Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch-move the twins made this book.
Tag Line: The Wakefield twins have taken sides - against each other.From the Back of the Book: Elizabeth and Jessica in a tug of war.... Chubby Robin Wilson has been following Jessica around for months. First she wanted to be her friend - now she wants to join Pi Beta Alpha, Sweet Valley High's snobby sorority. When Elizabeth, Jessica's twin, nominates Robin for the sorority, Jessica is furious. Robin may be friendly and smart but she's certainly not beautiful and popular enough to be a Pi Beta. Jessica's determined to find a way to keep Robin out. But Elizabeth is just as determined to make Robin a sorority sister. Soon the twins are locked in a struggle that develops into the biggest power play at Sweet Valley High......
So my manager reads the backs of the books aloud to me so I can type them in. They paused midway through to rant about why Liz would nominate Robin for membership in a sorority full of people so toxic towards her. "Is she just doing it to feel morally superior?" they asked. All I could do was nod, friends. Liz is the actual worst.
This book was published in 1983 and I am 99.999% sure I didn't read this one. I know this will horrify some of you but I didn't read this series in order. What I read depended on what the library had checked in at the time so I sometimes read one in the 30's and then one in the teens.
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield –
identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical
twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*Ned Wakefield – neglectful
patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*Alice Wakefield – neglectful
matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older
brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best
friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's
douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's
self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick
and representative of SV old money
*Ken Matthews – star
quarterback and resident jock stereotype
*Winston Egbert –
stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main
characters that plague us book after book.
In the last book, the Droids almost
made it big, Jessica began dating Bruce which turned into a
completely toxic relationship where she gave up every bit of herself
for him and we were introduced to Robin who only dreamed of
being in the sorority. If you want more than that, you're going to
have to read the recap. I'm not doing all the work for you. Playing With Fire (SVH #3)
We begin with this sentence: “Elizabeth
Wakefield didn't know how messy things would get with Robin Wilson
and the sorority pledging, until she was in too deep to back out.”
It feels like an awkward way to begin a book, but you do you,
Pascal. She's really assuming we read the last book and remember the
last paragraph of it here because otherwise we just landed right in
the middle of something we got no beginning to. The section goes on
to tell us that Jess is now president of Pi Beta Alpha (hereafter
known as PBA) and Elizabeth rarely goes to meetings because she's too
busy writing the Eyes and Ears column for the school paper. She
reminds us that she used to be anonymous but now everyone knows who
writes it. She says something about Mr Collins (the slightly pervy
paper advisor) telling her not to abuse anonymous power and then the
section ends with this: “It was advice Elizabeth would recall
when she confronted another kind of anonymous power – one that
threatened to tear Robin Wilson and the Pi Beta's apart.” This
is the most heavy-handed example of foreshadowing that I've ever
encountered.
This book might kill me y'all.
NOTE FROM FUTURE ME: I can't recap this
book as usual. I got about 30 pages in and the amount of abuse they
hurl at this girl Robin because of her weight is extremely troubling.
The language they use toward her and the lengths they go to
humiliate her is devastating. I can't recap it in my usual way
because it's just too horrific. So, this recap will be pretty vague
bullet points from here on out. Trust me when I tell you that the
way they speak to and about this girl is disgusting and I just can't
expose you to that.
*Elizabeth finds out from Robin's mom
that Robin is thinking of dropping out of school because she's
unpopular. She asks Liz to make sure that Robin is nominated for PBA
membership. Liz knows Jess won't do it because Robin isn't
attractive enough so she decides to do it herself.
*There's a weird subplot about Lila
giving Jess a bunch of expensive things. Liz makes this out to be a
grand conspiracy of some sort. We'll find out I guess.
*Liz nominates Robin for PBA and the
rest of the sorority is very unhappy about it. Jess vows to make
Robin's initiation as uncomfortable as possible in the hopes that
Robin will just quit and not pledge the sorority.
*Robin's first task is to run around
the school track 5 times a day for a week. Half the school turns up
to watch and scream hateful, disgusting things at her while she does
it. No one stops them or tells them that this behavior is abusive
and gross. This is the part that completely broke me down and why
we're only getting bullet points for this recap.
*Robin completes her week of jogging
and then she's told that she'll have to show up at the beach the next
day in a bikini to play volleyball. Clearly this task is designed to
completely humiliate her in public. Liz goes along and tries to make
the day as easy for Robin as possible but people are disgusting about
her appearance as always. Even Pascal refers to her robe as a
“tent”. #fuckyouPascal
*Robin is told that her last task is to
get Bruce to take her to the Discomarathon. She cries about it to
Liz who decides she has to fix it somehow. She promises Bruce a
feature in the paper if he'll take Robin to the dance. He agrees.
After a lot of name-calling. I don't know why Liz feels so good
about herself after this. She just set Robin up to spend a night
with a man who she knows is abusive due to the way he treated her
sister last book. She knows what he says about Robin to her face.
Why would she feel good about having Robin spend an entire evening
with this person? Liz is a sanctimonious idiot.
*PS Pascal refers to every single thing
Robin wears as a “tent”. It's not even one of the characters
thinking it or saying it. It's how Pascal is describing it. She
clearly had some issues around weight that she probably should have
explored with a therapist.
*The day of the dance happens. Robin
arrives with Bruce and everyone laughs at her because the entire
fucking school is full of awful people. Bruce brings her out onto
the dance floor in the middle of everyone, makes some disgusting
comments about her weight and then walks off. Seriously, Liz, how
did you not see this coming? She's so fucking stupid.
*Enid and Liz try to cheer Robin up but
she's understandably distraught. She tells them she's leaving school
for good and then she takes off.
*Liz crashes into Allen who she
describes as the “tallest, smartest, shyest boy at Sweet Valley
High” which is news to me because I thought Winston was the
smartest. Liz asks Allen to stop Robin from leaving while she goes
to track down Todd for some reason.
*Allen chases down Robin and kindly
asks her if there's some kind of help he can give her. She makes fun
of the way he's stuttering which is just fucking charming considering
what people just did to her. I hate EVERYONE. Except maybe Allen
because he seems nice so far. I'm sure that will change.
*Robin basically tells him he's too
pathetic to help her and he walks away. She realizes what a bitch
she's being and she calls after him. She apologizes for yelling at
him and them immediately says she's surprised to see him at a dance
because he's such a loser. Who the fuck am I supposed to root for
here? #teamAllen
*The two of them go back in and dance
together once. It's awkward because neither really knows how to slow
dance and everyone is laughing at them because the entirety of SVH SUCKS. Afterwards, Allen asks if he can take Robin home and she
agrees. So I have no idea what Liz's plan with Todd was. Pascal never mentions it again. It's like she forgot entirely.
*The next day Liz goes to the mall to
pick up a watch her mother was having repaired. She discovers a tiny
little boutique that seems new and goes in. Everything is super
expensive and she notices a scarf just like the one Lila gave Jess
and a ring that Lila was wearing the other day. A saleswoman comes
over to talk to her and tells her that they've had a problem with
shoplifting lately. Liz suspects Lila or Jess.
*PBA holds the vote for new members.
Boxes are passed around and the members put a white marble in for the
people they want to induct and a black marble for the ones they
don't. It only takes one black marble to be “blackballed” and
banned from the sorority. Robin gets blackballed (clearly by Jess because no one else would dare). She doesn't take
it well at all and Liz worries she might do something drastic.
*Liz decides that the best thing to do
is write an article about snobbery at SV for the paper. I mean,
she's an expert and all but this will probably just add to Robin's
humiliation. Not that Liz cares. She feels pretty damn proud of herself for doing it afterwards.
*Liz blames Jess for ruining Robin's
life by pretending to be her friend and making it look like she might
get in PBA. Jess tells Liz that she's the reason Robin got
humiliated at the dance. They're both awful people. At least Jess
doesn't pretend she isn't.
*Weeks go by. Robin walks through the
halls like a ghost, talking to no one. Lila starts wearing a lot of
flashy clothes and jewelry.
*Liz confronts Jess about shoplifting.
Jess denies.
*Liz goes to the mall to look for a
birthday present for Todd. Because she's 60 at heart, she decides to
get him a new watchband. While at the jewelry store, she sees Lila
shoplift a bracelet.
*Liz notices that Robin is losing
weight and this is considered character development I guess. Sigh.
*Lila and Jess go to the mall and Jess
gets detained because the person at the jewelry store remembers
seeing “her” (Liz) at the counter when the bracelet went missing.
Liz tells Lila that she knows about the shoplifting and Lila blames
it on the fact that her dad never pays attention to her. Liz marches
her in to come clean to the security staff and Lila's dad is called.
They make sure Jess doesn't know and Liz promises not to tell anyone
else.
*Lila is given six months of probation
and her dad pays restitution. As long as she stays out of
trouble for the six months, no further action will be taken.
*Robin decides to try out for the cheer
team. Apparently in just a few weeks she's lost all her extra weight
and is now a gorgeous stunner. Because she couldn't have been
gorgeous and curvy at the same time. #fuckyouPascal. She not only makes the team,
she's made co-captain which is just ridiculous. At this point I'm
going to refer Pascal to r/thathappened.
*Bruce follows the “new”
Robin around with his tongue hanging out. He can't believe how hot
she is. Everyone else treats her better too because you should
always base how you treat people on how much they weigh.
*Liz submits a bunch of stories to the
town paper. They're all rejected.
*Jess wants to be “football
queen”. I don't know what it is and I don't care. She wants
Liz to favor her when she writes about the candidates in the school
paper but Liz refuses.
*Robin begins to campaign for queen by
informing the entire school that the members of PBA blackballed her
and are now trying to prevent her from running for queen. This is a
total lie because PBA has no influence over who runs for queen but it
serves to turn people against the sorority sisters.
*Robin wins queen. The PBA offers her
membership and she turns them down. She also disses Bruce and starts
dating Allen. Poor Allen.
*The book ends by setting up the next
one. Jess starts spending a lot of time on the beach with a
college-aged artist named Scott. Liz worries that Jess is in over
her head again.
P.S. Enid was only in this book for about two pages and I think she had one line of dialogue. What's up with that?
So I tallied the number of times that
Robin's weight was mentioned in what I would consider a bullying or
abusive manner. FIFTY TIMES IN 150 PAGES!!! It was disgusting.
What's more disgusting is that NONE of the people who did it learned
anything. They never realized how wrong it was to make fun of a
person because of her weight. They never got called out for the
things they said or did to her. She lost weight and they all decided
to be her friend because she was suddenly worthy in their eyes. It
was horrible and Pascal should have been ashamed of herself for
writing this. Imagine the message it sent to the young kids reading
it. The curvy girls learned they aren't worth anything until they're
skinny and the bullies learned it's okay to call someone “tub of
lard” and “butterball” because it's their own fault they're
fat. I've never hated a book or an author as much as I do now.
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