**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
From the Back of the Book: Blind love... No one at Sweet Valley High can understand why a shy sensitive girl like Julie Porter is attracted to someone as conceited as Bruce Patman. But no matter what anyone says, Julie detects a warmth in Bruce's piercing blue eyes that's meant only for her. Julie's longtime neighbor and friend, Josh Bowen isn't fooled. He's trying to get into Bruce's fraternity and he knows what the arrogant senior is really like. When he hears that Bruce has invited Julie to a Phi Epsilon party as his date, he's sure that Bruce has a rotten trick in mind. Josh tries to warn Julie and she's furious. She's never had a serious boyfriend before, and she can't understand why everyone's trying to spoil her happiness. But will Bruce make Julie happy, or is he just out to break another heart?
Look, I'm not a Bruce fan but I think the “out to break another heart” is in pretty bad taste when his ex-girlfriend just died from a heart attack a few books ago.
TRIGGER WARNING📢: This book contains multiple occurrences of people being kissed without consent. If that will harm your mental health in any way, please skip this blog.
Why do I have to keep putting this warning on your books, Pascal?
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*Bruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1988 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is kind of boring. I swear I recognize the model for Julie though. It's going to drive me crazy trying to figure out who she looks like.
WAIT! I remember who she reminds me of! She kind of looks like a young Dana Plato.
Maybe it's just me.
In the last book, Robin agonized over choice A (going to Sarah Lawrence and having her college completely paid for by her aunt) or choice B (staying in SV so she could date George and dive) for 100 pages which was really fucking annoying. She eventually picked B but her aunt offered to pay for college anyway so the entire book was pointless. Oh, and Jess tried to date a college senior while Liz lusted after her recorder.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Patty, Eddie and Abbie continue their stay in the Compound's dungeon. At this point we might have to declare them legally dead. The Predator Club conference must still be meeting because CreepySteven, Questionable Mr Collins and Kirk the Jerk remain underground.
Released From the Wakefield Dungeon: One of the founding members of the Predator Club made a grand escape while leaving the others behind. Are we surprised Bruce ditched the rest of them underground? No. No, we are not. I suspect he fled through the escape tunnel Johanna dug because we all know Bruce is too lazy to do it himself.
We begin with Liz playing Recorder in one of the soundproof practice rooms that SVH apparently has for the music students. Must be nice to go to a school district with money. She's missing lunch to practice before her afternoon lesson with Julie.
In the next paragraph it describes Recorder as being made from wood when I clearly remember Jess buying the cheap plastic version. Is Liz cheating on the original Recorder with this wooden one? Or did Pascal just forget to tell ghostie that Recorder is plastic?
I'm betting on the latter.
Jess comes in excited to tell Liz that she's auditioning for another school production. DeeDee is now president of the drama club somehow and she mentioned to Jess that they were having trouble finding someone who “knew ballet” for one of their productions. Jess used to take ballet when she was 12 so she scheduled a tryout.
Ghostie takes a moment to describe how flawlessly perfect the twins are physically but forgets to assign them their usual list of character traits. It feels wrong. How are we supposed to continue on with our lives when this vital information is missing?
We land with Julie who is walking down the hall with her sister Johanna. Neither of them mention Johanna's extended stay in the Wakefield dungeon or how she made her grand escape. I'm picturing something involving a spoon and a lot of fortitude. Johanna is telling Julie about a new computer program she found for writing music. Julie takes the time to remind us what a loser her sister used to be and how she's the only one in the family without any musical ability. Maybe Julie's better off in the dungeon. I think Patty and Abbie are probably nicer people.
Julie tells us that she's struggled with depression since her mom died and she's turned to music to help her sort out her feelings. She's happier with a smaller group of friends and likes her friends to have the exact same interests as her which is just weird. She's glad that Liz has taken up the recorder so they can be friends now.
Liz is like the plague, Julie. You should avoid her at all costs.
Liz comes up as Julie is digging her recorder book out of her locker. She mentions that Bruce, Ronnie and Winston are down the hall in their Phi Epsilon jackets laughing like idiots. I had to consult my spreadsheet to figure out who Ronnie is. He's definitely the guy who dated Enid briefly, slut shamed her and sexually harassed her. He might also be one of the idiots who helped catfish Penny but I'm not sure. That guy was called Ron and Pascal really likes to reuse names so it could be a different guy entirely. At any rate, Ronnie is awful. Bruce is awful. And Winston.....how the hell did he get in that fraternity? He doesn't seem like the type.
They're about to head for the practice rooms when they hear an odd thumping sound coming from one of the lockers. The boys at the end of the hall laugh louder and Bruce tells Winston to go open the locker. Winston explains to the girls that it's pledging season and apparently there's some hazing going on. Bruce comes up and opens the locker, letting Josh out. Josh is Julie's neighbor and friend. We met him in the last book. Bruce tells him that he has more pledge chores to do and then he looks both girls up and down and winks at them suggestively before leaving.
I fucking hate Bruce.
Julie says that she can't believe they'd do something like that to Josh. She describes him as “thoughtful, funny and smart” and Liz wonders what the hell he's doing with the other three. Are we just going to pretend that Winston is like Bruce and Ronnie? Because that's confusing as hell. I know he's done some shit but he's not like the other two. Julie says Josh's older brother was a member of the frat and Josh idolizes him and wants to follow in his footsteps. Liz says Todd was a member when he was at SVH and that explains a lot. She tries to say that the frat has gotten meaner since Todd left but I think he probably participated in the hazing as well. It feels very Todd-like.
Julie says she feels sorry for Bruce because of Regina dying. Julie knows what it's like when someone you love dies. She says Bruce has “sensitive eyes” and so he must be a really good guy underneath. Liz says she's seen a sweet side to him “on occasion” and doesn't bother to mention the occasion where he tried to sexually assault her or the occasions where he sexually harassed Jess. He gets a pass for those I guess.
NOT FROM ME, BRUCE.
Liz does fill her in on how mean and controlling Bruce was when he dated Jess so at least Pascal is willing to acknowledge that.
Crumbs.
We skip ahead some time. Julie and Liz practice in her bedroom. I thought they practiced in that music room? Whatever. VileAlice comes up to make fun of them and say they have “all the dogs in the neighborhood howling” which is such a bitchy thing to say. She also makes fun of Jess who is practicing ballet in the basement. She truly is an amazing mom.
Liz mentions she's going to the Phi Epsilon party on Friday and Julie wistfully says she wishes she could go. Liz invites her to tag along with her and Jeffrey but Julie blushes and says she would feel too shy to be around Bruce. She talks about his eyes again which seems excessive and then calls him a “hunk”. Liz worries that someone as sweet and naive as Julie could get really hurt by someone as thoughtless as Bruce. She warns Julie to be careful around Bruce. Julie says Bruce would never notice her anyway. Then....this from Liz..... “Looking at Julie's sweet face, her simple hair-style, and her conservative clothes, she had to admit Julie was right.”
Julie leaves and Liz goes down to the basement to check on Jess. Jess is struggling so Liz stays to give her some pointers and, naturally, Jess improves because Liz is good at everything.
We're back with Julie. She, Liz and Josh are at some random ice cream shop after school. Josh's mom and Julie's dad are in the same orchestra and Julie is telling Liz all about it because Liz is suddenly all about the music. Josh is distracted. A couple of guys from the frat are supposed to meet him there and he's worried about what they'll make him do next.
Bruce, Ronnie, Michael, Tom and Bill all come in. They order five massive sundaes and then bring them to Josh, ordering him to eat them. He gets two and a half down before he gets sick. Julie tries to comfort him. Bruce comes up with club soda and expresses concern for Josh which I'm not buying but Julie does. She thinks Bruce is ever so dreamy and considerate for checking up on Josh.
Tom and Bill being part of this hazing is confusing me as much as Winston did. Pascal can't write consistent characters to save her life.
Bruce flirts with her a bit because he can tell she's into him. Liz is irritated and says she needs to go home. She offers Julie and Josh a ride. In her two-seat car. Sigh. Josh accepts but Julie declines so she can hang out with Bruce some more. When they leave, Bruce asks Julie if Josh is her boyfriend. Julie says they've been best friends most of their lives. Bruce asks her to the frat party on Friday.
We're back with Jess. She's leotard shopping for the B-plot (the play audition) with Lila. They see a tall, graceful blonde girl come out of one of the dressing rooms and Jess says she looks familiar. Lila says it's Danielle, a senior who has never existed before this book and will probably never exist again. Jess is worried that Danielle might be trying out for the play but when she talks to her, Danielle says she has an audition with the Los Angeles Ballet Company.
I guess that will be important later. It's hard to tell with Pascal.
Julie tells Josh that she has a date with Bruce. He isn't thrilled. He warns her to be careful and says that Bruce isn't a very nice guy. Julie argues that he's compassionate because he has sensitive eyes and he brought Josh a club soda after making him throw up. Julie decides that Josh is just jealous and misinformed.
Back to Liz. She keeps blowing Jeffrey off to be with Recorder. He's taking it really well though. Maybe he's thankful not to have to spend much time with her. Enid rocks up and asks for a ride to the party on Friday because Hugh has a basketball game or something. I guess Hugh is still a thing. Jeffrey jokes that Liz might ditch them both for Recorder and Enid laughs.
Liz goes to meet up with Julie and finds her playing piano in one of the music rooms. She's blown away by Julie's talent despite knowing that Julie is a very talented musician. Julie tells her about the date with Bruce and Liz is shooketh. She immediately thinks that Bruce is up to something because there's no way in hell he could be interested in Julie. She knows he can't be trying to make an ex jealous because if he was, he would have asked someone beautiful to go.
This is supposed to be our heroine, y'all. This is the girl Pascal continuously holds up as a paragon of kindness, loyalty and compassion. Yikes.
Liz tries to warn Julie again about Bruce by saying he's not the most honest guy in the world.
HE TRIED TO S.A. YOU, LIZ! SAY THAT!
For fuck's sake.
Julie says she's not helpless and she's not stupid. She figures Bruce has a reputation for cycling through girls because they're all after his money and they just don't understand him. Liz feels bad and tells Julie that she's honestly happy for her and hopes she has a good time.
No one should be happy Julie is going out with a predator.
Back with Jess. There's a lot of unhealthy talk around food and body size in this section so I'm just going to skip it. Pascal really has a problem, y'all.
Talk circles around to the frat party and Liz mentions her concerns about Bruce and Julie. Jess is confused because she heard Bruce asked some other girl to the party. Liz asks who but Jess doesn't know. All she knows is tall, blonde, senior.
Hmmmmm. Who does that sound like?
We skip ahead to Thursday. Liz approaches Lila to talk to her about the Bruce situation. I really feel like Cara or Caroline would have been a better bet since they usually have all the gossip. Lila starts talking first. She wants Liz to run a fake story in the Eyes and Ears column about Lila dating a college boy to discourage sports reporter John. Apparently John is infatuated with Lila and she's not that into him. Liz turns her down and then asks if she's heard who Bruce invited to the party. Lila refuses to tell Liz a damn thing since she wouldn't help with the John situation. It's always fun to watch people stick it to Liz.
We land in Josh's head. I think. Bruce has the pledges cleaning his basement party room. Bruce is being a dick to everyone and makes a couple of homophobic jokes. Pascal is just awful. Josh tells Bruce that he has a lousy sense of humor and Bruce pushes him to the floor and gets on top of him. Ronnie, Tom and sports editor John rush over and pull Bruce off Josh. Josh leaves. Sports editor John catches up with him and tells him not to take Bruce too seriously. He thinks Bruce is acting tough because he's grieving Regina. It's not an excuse, sports editor John, and we should definitely take physical violence seriously. Then he says that Josh reminds Bruce of how Bruce used to be when he was with Regina so he's trying to toughen Josh up so he doesn't get hurt like Bruce got hurt.
That makes no fucking sense.
Josh buys it though and starts to feel sorry for Bruce.
Josh leaves and starts thinking about Julie as he drives. He acknowledges that his feelings for her have changed and that he'd like to be more than just friends. As he's passing SVH, he sees Liz walking out and asks her if she wants a ride home. She accepts and naturally they start to talk about Julie and Bruce. Liz mentions that she heard a rumor that Bruce had asked another girl to the party but she doesn't know whether to tell Julie or not because she can't confirm it. Josh says they should tell her anyway. They drive straight over to Julie's house.
Liz 100% was NEVER going to tell Julie about the other girl. We know this about her. She's not a girl's girl.
We land in Julie's head for this. Liz tells Julie that they've heard a rumor that Bruce asked another girl to the party. Julie denies it. Liz tells her that Bruce can't be trusted. Julie counters that the other girl must have turned him down. Then she flips completely and starts crying about Bruce leading her on. Josh holds her and strokes her hair. He reminds her that it's just a rumor and they couldn't confirm anything but they felt like they should tell her. She thanks them for letting her know and says she has a lot to think about.
After they leave she decides that the rumor doesn't matter because Bruce has beautiful eyes and a soothing voice.
Girl. Please.
She figures even if they only go to this one party together, it will be a night she remembers forever.
I fear that might be true.
Back to Jess and the B-plot. She's dismayed when Danielle shows up to audition. Danielle does a great job, of course, but Jess is the one asked to come back. The director tells her to read the play carefully and then come back ready to read the next afternoon. Jess is ecstatic.
Is the part for a bad dancer? I have a feeling it is.
We skip to the next day and slide into Liz's head. She's finishing up her column for The Oracle when Olivia walks up with a paper she found on her desk. It says it's a scoop about the frat party and mentions the names Tom, Amy, Winston, and Danielle. Liz doesn't bother to read it, saying the party will be old news by the time the paper comes out. She turns in her column and then races to the auditorium to wish Jess luck on her callback.
While she's talking to Jess, Danielle walks by. She congratulates Jess on the callback and says she was using the audition to practice for her ballet company thing. Then she says she's going to go see her date before the party starts and she takes off. Liz realizes that Danielle matches the description of the girl Bruce may or may not have asked to the party. She wishes Jess luck and then goes back to read that article she dismissed earlier. Sure enough it mentions that Bruce has been seen hanging around with Danielle a lot and predicts she may be his date for the party.
Liz goes to find Julie. Julie asks if she can get a ride to the party because Bruce is too busy setting up the party to pick her up. She looks so happy about going that Liz decides not to mention her suspicions about Danielle.
I told you.
We slip into Jess's head for the callback. She still hasn't read the play. The director asks her to get up on stage and dance badly because Essie – the part she's auditioning for – thinks she's a great ballerina but she's actually an awful dancer. Jess realizes this is a comic role and that she'll have to make a fool of herself on stage. She's devastated.
We go back to Liz as she, Jeffrey, Enid and Julie arrive at Bruce's house for the party. Julie is awestruck by his mansion. Josh is answering the door and they've made him wear a long wig and a dress and Pascal acts like it's the most humiliating thing that could ever happen to a boy. Sigh.
We slide into Julie's head without warning. Bruce seems happy to see her. He offers her a tour of the house. He shows her the game room and the pool where he makes a suggestive comment about skinny dipping. He takes her up to his room and says something about his bed being really comfortable. Then he just takes her back downstairs. It's weird.
An hour passes and I guess we're back in Liz's head. She hasn't seen Julie in awhile but she sees Bruce with Danielle. She watches as he kisses her and then walks away. She thinks about telling Julie but doesn't want to ruin her night. Liz is nothing if not predictable.
Liz sees Jess moping around and assumes she didn't get the part. Jess says she did get the part but she's not happy about it. Liz tells her it's her own fault for not reading the play beforehand, which is true but still such a bitchy thing to say. She could at least try to be sympathetic.
We jump back into Julie's head. Bruce leads her to a dark alcove and says they'll be more comfortable there “with a sensuous gleam in his eye”. Gross. He starts “smiling seductively” at her and running his hands through her hair. Just when she thinks he's about to kiss her, he tells her that he wants to go put on a special song so they'll always remember how special their first kiss was. She thinks this is the most romantic thing that ever happened to her.
We just slip into the twinsie's heads again. Liz convinces Jess that everyone loves the comedic parts best. The music changes to some classical jazz and Liz looks toward the CD player. She sees Bruce and Danielle laughing and kissing each other.
We jump back to Julie. She's dazzled by Bruce playing classical music for their first kiss. She thinks it means they're meant to be together forever. Bruce comes back and kisses her right away. The lights come on and she's shocked to see she was actually kissing Josh. He seems just as confused as she is. Everyone starts laughing and she realizes it was a prank.
We hop back into Liz's head so she can watch Julie run from the room crying. She runs after her but Julie doesn't stop until she's at the street. Liz asks what happened and Julie says the frat played a trick on her. She believes Josh was in on it too. She explains the whole thing to Liz who consoles her by saying people will eventually forget all about it.
That's not exactly helpful, Liz.
We land in Josh's head. Bruce congratulates him on pulling off the assignment. Josh is pissed because Bruce told him it was going to be some random girl in there and Josh was under the impression that the girl had consented to this. He'd been told that the girl was going to kiss all the pledges and then score them and declare a winner. Josh feels horrible and doesn't know what to do.
Are we surprised Bruce set up a prank that involved kissing someone without their consent? No. No, we are not.
Winston calls Josh over. He's pretty disgusted with how the pledge season is going this year. He says that Bruce is trying to get as many of his friends in the frat as possible and it's changing the dynamic. Josh says it would be nice to turn the frat back to how it was when his brother was a member but Winston doesn't seem to have much hope that such a thing could happen.
THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL IN THE FRAT?
We jump ahead to Monday and we're back with Julie. She's more hurt by Josh's role in what happened than by Bruce. As she walks through the halls, she starts to hear really bad accordion music. She comes across a boy playing accordion and holding another boy on a leash. The boy on the leash is dancing and kissing any girl who comes close to him.
Pascal, this isn't acceptable. Kissing girls without their consent IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP PUTTING TRIGGER WARNINGS ON A BLOG RECAPPING BOOKS AIMED AT TWELVE YEAR OLDS?
Josh kisses Julie when she gets close and she's humiliated all over again. Josh is horrified because he didn't realize it was her before he put his fucking mouth on her. He asks her if he can explain but she just takes off.
We're with Josh now. I was on his side until that last bit and now I'm ready for him to start his stint in the dungeon. For all the non-consensual kissing, he gets fucking bullet points.
*He's sticking with the frat because he doesn't want to disappoint his brother.
*Liz asks him for a ride to the dentist.
*Josh tells Liz what happened at the party. He asks her to tell Julie. She says she will.
Back with Julie. It's the next day. Liz comes to talk to her and Julie tries to blow her off. That's always the wisest course of action. Liz tells her Josh's version of the party prank. Julie is still pissed at him because he wants to be in a frat that would do that to a girl. I agree with her here. Liz acts like she's being unreasonable but she isn't. I'd feel the same way. I could never be friends with someone who belonged to an organization that did things like that.
Back to Josh and the bullet points.
*He misses Julie.
*He's trying to avoid Bruce and the rest of the frat.
*Liz tells him that Julie thinks he was in on everything because if he wasn't, he would have stopped pledging.
*Bruce tries to make him take Julie six bowls of jello at lunch. I don't know why. Josh refuses. He dumps the jello on Bruce.
*Liz literally stands up and claps.
*Josh quits pledging.
*Josh apologizes to Julie. She accepts.
*Julie kisses Josh.
We skip ahead some time. Jess is brilliant in the play and everyone loves her. Afterwards she sees Lila, Cara, Maria, Sally and Caroline all giggling over something. She doesn't get a chance to see what it is though and the book ends there.
The only positive thing I can say about this book is that it didn't have as much Bruce in it as I'd feared. And the B-plot wasn't annoying. The rest was garbage.
Coming Up Next: I guess we find out what they were giggling about. I, for one, can't wait.
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