**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Make believe romance.... Caroline Pearce has always been one of the least popular girls at Sweet Valley High. But when she invents a new out-of-town boyfriend, people finally start to pay attention to her. Brown-eyed, six-foot Adam and his romantic love letters are the talk of the school. Caroline has everyone fooled – even clever Jessica Wakefield. But what begins as a bid for love and attention quickly becomes the worst jam of Caroline's life when her friends insist on meeting the boyfriend she's been bragging about. Can Caroline keep the truth a secret, or will her lies be her downfall?
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*Ned Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*Alice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*Steven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag boyfriend and star of the SVH basketball team
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Ken Matthews – star quarterback and resident jock stereotype
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1985 and this is my first time reading it. I swear the Caroline character on the cover looks like someone but I can't figure it out. This is not a strong suit of mine. I tried to Google to see if I could find something but no luck this time. Maybe it will come to me after I stare at it for a month doing this recap.
In the last book, Roger moved into the Patman mansion to being living the life his birth father denied him. He had a lot of friction with Mrs Patman and Bruce and ended up breaking up with Olivia for awhile because his family didn't approve of her but found his courage to be himself in the end. I still say Olivia shouldn't have taken him back though. Our B-plot involved Regina becoming a cover model for a magazine and making Lila jealous. In the C-plot, Caroline waved around love letters from her new boyfriend Adam that felt mildly like he was threatening to kill her. And Liz entering some kind of playwriting contest became our D-plot. That one didn't really have any impact so I'm wondering if it will show up in this book.
This book begins with Caroline thinking back on the party that ended our last book. She tells us that she's felt left out and invisible for most of her life but that all seemed to change when she invented a boyfriend. Now people want to talk to her and about her. She's usually the one doing the talking. Her sister calls her a gossip but Caroline says that she's only trying to keep up with what everyone's doing because she feels so left out of things. Caroline seems like a very lonely person and I can relate to that. I was lonely in school too until my junior year.
Caroline finally gets out of bed and dresses for the beach. The previous evening, she heard Jess and Cara talking about going to the beach and kind of invited herself along. Jess never committed to anything but Caroline figures she can just show up at the Wakefield house and make sure she's included.
We hop into Jess' head. She's spied Caroline through the window and begs Liz to get rid of her. Liz is busy with that playwriting contest so I guess that's going to be our B-plot for the book. Jess manages to convince Liz to do her dirty work yet again, so Liz goes down to answer the door. Caroline asks if Liz and Jess are going to the beach and Liz tells her that she's too busy working on the play. Caroline tries to give her a few compliments but she's awkward and they come across as insults. Liz gets irritated with her and tells her that she should go ahead to the beach and Jess might be along eventually.
Caroline is crushed. She walks down the driveway where the Wakefield trash can has been knocked over. As she picks it up, she notices a piece of paper addressed to some kind of company in San Francisco signed by Alice. She picks it up and reads it. We're given the impression that it's pretty juicy stuff but we don't get to find out what it is.
This letter is clearly a copy. Why would Alice bother to make a copy of something that she's just going to throw in the trash. This makes no sense. Pascal just needed to introduce a C-plot and had no idea how to do it in a logical way.
Hours pass. Caroline eventually finds Jess, Lila and Cara on the beach. Lila is still grumbling about that magazine cover that Regina got while Jess works on her tan and Cara laments about the lack of eligible boys. Caroline spills some random gossip that I doubt will be important. Talk turns to Adam and the girls press Caroline for when he's coming to Sweet Valley. She straight panics and runs off to talk to someone else.
She's not exactly good at diverting suspicion.
While she's gone, the other girls make fun of her. Jess is doing a very unflattering imitation when Caroline comes up behind her. Stung, Caroline asks Jess how she's going to feel when she has to move out of Sweet Valley. Jess has no idea what she's talking about, so Caroline produces the letter she took from the garbage. It's a letter Alice sent to a design firm in San Fran thanking them for their job offer and telling them she was seriously considering it. So San Fran is now officially our C-plot. I really wish Pascal would stick to one plot and do it well instead of introducing three that she's going to do poorly.
Jess goes home pretty much immediately and shows the letter to Liz. They're both pretty freaked out about the idea of moving. When Ned and Alice get home, Jess tearfully confronts them. Things quickly go downhill with Jess dramatically claiming that Ned and Alice are ruining her life and Ned getting pissed that Jess isn't proud of her mother. He says that the decision hasn't been made yet but it's pretty clear that they are leaning toward San Fran.
Of course, they aren't going to go. If they did, Pascal would have to rename the entire series.
Jess ends up getting sent to her room like a child and Liz follows. She's so upset about the idea of moving that she feels physically ill but she knows that throwing a tantrum isn't going to get them anywhere.
Seriously?
Since when?
Historically speaking, throwing a tantrum has always worked out well for Jess.
Liz goes to Jess and tells her that they need to come up with some kind of plan to convince their parents to stay in Sweet Valley. I'm sure it will be a work of pure genius. {{{sarcasm font}}}
Later, Liz and Todd go on a date. He can tell that something's bothering her but she doesn't want to tell him about the potential move so she lies and says she's worried about the B-plot. He reassures her that her play is going to win because the entire town of Sweet Valley knows the fucking rules when it comes to Elizabeth Wakefield and any competitions. When that doesn't immediately change her mood, he demands that she stop looking so down. Wow, Todd. Way to be a douche.
They get to the Dairi Burger where Roger and Olivia are waiting for them. As soon as they sit down, Caroline approaches the table. She asks Liz to apologize to Jess for her because she's realized it was unfair to bring up their mother's drama in front of Jess's friends. Of course, this gets Todd's attention and he angrily demands that Liz tell him what Caroline is talking about.
I really hate Todd.
We don't get to hear that conversation. There's a brief scene with Jess trying to convince Ned that she will evaporate completely if they move but it really amounts to nothing but page filler before we hop into Caroline's head. Caroline is at the library looking for a book of Robert Browning's poetry. I think that's what she's been using to fake the Adam letters and it's pretty clear how she's going to get caught because Liz is basing her play on Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning. Pascal showed her cards on that one way too fast.
Phase one of the Grand Plan is to go to the civic center and sign Ned and Alice up for the Sweet Valley newsletter. They ask the volunteer to send their parents lots of brochures and pamphlets about how wonderful SV is. They think this will remind Ned and Alice of how much they love SV so they won't want to leave.
As expected, pure genius. {{{sarcasm font}}}
We hop into Caroline's head. She tells her older sister Anita about Adam and lets her read the letters. Anita seems pretty impressed and offers to give Caroline a makeover. She helps her find some flattering clothes and cuts her hair or something. She goes to school feeling really confident on Monday but that's soon shattered by several people getting mad at her over gossip she's been spreading. Caroline really doesn't understand what the fuss is all about – she's only trying to help people out by keeping them informed. She runs across Bill who is Liz's competition for the B-plot. She mentions that she saw him talking to the drama teacher earlier and he gets really defensive which leads Caroline to assume that he's getting help on his play. She runs right over to tell Liz that Bill is cheating.
Liz gets irritated immediately, but after Caroline moves on, she talks it over with Todd. Todd points out that Bill isn't the type to cheat on anything and the drama teacher is running the contest, so there's no way he's helping Bill out. Besides, everyone KNOWS the fucking rules about how Liz HAS to win every competition she enters. IT'S THE LAW. Liz sees the logic in this. She drops the topic entirely when she sees Bruce sit down next to Regina.
We hop into Bruce's head. He awkwardly asks Regina to go for a ride with him after school and she ropes him into helping her with her math before she accepts. It was boring. I don't know why it was there.
Oh, hell. Is this the D-plot? We don't need a D-plot, Pascal. The three you are totally mangling are enough.
Caroline goes to sit with Jess and Lila. She produces another letter from Adam and lets them read it. The girls press her for when they'll be meeting Adam and Caroline begins to feel like she's sliding down a very slippery slope. She panics, wondering how long she can keep this lie going before everyone finds out.
This is basically the entire book. People demand proof of Adam and Caroline panics. It's repeated over and over and over.
That night, Liz and Jess surprise their parents with dinner. They've gotten takeout from all their parents' favorite, nostalgic restaurants to remind them of how much they love Sweet Valley. After dinner, Liz asks them to sit and listen to her read her play. As she reads it, Jess begins to recognize some of the language from Adam's letters. She can barely sit still through the rest of the play.
As soon as Liz is done, Jess dashes off to call Lila. She tells Lila that Adam's letters are definitely letters that Robert Browning wrote to Elizabeth Barrett. She thinks that Caroline has been faking Adam's existence and writing the letters herself. Lila is more willing to give Caroline the benefit of the doubt. She thinks Adam exists but he's been plagiarizing letters to send to Caroline. They both vow to get to the bottom of things.
At the next sorority meeting, Jess and Lila corner Caroline and press her about when Adam is coming to visit. Caroline immediately gets super flustered. Lila tells Caroline that they're going to throw Adam a “welcome to Sweet Valley” party the next weekend and he better be there. Caroline tries to deflect but Jess basically says that if he loves her, he'll come to the party and Caroline feels like her back is against the wall.
A 'welcome to Sweet Valley' party makes NO SENSE. Seriously. He isn't moving there. He doesn't even hypothetically spend much time there.
The twins spend the rest of the chapter putting the next phase of their Grand Plan into action. Jess announces she's doing a history project on urban decay and produces several articles about crime and earthquakes in San Fran. Her parents immediately see through this but Jess is feeling too smug to notice. Liz announces that they want to treat Ned and Alice to dinner at the restaurant where he proposed and then sadly laments that they'll probably never eat there again once they move. Again, Ned and Alice know what's up but the twins still count this as a victory because they are the most obtuse people ever.
Caroline gets to school an hour early on Friday. She goes to the journalism room and finds a stack of newspapers from all over the state. Quickly locating the one from the town she's claimed Adam is from, she finds a random boy on the sports page and tears the picture out, hoping to pretend that it's Adam. She shows it to the girls at lunch but they aren't very impressed by it. She tells them that she's going to visit Adam that weekend but they clearly don't believe her.
On Saturday morning, Jess calls Ned and tells him that she's having (imaginary) car trouble out at some canyon. He's confused and asks her what the hell she's doing clear out there. She says she'll explain later and asks him to come pick her up. When he gets there, she reminds him of how much time they used to spend out there when she was younger. He tells her that he's been coming to these canyons since he was a little boy and they take a meander down memory lane for a bit. He checks over the car and then follows her back into town in case she has any further issues. As she's driving into town, she spots Caroline coming out of the grocery store. As soon as she gets home, she phones Lila and tells her that Caroline obviously lied about going to visit Adam.
On Monday morning, Caroline shows up wearing a t-shirt that says “Property of Cold Springs Athletic Dept”. It was actually something her cousin from Cold Springs gave her but she says that it was a gift from Adam. Jess is so confused. She asks Caroline if she invited Adam to Lila's party that weekend. Caroline says that Adam is short of money and can't afford the bus ticket. Lila thwarts that by pulling a bus ticket out of her wallet. I have no idea how she knew to have one ready. It's a huge plot hole but we've come to expect those. Jess changes the subject and tells everyone that Liz will be reading her play in the competition Friday night. She makes sure that Caroline knows the subject of the play and Caroline instantly knows that Jess knows. What's worse, the entire school is going to know as soon as Liz reads her play.
We get a few paragraphs of Liz talking to Regina about Bruce because that is, indeed, our D-plot. Regina is clearly smitten and Liz tries to warn her away. Regina says she's aware of Bruce's reputation but he's been incredibly sweet to her. Liz drops it instead of mentioning that Bruce has sexually harassed and/or assaulted several people in the past 16 books, including Liz herself. I think that would have been information that Regina needed to have.
Caroline asks Liz to meet with her after school. She confesses everything – saying she made up Adam because she was lonely and she wanted to fit in. Liz is pretty nice about it, encouraging Caroline to just tell the truth before anyone else can expose her. Caroline begs her not to read her play for the school and Liz promises to consider it even though part of the rules for entry is to read it for the judges. If she doesn't read it, she can't win and WE ALL KNOW THE FUCKING RULES.
This entire play thing seems so dumb to me. Plays are meant to be performed, not read.
When Liz gets home, she confronts Jess about having the party to humiliate Caroline. Jess admits that she's pretty sure Caroline made Adam up but that she encouraged Lila to have the party anyway because she thinks Caroline needs to be taught a lesson about lying. Liz thinks it's cruel but Jess refuses to back down. The wheels start turning in Liz's head and I really think she's going to get some random guy to pretend to be Adam for a night in order to teach Jess a lesson.
Honestly, none of these people should be teaching anyone a lesson. No one holds the moral high ground here. They're all awful.
Caroline ends up telling her sister Anita everything and Anita gives her a come-to-Jesus-talk about all the gossiping. She tells Caroline that the reason she's left out is because people are afraid of what she's going to spread around school about them. Caroline has a hard time listening to it but she knows Anita is right. She vows to make a change and I'm sure she will because that's all it takes in SV. After all, all Betsy had to do was vow to change and she became a completely different person. There must be something in the water in SV to make all these vows stick so well. That town must rock their New Year's resolutions.
The first thing Caroline does is take back her request for Liz to pass on reading her play. She says she's going to tell Lila and Jess the truth but panics when they approach her. Instead of being 100% honest, she admits that Adam copied the poems out of a book. Jess isn't sure what to think but asks if he's going to be at the party. Caroline panics again and says 'yes'.
Liz talks to Todd and tells him the entire story. She feels like Caroline has already learned her lesson and tells Todd that it will really burn Jess's ass if 'Adam' shows up Saturday night. That's all Todd really needs to hear. He's always looking for opportunities to make Jess look stupid because he's an asshole. He promises to try to find an 'Adam' by Saturday.
This is so dumb, y'all.
Caroline goes up to apologize to Bill. He's pretty gracious about the entire thing and tells her that he dropped out of the contest anyway. He's auditioning for some TV series or something and just didn't have the time to complete the play. Caroline is happy for him and promises that her days of gossiping are over. You know....because she made a vow and it's super easy to change a lifetime of behavior with a vow. {{{sarcasm font}}}
The C-plot is wrapped up in about two paragraphs when Alice announces that she isn't accepting the job offer. She decided that uprooting the girls in their junior year just isn't fair. The offer is apparently open ended and she may take it when they go off to college. The twins are elated.
The B-plot gets wrapped up next. Liz wins the contest because of course she does. No one is allowed to beat Elizabeth Wakefield. EVER. Those people read the rules when they moved to Sweet Valley. Elizabeth Wakefield IS the star of that town and they all just have to accept it. Forever.
And ever.
And ever.
And ever.
We skip to the party now. Caroline has a new dress and Anita has done her hair and make-up. Todd tells her that she looks different – she's actually pretty – and I want to slap him. What kind of compliment is that? Caroline doesn't even care that he basically told her she's ugly every day but today. She's too focused on the announcement she's going to make to the entire party. If Liz and Todd are planning to bail her out, they haven't told her. They're letting her go through all this anxiety to teach her a lesson I guess.
NONE OF THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE TEACHING LESSONS!
Besides, didn't Liz say Caroline already learned her lesson? So is she just doing this because she's a bitch?
As Caroline gears up to make the announcement, a boy bounds up out of nowhere and kisses her. CONSENT PEOPLE! He whispers that she should introduce him as Adam so she does. Jess is stunned and Lila is smug since she thought Adam existed all along. The boy tells Caroline that he's a friend of Todd's so she goes to thank Liz and Todd for saving her life. But, you know, letting her stew about it for a week in the meantime.
As the evening goes on, Caroline realizes that this isn't the answer. She's still going to have to make up things about Adam and she doesn't want to do that anymore. So she takes a big breath and makes her announcement to the crowd after all. She tells everyone that Adam never existed and this guy is named Jerry and he's just playing a role. Then she runs off. Jerry runs after her and tells her that he thinks she's awesome before kissing her again. So all's well that ends well I guess.
Jess is annoyed because even though Caroline told the truth, no one really seemed to care. She didn't get the big comeuppance she was expecting. Lila is still smug because Jess is annoyed and there's nothing Lila likes better I think.
The book ends with setting up the next one as usual.
Coming up Next: it's a Bruce/Regina book. Yay.
No comments:
Post a Comment