he said he had Jess's chemistry teacher the year before so I guess he's not in their grade after all. I always thought he was.

Jess is upset that they aren't spending the evening alone. He tells her they'll be alone at the beach after the party and he runs his hand down her thigh. The place is already packed when they get there. Bruce leads Jess to a table and pretty much tells her to stay put while he works the crowd. She does but it's very boring and lonely. Liz rocks up and Jess tries to pretend she's having a wonderful time. Liz doesn't really know how to talk to her anymore so she really doesn't try.

The Droids are playing the party which surprises Liz since she thought they had a gig somewhere else. During the first break she approaches Emily to ask. Emily says Tony was a fraud. Yes, he used to work for a big company but he was fired months ago. He never had any intentions of helping them make it big – he just had the hots for Dana. Emily says the band is mostly relieved now that all the pressure is gone and I guess that wraps up that little side story.

Jess spends the entire evening alone at the table watching Bruce talk to and dance with other girls. At one point, Winston approaches her and tries to get her to dance with him but she turns him down. Finally Bruce dances the last dance of the night with her and then the entire party moves to the Italian restaurant in town. There, Bruce continues to ignore Jess, talking to pretty much anyone and everyone but her. He makes plans with Ken to go shooting the next day and Jess protests that they had a date. Bruce tells her she must be confused and then excuses himself to make a call at the pay phone. When he returns to the area, he tells the party that the night is over. His grandmother is very sick and he needs to go home. Liz volunteers to take Jess home and Bruce looks very relieved.

Liz tells Todd to make up some excuse to drive around for half an hour because she thinks Bruce might be bringing another date to the restaurant. Todd tells Jess that he needs to do some star gazing because Jupiter is supposed to be visible by the moon. He drives up in the hills and then wastes as much time looking at the sky as he possibly can with Jess moaning the entire time about being bored. Finally he gets back in the car and drives toward the Wakefield house. They get nearly there when Liz pretends she left her keys at the restaurant and they have to go back.

When they get back to the restaurant, Bruce's car is still in the parking lot. Jess decides to go in and see what's up. Not only is the party still going, but Bruce is now sitting at the table with a pretty redhead. Jess suddenly realizes what an ass Bruce is and she stalks toward the table. Bruce turns pale and introduces Aline as a friend of the family. Jess literally throws an entire pizza right in his face and then dumps a pitcher of soda over his head. She tells him they're through and then starts laughing hysterically at the sight of him. Everyone else joins in.

She grabs Winston and tells him she owes him a date and they go outside where she somehow lets all the air out of Bruce's tires. This feels like it would take a very long time, but whatevs.

The book ends by setting up the next. Robin asks Liz if she's going to the next sorority meeting and then mentions that Jess is going to put her up for membership. Liz highly doubts this is true but decides if Jess doesn't, she will. Pascal tells us in the last sentence that this will inadvertently cause chaos. Oh, goody.