**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Roger Strikes it rich...No one would have guessed that Roger Barrett, the poorest boy in Sweet Valley, was really one of the Patmans, the wealthiest family in town. But when Roger's mother dies, the secret of his birth is revealed and overnight he becomes a millionaire! Immediately, Jessica Wakefield sets her sights on Roger and his newfound wealth. Only one thing stands in her way – Olivia Davidson, Roger's longtime girlfriend. But not for long. Jessica has a surefire plan to take care of her!
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*Ned Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*Alice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Ken Matthews – star quarterback and resident jock stereotype
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1985 and this is my first time reading it. The cover couldn't be any more 80's with that ridiculous popped collar. Why did we ever think that was cool? Roger looks like a douche. Honestly, if I didn't know it was him, I would assume it was Bruce. The character seems more in line with Bruce than Roger.
In the last book. Tricia died and Steven made a promise to watch out for her sister Betsy who quickly developed a crush on him. Jess wasn't pleased about this because Betsy had a horrible reputation. She turned out to be a good artist, though, and by the end of the book she was a completely different person due to the attention of the exalted Wakefields. In a barely acknowledged C-Plot, Roger's mother died and there was a big reveal that he was really a Patman. Also, Winston ate a lot of pizza.
We begin with Roger and his girlfriend Olivia having lunch at SVH. It's Roger's first day back to school since his mom died a week ago. He recaps his minuscule C-Plot for us, but since I already did that, I'm skipping it. Olivia tells us that Roger is now living with the Patman's and he's already managed to get himself contacts and better clothes.
Apparently Roger's dad knew he existed but since he was married to another woman, he couldn't marry Roger's mom. Instead of, you know, paying fucking child support or something, he willed his entire fortune to his child but stipulated that the kid couldn't know about it until he was 21 or until his mom died, whichever happened first. Roger's dad really sucked. Roger grew up in absolute poverty because of the way that will was written. Apparently Bruce's dad did try to get Roger's mom to take some money at some point but she refused which means she also sucked. Her child was getting absolutely bullied in school because he was so poor and he had to work at night to help pay the bills instead of enjoying his childhood because she was too proud to accept the help that was OWED to Roger.
I'm already mad and we've barely started. This doesn't bode well.
We head hop to Jess who is teasing Lila about Roger being the one who got away. Several books ago, Roger had a huge crush on Lila but she turned him down because he was so poor. Lila pretends she doesn't care how rich Roger is now. She still thinks he's too “scruffy”.
Pascal takes a minute to remind us how perfect the twins are with their hair of sunshine and their “perfect size-six figures”. It's super annoying and my least favorite part of any book.
Jess is pretty excited because the Patman's are going to throw a huge party to welcome Roger into the family officially and she's looking forward to being in the mansion again. Jess loves that house and used to dream about being mistress of it by marrying Bruce. Of course, Bruce is a predator asshole so Jess had to abandon her dream. Now that there's a new Patman in the ranks, she wonders if her dream could actually come true.
We hop into Liz's head for a fraction of a page. It's just long enough for Todd to introduce our apparent B-Plot of this book. Apparently something mysterious is going on with Regina but he leaves Liz hanging and says they'll talk after school. ((Regina is the little sister of that guy Liz cheated on Todd with a couple of books back.))
We're back with Roger now. He's finding it difficult to fit in at the Patman's mansion. Bruce doesn't want him there and Mrs Patman takes every opportunity to tell him that he's doing things wrong. He doesn't wear the right clothes or use the right fork at dinner and he's continually embarrassing her in front of her snooty friends. Roger feels out of place and lonely. Mr Patman tries to make him feel welcome but it doesn't undo the damage being done by the other two.
It's weird that Mr Patman is our nice guy in this book. In previous books, Pascal has definitely painted him as an asshole. It just proves she doesn't retain any information about her characters from one book to the next. It's a trait her characters share as well because none of them ever seem to remember what Jess is like either.
Todd finally calls Liz after school to fill her in about Regina. He says that Regina has been leaving school early lately and he hardly ever sees her in their last period English class. She's also been spending a lot of time alone and acting nervous. He says he has some kind of plan but again won't tell Liz about it until the next day.
What's with Todd and his weird teasers? He's the human version of click bait in this book. If I were Liz, I'd definitely kick him in the shins.
Todd reveals his grand plan to Liz the next day. They're going to skip their last class and try to see where Regina goes when she leaves the school. Liz is scandalized at the idea of skipping school but agrees that they need to find out what's going on in case Regina needs some kind of help. Because the Wakefields are the only people who could ever offer anyone help. They follow Regina to some kind of medical center where she's met by an older man who kisses her cheek and escorts her inside.
(((Note from future me: Pascal refers to this building as a medical center the entire book but it's actually some kind of plaza where a lot of different kinds of businesses rent space. You know what I mean.)))
We skip to Saturday which is the day of the big “Welcome Roger” party. Liz notices Olivia moping about in a corner alone and goes to ask her what's wrong. Olivia tells her that Bruce's mom was really cold toward her and she's worried that Roger will be influenced to break up with her. Liz reassures her that Roger loves her and he won't let his aunt tell him what to do. Meanwhile, Jess is turning on the charm toward Mrs Patman and the woman is falling for it hook, line and sinker. She goes on and on about how considerate and lovely Jess is and then corners Jess to ask her about Roger's other friends. In particular, she seems interested in Olivia. Jess tells her that she doesn't know Olivia very well because Olivia is incredibly shy. Mrs Patman reacts as if being shy is the worst thing a person can be. She tells Jess that Roger needs to date someone more social from a good family and insinuates that Jess would be the perfect person. Jess is thrilled.
For some reason that I can't figure out at all, Olivia approaches Jess later in the buffet line and comments that she wishes she could be confident like Jess. This makes no fucking sense in any way. Olivia doesn't even like Jess. Why would she just go up to her and say she wishes she could be like her? Give me a break, Pascal. At least try to make it make sense. Jess senses an opportunity and figures she can sabotage Olivia while making it look like she's helping. The first thing she does is encourage Olivia to make herself two plates of food because there's nothing more embarrassing than a girl eating a hamburger AND a brownie amirite?
I hate everyone.
Sure enough, Bruce teases Olivia for actually eating and Olivia is humiliated.
What the fuck does Pascal have against girls eating? I sense some deep-seated issues here in Pascal's own life.
Later, Jess talks Olivia into diving and Olivia does a belly flop and embarrasses herself even further. I guess we're supposed to believe that Jess set that up too but there's no conceivable way that Jess could have predicted that would happen. Pascal thinks we're all idiots. Then she plans for Roger and Olivia to join her and Bruce for a game of doubles tennis. Roger is a track dude and Olivia doesn't sport so Jess is sure this will lead to further humiliation for Olivia while simultaneously making Roger see how awesome Jess is on the court.
On Monday afternoon, most of the student body of SVH are lounging around outside after school for some reason instead of going home like normal people, when a beige Ferrari pulls into the parking lot. The attractive older man that Liz and Todd saw Regina with earlier in the book gets out and approaches Lila asking her if she could direct him to Regina. Regina comes running out of the school calling the man Lane. They get into his Ferrari and take off. Rumors begin to fly.
While that's going on, Olivia and Jess are at the mall to look at tennis clothes for the tennis shenanigans the next afternoon. Olivia tries on some tennis shorts and a polo shirt and instantly feels ridiculous. She tells Jess that she'd rather just wear her gym shorts and Jess agrees that it might be best. She leads Olivia into a dress shop and asks what she's wearing to the country club dance. Olivia has picked out some fabric to make her own dress but Jess confides in her that Roger is having a hard time with his aunt and it might make things easier on him if Olivia was a little more classy and tried harder to fit in. Olivia thinks to herself that Jess is right – she's just one big embarrassment and not right for Roger at all.
Hold up. Olivia knows Jess. She knows what Jess does and how she operates. Why is she trusting her here? It makes no logical sense. It's like Pascal expects us to believe that no one ever remembers what Jess does except Todd.
The next day at school, Lila is super busy telling everyone who will listen that Regina is probably having sex with Lane. Caroline, the biggest gossip at SVH, absorbs the info and Lila congratulates herself at taking Regina's reputation down a few notches. Pascal really hasn't explained Lila's motives at all. She wrote in a brief paragraph where Todd speculated that Lila didn't like having another rich girl in town but it didn't make much sense and feels pretty weak. I don't know what I was expecting.
Caroline asks Lila and Jess who they are taking to the country club dance and they both evade the question. Lila doesn't have a date and Jess is still hoping to end up with Roger. Caroline says that her boyfriend Adam won't be able to make it because he lives two hours away. Lila is instantly suspicious. She's never heard of this Adam guy and she starts interrogating Caroline about him. Caroline says they met at a party and he's been writing her daily letters ever since. I guess this is our C-plot for the book.
We skip to the tennis match. Jess suggests that they play boys against girls first. I'm not sure why. Olivia is a disaster. After each mistake she makes, Roger tries to call out something helpful she can do to improve and Jess can tell that Olivia is getting pissed off about it. She makes sure to tell Olivia how well she's doing for a beginner so Olivia feels like Jess is on her side and Roger isn't. After two games, Olivia tells them that she wants to go home. Roger is disappointed and tries to convince her to stay but Jess offers to drive her home. She doesn't want Olivia and Roger to have time alone and work things out.
The next day, Regina approaches Liz and asks her to come to her house after school. Liz agrees, hoping she'll get to the bottom of the B-plot. It turns out that Lane is a model scout and he discovered Regina downtown one day. She's been doing a photo shoot for a magazine and they decided to give her the cover for the next month's issue. Liz is excited for her. Regina asks her to keep it a secret until the magazine comes out. She gives some weird reason about fighting her own battles and not giving into rumors which really doesn't make much sense but nothing else in this book has either. Later, Todd asks Liz what she found out and Liz says that she can't tell him. Todd acts like a four-year-old about it as usual.
At school the next day Olivia betrays us all by introducing a D-plot. There's some kind of playwriting contest that she tells Liz about. Liz wants to enter but there's only a month until submissions have to be in. I'm sure this won't cause any conflict with her super mature boyfriend when she has to write instead of spending time with him.
Jess rocks up and tells Liz that she and Olivia are going to Olivia's house to hem a dress for the country club dance. Liz is a little suspicious about Jess's motives since Jess doesn't sew but decides to keep her nose out of it for once. Jess goes back to Olivia's house where she's dismayed to discover that the dress is cotton. Olivia defends it, saying that the fabric is imported from Greece. She's designed the dress so it has a V-neck and a sash around the waist and Jess thinks it would make a lovely swimsuit coverup but a lousy dress for the dance. She tells Olivia that it's too informal and all eyes will be on her since she's there with Roger. She hints that the dress will be a huge embarrassment to Roger and that Olivia should buy a new one.
Olivia doesn't have the money to purchase a new dress so she's feeling pretty lousy. Jess drives the sword a little deeper by saying that the Patman's are all Roger has left in the world and it's Olivia's responsibility to make sure that Roger makes a good impression because if he doesn't, his life is going to be completely miserable in their house. Olivia is crushed. She knows there's no way that she can go to this dance with Roger. She'll just end up ruining his life. In fact, there's no way the two of them can stay together.
Jess really is a master.
Meanwhile, Mrs Patman is calling Roger into her room to talk to him. She asks about his hobbies and then looks down her nose at them, declaring running to be sweaty and not very social. She asks about his future plans and then expresses dismay when he tells her he wants to be a doctor because it's “messy”. Then she asks who he's taking to the dance. When he says Olivia, Mrs Patman gets all fluttery. She implies that Olivia won't be suitable at all and suggests that Bruce can set him up with someone who won't embarrass the entire family. Roger wants to go with Olivia but feels bad about going against his aunt who has taken him in when he had nowhere else to go. He tells her he'll think about it. He's determined to make the Patmans proud of him to pay them back for all they've done.
The next day, Regina tells Liz that she's meeting with Lane to go over the photo proofs for the magazine. Somehow Lila manages to overhear the part about meeting Lane but not the part about the photos or the magazine. It's really dumb and unbelievable but Pascal thinks we're idiots. Lila decides to hang out in the parking lot and follow Regina to see where she's going.
Regina and Lane go to his office with Lila not far behind them. She overhears the receptionist and an assistant talking about Regina being in the magazine and she freaks out. She fantasizes about Lane seeing her and deciding that she should be in the magazine instead which also doesn't make sense because Lane ALREADY SAW HER AT THE SCHOOL. He talked to her. So if seeing her was going to change his mind, it would have already been changed. Fucking hell, Pascal. Anyway, Lila makes an appointment to see him later in the week, thinking her beauty will definitely get Regina fired.
We skip to Olivia and Roger outside of the school. She tells him that she can't go to the dance with him after all because she feels like she won't be able to be herself around his family. She admits to him that the Patmans make her feel really uncomfortable and she feels like a clod around them. He protests that it's going to be really embarrassing for him if she backs out because he already told everyone that she was going with him. She accuses him of being more worried about his feelings than hers and this pisses him off so they break up.
When Jess hears about the breakup, she immediately goes to the Patman mansion to talk to Roger. Mrs Patman answers the door herself which is so unrealistic that it knocks me right out of the story. Mrs P would never deign to answer the door herself. If they don't have a butler, she'd certainly have a maid do it. Anyway, she's thrilled to see Jess and leads her out to the patio where Roger is reading. Jess goes on full-sabotage mode, telling Roger that Olivia broke up with him so he'd go to the dance alone and everyone would laugh at him. She says that Olivia's jealous of his new life and wants him to go back to being poor and unhappy. Jess lets it slip that she doesn't have a date for the dance and Roger immediately asks her.
Honestly, Olivia is better off without him. If he'd believe those things about her, he obviously doesn't know her very well or think very highly of her. Plus, he's also aware of who Jess is and everything she's done before. He's supposed to be smart. He should know better than to believe her.
When Roger tells his aunt, she's thrilled. Roger is happy that he's finally pleased her but down deep he misses Olivia.
Sure you do.
Lila goes to her meeting with Lane and finds out that Regina is not only in the magazine, but on the cover and it's already gone to production. She's upset that there's nothing she can do to prevent Regina from being in the magazine. Lane adds insult to injury by telling Lila that she doesn't have the bone structure to be a model and her face would photograph really flat. It's not a nice thing to say but the modeling industry isn't nice. Lila leaves fuming.
We skip to the day of the dance. Roger is in his uncle's room looking for some cufflinks to wear when his aunt comes into the attached sitting room. She's on the phone and doesn't know he's in there. He keeps quiet because he's afraid he'll get in trouble even though his uncle gave him permission to look for the cufflinks. His aunt is talking to a friend about how happy she is that Roger broke up with Olivia. She mentions that she thinks Jess had something to do with it but THERE'S NO WAY SHE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE THIS FUCKING INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pascal's not even trying at this point. It would have made more sense for Roger to overhear JESS talking about the things she did to break them up. Mrs Patman would know NONE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roger is upset that he hadn't been suspicious of Jess spending time with Olivia. I'm upset too because you're all fucking idiots.
Roger calls the Wakefield house and asks to meet with both Liz and Jess together before the dance. Jess has been getting ready and Liz has been doing research for our D-plot but they agree to meet with him. When he arrives, he tells them that he's made a horrible mistake and that he needs to fix things with Olivia. Jess can't exactly talk him out of it with Liz standing right there but she's furious. Roger tells Jess that he can't take her to the dance and then he and Liz leave to go talk to Olivia. Jess calls Neil and surprises him with the news that he can take her to the dance.
I don't remember who Neil is. I also don't care.
Roger and Liz get to Olivia's house. He starts apologizing right away. He tells her what Jess did (EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT SHE DID BECAUSE ALL MRS PATMAN SAID WAS THAT SHE SUSPECTED JESS HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. BUT SUDDENLY ROGER IS SPOUTING INFORMATION ABOUT HOW JESS WANTED TO MAKE OLIVIA FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND ROGER FEEL LIKE SHE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. THERE'S NO WAY FOR HIM TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
He tells Olivia that he wants to take her to the dance to prove to his aunt that being a Patman isn't going to change who he is. Olivia agrees but then takes Liz aside to show her the dress and ask her if it's okay to wear. Liz assures her that it's a beautiful dress and Roger will love her in it.
When Liz gets home, she confronts Jess. Jess puts on her innocent eyes and tells Liz that she was truly only trying to help Olivia and she just made a mess of things because she didn't realize how insecure both Olivia and Roger are. Liz buys it because she's a fucking idiot. Jess then shows her the magazine with Regina on the cover and says that Todd called three times while Liz was gone. Liz figures he saw the magazine and he's upset with her for keeping the secret.
I don't really know what happens between Liz and Todd because Pascal doesn't bother to write it. She just has them come into the dance all lovey-dovey as usual so I guess the B-plot had finally reached it's conclusion.
Mrs Patman pulls Roger aside after the receiving line at the dance is over to tell him he's an embarrassment. Mr Patman overhears and chews his wife out for not being welcoming to their new nephew. When she leaves, Mr Patman tells Roger that he's proud of how well Roger is adjusting to everything and he doesn't want him to change who he is. Roger is grateful. Mr Patman also says that Olivia is a lovely girl and she's always welcome in their home and at their events.
We end the book with our C-plot. Lila leaves her date Drake-not-Aubrey to fix her hair in the ladies' room. A whole bunch of girls are there fussing over Regina. Lila is furious about the attention Regina is getting. Caroline accuses her of being jealous so Lila retaliates by asking her where this boyfriend of hers is. Caroline instantly gets flustered and says he couldn't make it. Cara and Lila clearly don't believe in the existence of this boyfriend, so Caroline pulls a letter out of her pocket. Imma just leave this here.....
“How I wish I could be with you tonight at the dance. But, Caroline, as long as you know I love you, everything will be all right. You asked me the other day how much I loved you. Caroline, it's pretty heard to measure how I feel. Let me put it this way: I love you to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach when feeling out of sight. And if you'll be mine, nothing shall ever keep us apart. I'll love you even more after our deaths.”
Um.
Is that a threat?
That feels like a threat.
Caroline, honey, you should take this to the police.
Lila and Cara make fun of the letter for obvious reasons. It's pretty cringey. Cara still doesn't believe in George Glass.....ahem....I meant Adam....and basically asks Caroline to produce him in person for proof. Caroline gets more nervous and says he's going to try to get the car so he can visit soon.
The book ends with Caroline feeling worried about the week ahead.
I'd be more worried that Adam wants to reenact Romeo and Juliet.
Coming up Next: IDK. Caroline either has or doesn't have a boyfriend that either wants or doesn't want to murder her.
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