**This blog contains adult language.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to know what cold-hearted-bitch move the twins made this book.
*NOTE: I am very aware that these books were written by ghost writers but since Pascal put her name on the cover, I'm holding her solely responsible for everything that happens on these pages.
From the Back of the Book: Madly in love… Pretty and talented Olivia Davidson has always seemed independent. So it comes as a total surprise to Elizabeth Wakefield when Olivia confides in her that she’s lonely. Everyone she knows is going out with someone, and now she’s ready for a new boyfriend. Then Stuart Bachman, a gorgeous artist, starts teaching at Sweet Valley High. Olivia takes his class and is completely swept off her feet by him. Soon Mr Bachman is all Olivia thinks or talks about. And it looks as if he may return her feelings. Has Olivia found true love, or is she headed for a heartbreak?
Um….two things. One, that description makes me feel very, very icky. Two, it wasn’t included on the Goodreads or the Amazon listing. Here’s what the Goodreads listing says: “Elizabeth Wakefield is surprised and worried when her friend, the pretty and talented Olivia Davidson, develops a crush on the handsome new art teacher.” The Amazon listing is slightly different but still cuts out all mention of the teacher returning her feelings. I had to go to ebay and search for a seller that had a picture of the back of the book in order to find what was actually written on it at the time of publication. Maybe it’s just because the book is old and Amazon and Goodreads didn’t get the blurb info but I kind of wonder if they changed it on purpose because it sounds so bad.
📢TRIGGER WARNING📢: The art teacher in this gives off creepy vibes. While he technically didn’t do anything that I would call illegal, he did act inappropriately several times and just generally made me uncomfy. If questionable student/teacher relationships are a trigger for you, please don’t read this one.
Meet the Cast
*Elizabeth Wakefield – identical twin of Jessica and massive fucking martyr.
*Jessica Wakefield – identical twin of Elizabeth with narcissistic and histrionic tendencies
*EvilNed Wakefield – neglectful patriarch of the clan and successful lawyer
*VileAlice Wakefield – neglectful matriarch of the clan and an interior designer
*CreepySteven Wakefield – older brother, university student and general asshole
*Enid Rollins – Liz's best friend and generic good-girl type
*Todd Wilkins – Liz's douchebag former boyfriend currently exiled to Vermont
*Lila Fowler – Jessica's self-absorbed best friend and representative of SV new money
*DisgustingBruce Patman – school dick and representative of SV old money
*Winston Egbert – stereotypical school nerd
*Jeffrey French – Liz's new victim....I mean love interest
There are more but these are the main characters that plague us book after book.
This book was published in 1989 and this is my first time reading it. The cover is pretty benign. The cover model is way too old as usual but at least they didn’t depict her cuddled up to a teacher.
In the last book, Jess and Winston were lost at sea and marooned on an island for about 30 hours due to horrific negligence on behalf of Sweet Valley High. Seriously, if I were their parents I’d sue. They learned there’s more to each other than they thought and had an illogical bear encounter. That’s twice for Jess if you’re keeping track. I’m not sure Pascal is.
Missing, Presumed Dead: Kirkthejerk, Jade and Roger remain hidden under the Wakefield Compound. Most of the Wakefield clan joined them this time as VileAlice, EvilNed and CreepySteven made zero appearances in this book. Unfortunately poor Prince Albert also got trapped down there. This better only be temporary, Pascal. #freethedogorweriot
Escaped From the Wakefield Dungeon: No one. The locks held tight this time.
At the end of the last book we learned that Sweet Valley High was going to start offering micro-courses in a variety of topics and that’s where this book starts. Jess is super excited about the idea because math class will be shortened by five minutes and the micro-courses won’t be graded. Lila says she’s signing up for a dress designing course. Liz asks Enid what she wants to sign up for and Enid says she’s picked painting. Jeffrey is signing up for electronics. Jess is considering filmmaking.
Lila tells the lunch table that her dad is dating a soap opera star named Anika and Jess is instantly annoyed. She hates that Lila has such a charmed life as the daughter of one of SV’s richest men. She tells Lila to get an autographed picture or it didn’t happen. Lila says she doesn’t have to prove shit to Jess. It looks like they’re fighting again. I really can't keep up on whether they like each other or hate each other.
I guess I have to add Anika to the spreadsheet since she got named. Pascal really needs to stop adding characters.
The topic turns back to the micro-courses which I’m already tired of typing out. From now on, they’re MCs. Liz explains how it all works. Every class (not just math) and lunch will be reduced by 5 minutes as well as extending the school day by 10 minutes to allow for 50 minutes of instruction in the MCs. The courses will last for two weeks. The students are to submit their first, second, third and fourth choices and then classes will be formed. Jess puts filmmaking as first choice, pottery as second, electronics as third because it will be full of boys and dress design as fourth.
Ghostie pauses to tell us how physically perfect the twins are (golden tans, silky hair and ocean eyes). Liz is called “serious and hardworking”. One of those might be true if you squint. Jess is called “social” and a person who thrives on excitement. Both of those are accurate. Again, ghostie gets a 50% for knowing the characters they’ve been paid to write about.
We skip ahead a few hours. Jeffrey and Liz are in the Oracle office being annoying as usual with their dry toast PDA. I’m sure Pascal thinks they have amazing chemistry and every interaction is romantic but they just read like two children pretending to be in love while playing house together. Olivia comes in and says she’s hoping the MCs inspire some people to be more artsy. Liz asks her what she signed up for and Olivia says painting was her first choice.
Jeffrey has to leave to take some pictures for the paper so he kisses Liz on the cheek and takes off. This seems to irritate Olivia who snaps that Liz is lucky to have a boyfriend.
I think so too. Liz is awful and I can’t believe any guy would want to spend his free time with her.
Olivia moans about not dating anyone since she and Roger broke up. I can’t even remember why they broke up. Was she being clingy or something? I should add some of this to my spreadsheet. Liz tells her that she can be happy without a man and Olivia asks her how she would know. Liz moved on with Jeffrey super fast after Todd left. Liz sniffs and says, yes, she’s always had a boyfriend but she still considers herself an independent woman. Olivia says wants a boyfriend because she’s lonely and Liz gets super judgmental about it. She tells her that you can still feel lonely even with a boyfriend and it’s “nuts to think that having a boyfriend will make all your troubles vanish”.
Nice, Liz. Very sensitive. You're a true friend.
Olivia says that everyone seems paired up and she feels out of place. Liz can’t believe that Olivia is upset about this because she’s “pretty and talented” and apparently that cancels out the basic human need for companionship that some of the population feels.
Pretty solves all problems.✅ Boyfriends don’t.❎ Got it, Liz. Thank you.
We skip to Monday. Liz gossips about Olivia with Enid on the way to school. Liz continues to be judgmental and dismissive of Olivia’s feelings but Enid steps in to defend her saying that it’s natural for Olivia to want to date someone. Then she says “And I don’t blame her for feeling a twinge of jealousy about you and Jeffrey. You two are such a perfect couple.” Who the hell said Olivia was jealous of Liz and Jeffrey?
You know the only reason those two sentences were in this book was to foreshadow about Todd coming back. I can't believe they couldn't find a better way to do that.
What am I saying? Yes, I can. They never find a natural way to foreshadow anything in these books.
Olivia meets them in the parking lot for some reason. They watch as Bill/DeeDee and Maria/Winston walk into the school. Olivia wonders if everyone is signing up for the MCs in couples. Liz triumphantly says that she didn’t as if this proves she’s not like the other girls or something. Olivia hurries away when Jeffrey approaches. Liz thinks to herself that Olivia is just “needy” and dismisses her feelings again.
Liz sucks. I will die on that hill.
We hop over to Jess who is in the crowd of people trying to see what MC they’ve been assigned to. Lila got dress designing like she wanted. Winston and Jeffrey got electronics. Enid, Liz and Olivia got painting. Cara got pottery. Maria got nutrition and fitness. Jess ended up with electronics and she’s bummed when she scans the list and realizes none of the guys signed up for it are hot.
How did everyone end up with their first choice except Jess? That seems....targeted.
Questionable Mr Collins has an assembly that morning to kick off the program. He tells everyone that they will be responsible for a project that will be presented during a fair on the last day. He introduces the teachers and I don’t really care. The painting teacher is Stuart Bachman, a local artist. He’s hot and all the girls perk up.
Lila teases Jess about having to take electronics to the point where even I want to smack her. Jess is getting more and more pissed about it. She tries to think of something she can do to “put her friend in her place”.
We skip over the rest of the day and land in Liz’s head just in time for the painting workshop to begin. Olivia is clearly already crushing on Bachman. When he comes in, he instructs all the students to call him by his first name. He says it’s his only rule. I refuse.
Teachers who do this are removing one of the social cues that remind students that they are not peers. I’m not saying it’s always (or even often) grooming but I am saying that I don’t think it should be allowed in middle school or high school settings. Teenagers need to remember that their teachers are not potential partners and calling them by their first name blurs this distinction.
Anyway.
Bachman says he works as a graphic artist because painting doesn’t pay the bills. All of the students – particularly the girls – are hanging on his every word. Olivia can’t take her eyes off him.
We hop over to Jess in electronics class. The teacher asks them if they have any ideas for their projects. Jeffrey says he wants to write a computer game. I mean….I guess he can do it in two weeks if it’s super simple but, to my knowledge, he has no prior coding experience. Randy (we have a rare back-to-back book appearance for a satellite character!) wants to build a robot calculator. He doesn’t expand on that and I have no idea what he means. Jess clearly has no idea what she wants to do.
We finally step away from the twins and land in Olivia’s head. They’ve been assigned to paint the color green without using green. She’s done a garden in blues and browns. Bachman praises her work. He leans in close and murmurs to her that he’d be happy to give her one-on-one instruction whenever she wants it.
I did not like that.
Maybe this is just a me thing because I have experience with a teacher who used to lean close to girls in order to look down their shirts, but I don’t think a teacher has any business leaning into a student and murmuring to them. That’s creepy.
Olivia is all sweaty palms and butterflies because Bachman repeatedly singles her out and gives her extra attention. She feels like they have a “real connection”. She decides she’s “madly in love” with him by the end of their first class.
Girl, you don’t even know if he picks up his socks or if he’s nice to waitstaff. Calm down.
We’re back with Jess. It’s suddenly Wednesday and she’s at lunch listening to Lila brag about her dad dating Anika again. Jess finds it annoying. They get distracted by Olivia who shows up dressed completely out of character. I don’t know if you remember from way back in the book where Olivia was introduced, but she typically dresses like a hippie – long flowing skirts, lots of colors, beaded jewelry. You get the vibe. Today she’s wearing a tight black dress, boots and a leather jacket. Jess approves but is confused. Olivia doesn’t stop to eat. She says she’s on her way to talk to Bachman about one of her paintings.
Why is he there at lunch time when the class isn’t until the end of the day?
Back with Olivia. She finds Bachman painting in the room he uses to teach the MC. I still don’t understand why he’s there. Doesn’t the art teacher use that classroom during normal school hours? Olivia watches him for a few minutes before letting him know she’s there. He doesn’t notice her new look and she’s disappointed even though this man has literally NO IDEA what she normally looks like. He’s known her for two days. For all he knows, she dresses like this every Wednesday.
They make small talk about his career and where he finds inspiration. Olivia is smitten and finds him easy to talk to. He again offers her one-on-one time because he thinks she’s “going to do something great in this class”. Then he winks at her.
I did not like that.
Olivia interprets the wink as him saying he loves her too. She’s over the moon.
Yikes.
This will be the only time I ever say ‘thank goodness we’re back with Liz’. Enid comes up to her before the painting MC and tells her to watch how Olivia acts around Bachman. She thinks something inappropriate might be going on. Liz dismisses her entirely and says she’s just being silly. Olivia runs up and rushes them into the classroom because she doesn’t want to miss one second of her time with the teacher. She says something about Bachman being adorable and Enid retorts that he’s too old for them to think about him that way. Olivia says that he’s only 24ish and Enid repeats that he’s too old for them.
Bachman singles Olivia out in class again, asking her to discuss her favorite artist. Luckily she’s prepared. She’s read every local article ever written on Bachman and she knows his favorite artist. She claims that artist is her favorite too in order to show him how much they have in common.
Liz watches all their interactions and concludes that it’s only natural for Olivia to enjoy Bachman’s attention and there’s nothing to be alarmed about. Enid tries to wave the red flag again but Liz actually snaps at her to stop being so dramatic.
Enid needs a better friend. Liz is toxic.
Olivia offers to stay after class and help Bachman clean up. He tells her that she’d make a great apprentice. Liz thinks Olivia is just trying to be serious about painting because Liz is an idiot.
We slide over to Jess. She’s been assigned to be Randy’s lab partner in the electronics MC. Jess isn’t mad about it. She figures she can flirt with him and get him to help her figure out her project. It worked before, after all.
Back with Olivia and now it’s Thursday. She volunteers to leave class early in order to help Bachman set up the easels for class. Can’t he do that while he’s hanging around the school for hours for absolutely no reason? He tells her to show up half an hour early and she’s thrilled to spend the time alone with him. He should not be encouraging this.
Olivia has obtained Bachman’s home address from an alumni catalog (one of the articles mentioned where he went to college and she tracked down the alumni information from that). She’s also cut out pictures of him from the interviews and she’s hung them all over her bedroom walls. She thinks their age gap is romantic.
Liz comes up to her and asks her about her arts column for the Oracle. Olivia is so caught up in her imaginary love story with Bachman that she completely forgot to write anything for the paper. Liz tells her to talk to Penny about it. Olivia says she will but she doesn’t. It’s never really mentioned again so I have no idea what they did.
We’re back with Liz. NOW she’s concerned. It didn’t matter until the Oracle was involved but now it’s on her radar. Other students have noticed that Olivia is getting extra attention from Bachman and everyone is talking about it. They blame her for monopolizing the teacher and taking time away from them. Caroline seems particularly bitter about it. Liz tries to defend Olivia by saying she’s just excited about painting. What she should be doing is pointing out that this is on Bachman. He could ignore Olivia or set boundaries for her but he encourages her instead. I think he likes the attention and that’s pretty gross.
Olivia follows Bachman around, volunteering to clean his brushes and mop the floor. He soaks it all up. She’s clearly obsessed and he does nothing to discourage her.
We slide over to Jess. It’s Friday all of a sudden and even Amy won’t shut up about Lila’s dad and Anika. Jess is at the end of her rope with this. She still thinks Lila is making it all up. She decides to make a lie detector for her MC project.
We’re back with Olivia. Bachman announces that the school will be open on Saturday and Sunday for any student who wants to work on their MC project. It doesn’t sound like he (or any of the teachers) will be there so I’m not sure who is supervising the students. This sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Olivia sees a flier on his desk about an alumni presentation at the Riverside Art Academy. He says he’s going to be a speaker. He offers to take her so she can meet some of the people at the school since she’s considering going there. She takes that as a declaration of his love. She knows he can’t admit anything to her while the MC is going on, so she can’t wait for it to be over so they can be together.
Olivia is crushed at the idea of not seeing Bachman for two whole days so she drives to his apartment complex on Saturday. She’s been driving by all week but this time she parks across the street. She watches his building for awhile and then gets out and approaches the door. There’s a buzzer system so she finds his name and presses the button. When he answers, she realizes she’s woken him up. She asks if she can borrow an art book to use as inspiration for his project. He should have told her to go to the library or a bookstore or something but instead tells her to give him a minute to get dressed and then she can come up for coffee.
What the hell is wrong with this man?
Bachman lets her look through his art books and then he brings her a cup of coffee and shows her some sketches of earrings he’s working on. He asks her if she’d wear them and she thinks he must be designing them for her.
Yes, she’s delusional but his behavior isn’t helping. He’s feeding into it because he seems to like the attention.
She stays for half an hour. It’s very uncomfy.
Jess flirts with Randy to get his help on her project. You’d think he would have learned his lesson the last time this happened but he didn’t. Either that or he’s okay with being used.
We slide over to Liz. Enid is worried that Bachman might actually be interested in Olivia. Liz thinks she’s nuts. Enid insists that he’s encouraging Olivia’s adoration (and he totally is). During class Liz notices that Bachman pays WAY more attention to Olivia than to anyone else. She thinks he just admires Olivia’s talent.
{{{Note from future me: Pascal totally tries to play it off like Bachman was only paying so much attention to Olivia because he thought she was a young artist in the making and he wanted to nurture her gift. It did not come off that way to me. It came off as an older man who loved the attention he was getting from a young, pretty girl. He did nothing to set boundaries or discourage her crush on him. You will never convince me that he had 100% pure motives. I’m not saying he ever intended to cross the line with her, but I believe he got an ego boost from her crush and he encouraged it.}}}
Back with Olivia. She goes to that alumni thing with Bachman. While they’re mingling, she hears someone ask him where Monica is. He says she’s in LA for a few days. Olivia is curious but unconcerned.
Girl. He has a girlfriend. Come on.
Afterwards, Bachman asks her to go to some store to help him pick out a present for a “special friend”. He winks at her again as he says it so she thinks the present must be for her upcoming birthday. They go to the store. She points out a picture frame. He doesn’t buy it but he winks at her several more times during this shopping scene. I hate this guy.
Olivia goes home to work on her project. Later her mom says someone named Rod called for her. Rod is in her English class. I checked my spreadsheet and he’s never existed before. Sigh.
We skip to Tuesday. Olivia gets to school an hour early to work on her project. Rod runs up to her saying he has some ideas for changing some the Oracle’s graphics and fonts. He’s been in a print making MC and he’s learned some things. She asks if this can wait until the next week because she’s just too busy with her final project to give any thought to the paper. He agrees and then asks her if she wants to go to a movie with him that weekend. She’s convinced she and Bachman will be a couple by the weekend because the MCs end on Friday so she doesn’t really answer him. He gets embarrassed by the silence and says ‘never mind’ before walking away.
Later at lunch, Olivia tells Enid and Liz that she thinks Bachman is going to surprise her with something special for her birthday on Friday.
We’re with Jess now. It’s Wednesday and she’s working hard on her lie detector. That’s it. That’s all we get. I’m not sure what the point was.
We land back in Olivia’s head. She tells us she’s still driving by Bachman’s apartment every day in hopes of catching sight of him. Somehow she got his phone number and she calls his house from a payphone at least once a day just to hear his voice on the answering machine.
When she gets to school, Rod comes up with a layout he wants to submit for the Oracle. Olivia genuinely likes it. He asks her out again. I guess he wasn’t too traumatized by her soft rejection last time. She’s still convinced that she and Bachman will be a couple after Friday so she turns Rod down.
Bachman walks up and drops a flier for an art show he’s featured in. Olivia notices that it takes place on Friday and she’s disappointed that they won’t be able to go out for her birthday. He says he wants her to come to the show because there will be a surprise there for her. She happily accepts, assuming that he has some sort of birthday plan after all.
We’re back with Jess after school. Enid is over at the compound visiting Liz and Jess asks if they will test out her lie detector. It’s basically a thimble attached to a wire that’s attached to a pulse gauge. Jess puts the thimble on Enid’s finger to get a baseline and says her pulse is a normal 120/80.
Um.
Pascal, that’s not a pulse reading. That’s blood pressure and there’s no way she’s measuring that with a thimble. Come on.
Jess asks Enid some questions and her pulse goes up when she lies. Jess declares her project a success and plots how she can use it to embarrass Lila. Nothing else happens except Olivia’s mom calls and invites the twins to a surprise party for Olivia on Friday evening. No, it’s not at the art show. Whatever surprise Bachman has planned, this isn’t it.
Back with Olivia. She buys a silk jumpsuit to wear to the art show on Friday. As she’s coming out of the boutique, she sees Bachman go into the store next door. She hides and waits for him to come back out. When he does, he’s carrying a package that she assumes is a present for her.
Back with Jess. She’s shopping with Lila and Amy. Lila mentions the gossip about Bachman and Olivia being an item. Jess has already heard it from Caroline. She changes the subject and asks Lila how her final project is going. Lila says she’s royally fucked up the dress she was making and she has no idea what she’s going to do. She’s supposed to wear the thing at the fair on Friday. Jess feels smug because her project is a success and Lila’s is a failure.
Lila leaves Amy and Jess in the clothing store to go buy a zipper for her dress at the sewing supply shop. While she’s in there, she overhears Winston’s mom talking about the Wilkinson’s moving back to Sweet Valley.
Do they have to?
I hate Todd. I know Jeffrey isn’t perfect but he’s so much better than Todd.
Sigh.
Lila goes back to the clothing store where Amy reminds her that Jess has a dress that’s very similar to the one that Lila’s been trying to make for her MC. Lila brightens right up and asks Jess if she can borrow it and pass it off as her project. Jess says ‘no’ because she’s still pissed at Lila over the Anika thing. Lila says she has hot gossip that affects the Wakefield family and she’ll only tell Jess if she’s allowed to borrow the dress. Jess agrees. Lila doesn’t tell her right away because she's worried Jess will change her mind. They agree to make the exchange on Friday.
We skip directly to Friday afternoon and slide into Liz’s head. She and Enid are checking out the fair and looking at everyone’s final projects. They stop at the electronics area and watch as Jess hooks Lila up to her lie detector machine. Jess questions her about Anika and is stunned when the machine says Lila is telling the truth.
We’re back with Olivia. She goes to Bachman’s show after school, still expecting him to confess his love now that the MC is over. When she gets to the event, he’s standing with a woman and she’s wearing the earrings from that sketch he showed Olivia a few weeks ago. She’s crushed when she realizes that this is Monica and she and Bachman are dating.
Bachman shows her that he’s displayed her final project (along with some paintings by local college students) as part of his show. He tells her that several art critics have already commented on how good it is. Olivia is stunned to see her work hanging with the others. She feels pride in her talent even as she realizes that Bachman was never in love with her and it was all in her head.
Olivia goes home. The surprise party happens. Bachman and Monica are invited for some reason. I have no idea how her parents even knew he existed and no idea why they’d invite him. He’s the only adult there. It’s weird. Rod is there too and he gives Olivia a present. We don’t find out what it was.
Jess brings her lie detector for some reason. Lila asks her to test it out. Jess refuses but Ken forces it on her finger. Lila asks Jess if she made the lie detector all by herself. Jess says ‘yes’ but the machine says she’s lying. Jess makes Liz put it on. Lila steps up to ask Liz how she feels about Todd coming home. Liz freaks out and the book ends there.
This one was painful, y’all. I really think Bachman was inappropriate with Olivia and they definitely shouldn’t ask him back if the MCs continue.
Coming up Next: Todd’s back. Yippee.
No comments:
Post a Comment